the joy of being a captive audience

its been 2 weeks since i watched a movie. i slept on the plane ride over to the UK and whilst in the UK, i only watched season 2 of burn notice so i spent OVER two weeks not watching any movies. this is some sort of personal starvation record of film. though now that im home and facing a full DVR, i whet my appetite with a couple movies on the way back.

people watch movies on planes that they would NEVER watch in a theater or even DVR but with 7 hours and no charged laptop battery, watching YEAR ONE with jack black and michael cera seemed like a great idea. i had some vague interest in seeing this in theaters but the extraordinarily bad reviews swayed me and my $12 but at 30,000 ft, i was pretty excited to see it. there were other options but im not sure you can call terminator: salvation an option.

while i didnt love the film, i laughed consistently throughout the picture. it was actually not a bad watch and had some genuinely funny moments. when it was finished, i was happy. i had actually benefited from being a totally captive audience. to even more of a suprise, i started watching the latest woody allen movie whatever works and didnt enjoy it as much as i thought i did. however, i only watched half of it as i fell deathly ill 45 minutes in and collasped after a horriffic trip to the lavatory but that is TMI.

but back to year one.

how often has that happened to people? they get on a plane, watch a movie they would never see in theatres and end up enjoying it. quite often. i also watched marley and me.

well, i sort of watched marley and me. i didnt actually listen to the soundtrack but i caught myself looking up every now and again at it. i didnt want to watch this for many reasons, namely: 1. its a family film, 2. jennifer aniston, 3. owen wilson, 4 (and most important): i know that the freakin dog dies and when did i look up? WHEN THE DOG WAS AT THE FUCKING VET AND BEING PUT TO SLEEP!!!!!!!! and yes, i got teary. from a movie i wasnt watching without a soundtrack.

i changed my mind. being a captive audience sucks.

did i also mention i watched the last 30 minutes of transformers 2 on the plane as well and considered attempting to crash the plane to avoid anyone else having to watch it when it looped again.

great, now im on a no fly list for that statement. dear, government, i didnt actually mean that last statement. it was meant in jest because transformers is evil. please remove my name from no fly lists as it was a joke. sincerely, mpathy h

the american sci fi mind fuck: history and future

MOON stars Sam Rockwell and was directed by Duncan Jones. The film is about an astronaut (rockwell) alone on the moon harvesting helium to curb the energy shortage on earth. he is assisted by a computer named gertie (voiced by kevin spacey). at the end of the three years on the moon base something strange happens. that is all i am going to say plotwise (which is actually more than i actually talk about in terms of plot). the movie is exquisitely done. jones did a fantastic job with a sparse and sterile set and a moon surface that evocatively expresses lonliness and isolation. the score was also magnificent and perfectly suited the film. sam rockwell continues to prove how absolutely underrated he is as an actor though the upcoming g-force probably puts a dent in that statement (g force is about guinea pigs that are pilots)

number of poo jokes in moon: 1

number of poo jokes in trailer for g-force: 90298340298340928340298325

when i was coming out of the theatre wanting to talk about it i was left with a hearty amount of wonder and amazement at the events of the film that transpired. im not going to spoil anything but your mind will be fucked.

that got me thinking of other films that have given my brain a good rogering and a few come to mind: most david lynch (inland empire esp), noriko's dinner table (brilliant japanese film), solyaris (the tarkovsky one which i think inspired moon to a certain extent at least stylistically), primer and the man from earth. i am going to talk a bit about the latter two or at least the example of their mindfucking.

both primer and the man from earth are baffling films that deal with complex philosophical and scientific ideas. both films involve time travel, question of being, and the question of self. on the other hand, both are low budget independent and for the most part, not very well acted but that doesnt matter. the scripts for each of them leave the viewer guessing at the end or at least very confused.

moon, like the two films do not tie everything into a neat little package which is one of the major problems with most people's perception of film. sometimes, questions arent such a bad thing. ambiguous endings bring many to an rage like state of anger. i remember some friends of mine were really upset at the end of no country for old men or even in bruges. they watched the movie waiting for a payoff that never came.

ive always that a film was about the journey rather than the ending. im not upset when people spoil movies for me by telling me the ending because that is just one piece of the puzzle...its a major a piece that tells you what the topic is but its fun putting the rest together.

in the spirit of that, i bring you the SPOILERS to moon, the man from earth, primer, and transformers: revenge of the fallen. they are written below in white text; just scroll over them to read the twists

::SPOILERS:::

moon: he meets himself discovers he is a clone and that clones have been running the moon base for years

the man from earth: the man is immortal and is (might be) jesus christ

primer: there are about 10 or 15 different aaron or abes that all went back in time and subsequently cloned themselves

transformers: shia labeouf is a cunt

like how i did that? put the funny one sort of covered and away frm the other spoilers so you can still enjoy the humor? im pretty kick ass.