Crazy Bitches of Asian Horror Films

ive always been a huge fan of asian horror films. ever since i saw Ringu seven years ago, i knew that the dark atmospheric, creepy, psychological scariness was right up my alley. finally i was seeing a horror movie that legitimately scared the crap out of me. Whether it was Sadako from the Ring climbing out of a TV and eating my soul or Kayako climbing down steps croaking and eating my soul or Asami from Audition putting me in a bag sticking needles into me and um...eating my soul, im a sucker for the scary black haired lady of Asian horror.

One of the first major films I saw that features the black haired lady/ghost was KAIDAN, the seminal collection of horror films by Masaki Kobayashi. the four short films were all based on popular legend and one of them was about the vengeful female ghost with long black hair covering her eyes. a lot of people have criticized the japanese for overusing this but the imagery and themes of revenge are no different from western culture's fascination with zombies, vampires, or eerie white ghosts. the color white is also a strong symbol of death in asian culture which is why a lot of the black haired ghosts are wearing white gowns. as an aside, i will add that throughout asia, black is not a mourning color--white is.

now that we have the historical info out of the way lets talk about da bitches.

of course the women arent bitches, they are seeking revenge for violent deaths to themselves or their family and frankly most of the the time, their anger is justified though their methods be a little extreme. it is right for Sadako from Ringu to make a video that kills people unless they copy it and show it to someone else? Um....maybe she overreacted but you would be cranky if someone dumped you in a well to die and had to be cold and wet for seven days. So, I usually give the female villians the benefit of doubt. However, I saw BLACK HOUSE, and frankly was... the chick from that was a crazy bitch.

she killed without remorse which was her shtick. she did not feel guilt and killed people for insurance money. the hero in this film is a meek insurance agent trying to justify the claims. finally, ive been waiting for claims agent as a protagonist (such an oft under appreciated hero of nerdom). overall, black house was an awesome movie but one of the few clear cut cases of an angry female with long black hair killing seemingly for no reason.

though i hope this film was an isolated example, im hoping that asian horror films dont jump onto this bandwagon. for too years, american horror films have been plagued by a maniac without much motivation to kill other than insanity. or the reasons they have for killing are pretty lame (freddy kreuger im lookin at you!). michael myers, leatherface, sandra bullock -- all merciless killers just because (sandra bullock makes me die inside).

what makes asian horror so entrancing for me is the motivation behind the killings. the women that are so terrifying and ruthless at the beginning of the film become almost pitiable. they are just looking for closure and an end to their emotional torture. i want to feel for the villian. a compassionate villian makes an interesting story.

whispering corridors, momento mori, tale of two sisters, the red shoes, cello, cinderella -- all of these have some sympathetic and black haired villian or ghost and use it to the story's advantage.

while these women may be misunderstood and crazy, they are intriguing characters. in short, these ladies are all right with me. except for the black house chick, that bitch is straight up trippin'

The Importance of the Hurt Locker in the Upper Echelon of War Films

THE HURT LOCKER will be remembered as one of the most important movies of the 00's.

this is a lofty claim for a film during it largely ignored during it release and starring virtually no one of note (the ralph fiennes appearance was basically a cameo) but this is going to be a landmark film for one major reason: that the war in iraq has finally been accurately portrayed on film and connected with audiences.

before i really get going, the hurt locker is about a bomb defusing unit working in Iraq in the second occupation (this one).

if you look back at movies dealing with terrorism and modern warfare post 9/11, you will see quite a few: in the valley of elah, rendition, stop-loss, grace is gone, the kingdom, and even vantage point. still, none of these movies really resonated as something realistic or relevant and had the critical acclaim to make it a lasting memory. of those, elah was nominated for an oscar but it remained largely ignored and like most of the movies above, it dealt more with the impact of the war at home rather than in the field.

im not in the armed services nor do i know anyone who serves in the army so it does seem pretty naive for me to sit here on my couch and type about the real experiences the film conveys. though in many ways, the actual realism is secondary to having a strong, lasting piece of media detailing this war, one of the most important historical turning point of the US. no reproduction is going to be 100% accurate but in this case, the message is more important.

true to life or not, this is a film that people have slowly latched onto as a gritty and true to life war film. it is not the constant explosions and adventure of the kingdom or the heavy handed armchair leftist touting politics of lions for lambs or rendition. it is a film that says that fighting in iraq is psychologically intense with bursts of incredible fear and imminent death with periods of intense boredom. this isnt a movie about politics, it is about the men on the ground that the politicos are arguing about.

i think that the only other film to capture this aspect of war is jarhead, the immensely underrated sam mendes film made about the first occupation of iraq. for all intents and purposes, a lot of war does seem to be waiting around. even in 'all quiet on the western front,' which i consider to be one of the greatest war movies of all time, there is a line to the extent of 'we wait around we fight and try not to get killed.'

that is war, right? watered down and simple. fight the other side and try not to get killed.

but its so much than that especially when dealing with a polarizing war such as that of iraq. there are so many other sides including the iraqi population. there are endless greys in these conflicts and on top of it, there are those for and against american occupation with the latter being far louder than the former.

in the hurt locker, nothing in the movie cried out to me of propaganda of either side. to me, it was a simple and beautifully done film with a solid message about a relevant topic that will continue to be discussed for many future generations. the hurt locker is a modern day 'all quiet on the western front,' 'full metal jacket,' 'saving private ryan,' 'mash,' or 'patton' and deserves it place as a major talking point about war in the modern era.

***************

as an aside, i want to go back to writing about movies from 50 years ago. think ill switch back to that

i HATE the grammys and fear the Oscars will turn into it

"Grammy asshole weekend in LA. Yuck... The Grammys = the old guard / old media propping up their puppets trying to convince the outside world (and each other) they're relevant."

those words are trent reznor as said on his twitter account and i totally completely agree.

the grammys by their very nature are a giant disappointment. the goal of the grammys is to showcase and award the best of music in the american market. this is of course the most cutting edge, innovative, and daring sonic interlays on radio airwaves today. or they will just give a bunch of statues to black eye peas, who dont so much write songs as they do put loud thumping noises together with a single phrase and taylor swift, who actually might be carrie underwood? um....the second one?

of course the grammys are a total joke. the fact that a major award went to kings of leon which everyone who knows music feel haven't been really good since a-ha heartbreak (or whatever it was called). the grammys are basically the same award ceremony as the people's choice awards, american music awards, billboard music awards, just to name a few. its another excuse for the same crop of mediocre music that sells a lot of copies to get on TV.

one only needs to look at the incredibly condescending, 'best alternative album' category to truly appreciate the ridiculousness of the farce. phoenix won. good. they were up against a death cab for cutie EP, the new depeche mode album, yeah yeah yeahs, and david byrne/brian eno. right. bryne/eno -- who talked about this album? they are legends but it did not make waves. yeah yeah yeahs its blitz was definitely a great album and deserved the spot in a year that didn't include breakthrough albums, commercially and critically by animal collective and grizzly bear. depeche mode's new album was pretty much shrugged off with a giant 'meh' (i love depeche mode but this album was not very good and playing the angel was a way better album by far). also, this wasn't a 'alternative' album but closer to electronic or even dance. in fact, neither was the byrne/eno album. finally, death cab for cutie's open door EP was really good. in fact, i liked it more than the tepid narrow stairs album (which was nominated for a grammy, their first) but i refuse to accept that there were no other full albums that could fill the bill.

i complain about this every year but every time someone says that the oscars needs to be like the grammys, and that people are sick of movies that didnt make a billion dollars winning best picture-i want to bite their face.

what is best isn't always what is most popular. in fact, it usually never is.

the grammys maybe at one point was relevant but now, its just an excuse to be a more family friendly MTV music awards which is way more about the show than the actual awards.

the oscars i feel will eventually go down this road and we will see quality all around brilliant films like the hurt locker getting nudged out for GI Part 4: The Quest for Unbridled Merchandising. i think if avatar wins best picture this journey will be accelerated.

avatar is not the kind of movie that wins best picture. it is the kind of movie that wins every technical award but nothing that involves rewarding story structure. a film like the hurt locker excels in every single area of celluloid. it is thought provoking, well acted, directed, and is destined to be included in lists of important films from a critical standpoint.

avatar is like the matrix. its a game changer and the kind of movie that changes the way popular films are made. popular? yes. good? yeah. oscar worthy? no. Anyone out there who thinks the Matrix should have won Best Picture should stop reading or send me hate mail.

just listen to grizzly bear's two weeks and get lost in the subtle sweeps of the beautiful harmonies and chorus. experience the well crafted technical musicianship and the unique and subtle lyrics. then listen to the black eye peas boom boom pow. what does that even mean? what is it trying to say? one is made for people who love hearing something cutting edge yet accessible and beautiful. the other is made for folks to dance to. nothing wrong with that but not deserving of the highest musical honor america has to offer.

• Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas

More Black Eyed Peas music on iLike

LETS GET AVATAR-DED!

AVATAR! 3D! AWESOME! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now that i got that out of system, i would like to welcome people back to mise en meh. ive been a little quiet since my ten megawatt list that took most of my christmas break from me. during that time i was writing i was watching A LOT of movies. i will resume the recent watching feature soon but for now i want to talk about avatar.

i saw it last week in a HUGE IMAX. as far as IMAXs go, this was a big one and of course it was in 3D.

i winced quite a bit during the movie. in fact, during each of the stupid navi dancing sequences, my wife and i were downright LOLing at the ridiculousness of it.

'silly navi. its going to take more than that to save ripley!'

before i start talking about what i liked in this awesome awful film, ill talk about the badness. going into avatar, i had heard a lot of things on this movie.

@secretcristina said it was about 'blue cats living in an internet tree'

@radmike likened to ferngully as did hitler

this is my favorite hitler video btw...but that is for another blogspot.

yes avatar was incredibly stupid. the plot was nothing new and downright silly with predictable turns, clear good and evil, and a lot of cinematic pilfering (the final battle between jake sully and the evil military guy reminded me a lot of the final battle scene in iron man). frankly, hitler is right and sam worthington is awful. REALLY awful. his acting is laughably mad and is frequently outacted by anything remotely on screen. in fact, signourey weaver really phones it in too and you have to wonder if any of the flesh actors were too distracted by the awesomeness of pandora to actually concentrate on acting.

but again, this movie is not about humans.

the world of pandora was the most amazing thing ive ever seen. floating mountains!? YEAH! crazy dog things!? WHOA! FERNGULLY RE-IMAGINED! FUCK YES!! i never wanted to leave the magical land of pandora and every moment in this world was so frickin' cool.

this is a game changer. much like the matrix did with action sequences, avatar made 3D movies with motion capture characters look silly. if you compare the navi with any of the characters in the zemekis trilogy of mediocre to attrocious IMAX films (polar express, beowolf, christmas carol), the navi reign and everything else looks silly.

a coworker of mine was comparing the 3D in avatar to beowolf. in the latter, characters would take out a weapon and seem to say something, 'look at my sword in 3D! it is totally in 3D! is this not blowing your mind!' or 'im going to swing a stein of ale and bits of red shit is going to come FLYING out at you because its 3D! ISNT THIS AWESOME!' with avatar, 'here are some floating mountains. it is impossible to picture these in 2D because this is a real place and these are really some floating mountains.'

avatar should NOT have won the golden globe for best drama. that should have went to hurt locker which should win the oscar as well. avatar was an outstanding cool film that will change the course of action films from now on. it is NOT a best picture. the story and the acting were passable to downright abysmal. cameron should get a best picture nod of course and possibly win but this film should not take away best picture honors from hurt locker, a brilliant, impressive, smart, understated, and all around excellent film. the hurt locker doesnt have weak points and will change the way hollywood will make movies about contemporary war.

next up for avatar is a sequel and maybe jimmy cameron should borrow the wachowskis to put in some cool bullet effects. that would be SWEET. seriously jim, i cant wait ten years to go back to pandora. i want to see some of those faraway lands referenced and maybe see the internet tree again.

the anti-climax that is the golden globes

of all the major awards shows (sorry people's choice--not you), i have the most contempt for the golden globes or the hollywood foreign press awards. basically, its a chance for minor critics to give awards to whatever movies they feel can get the most ratings. but in the end no one watches and it isnt really much of a litmus test for the oscars (that would be the critics choice and the guild awards). anyway, because im so anti-hfpa and so pro-other tings here are my picks:

Best Motion Picture - Drama

The Hurt Locker (2008)

this is the movie to beat and avatar fever was still a bit calmer when the critics were voting.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Julie & Julia (2009)

(500) days has got a good shot but no can stop the streep

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

George Clooney for Up in the Air (2009/I)

clooney as himself. jeff bridges is the mickey rourke of this year

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side (2009)

UGH!

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Joseph Gordon-Levitt for (500) Days of Summer (2009)

part of the love for this movie was the levitt.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Meryl Streep for Julie & Julia (2009)

a lock.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds (2009)

another lock

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Mo'Nique for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

lock again

Best Director - Motion Picture

Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker (2008)

ditto. lock.

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Quentin Tarantino

tarantino is the ultimate always the screenplay never the film guy

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

Crazy Heart (2009): T-Bone Burnett, Ryan Bingham("The Weary Kind")

a crap song but the stuff they go for

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

A Single Man (2009): Abel Korzeniowski

i would love to see where the wild things get it but a single man was pretty brilliant

Best Animated Film

Up (2009)

will anyone who think this isnt going to win never bet again?

Best Foreign Language Film

Das weisse Band - Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte (2009)

im thinking haneke can pull this one off. the real contest is between this and almodobar's broken embraces

DONE. enjoy your evening of stupid awards show nonsense and im going to go back to writing real blogs soon

My Favorite Film of the Last Ten Years...

1. WALL-E

yup. no description needed.

...

ok. i guess i can write SOMETHING.

thinking back over my life watching films from this decade, ive been drawn to the macabre movies that tend to make me feel empty inside. why do i do this to myself? as ive said before, i watch movies to feel extremes and it might be because im so cynical and embittered with life that its hard for me to experience something that makes me feel good about life and humanity. dont get me wrong, there have been quite a few films i loved that genuinely made me feel happy throughout the years like that over the years. as i discussed earlier in the list, harold and kumar go to the white castle is one of them. the scene in which they finally got their burgers made me feel great to be alive as it was seeing two people struggle and then get exactly what they want. that is something i can relate to and something i have experienced- a struggle and an inevitable pay-off though not all conflicts end that way.

with wall-e, the struggle was the loss and eventual redemption of humanity. the character of wall-e, the last garbage collection bot on earth, through years of mindless work discovered humanity and finds joy and pleasure in the smallest details and minutiae we all take for granted. meanwhile, the actual human race has lost all the things that made themselves unique. they relied on machines for everything -- food, movement, reproduction and while excretion was not covered in the film, we can make a wager as to some other things those chairs did. in short, human beings could barely be classified as living things and certainly not unique. also, at any point in the movie, it doesn't show humans loving anything (love being perhaps one of the most important feelings of the human spirit). though wall-e, one of millions of similarly produced beings, alone on the planet discovered all these things and more and sought the one thing that humanity neglected: real physical contact. wall-e wanted to hold eva's hand (eva of course being another scouting droid robot sent to recover hints of plant life on earth) which he understood as the ultimate sign of love. when eva is struck down, wall-e nurses her(/it?) back to health and shelters her from rain and other elements, again something that humanity has forgotten.

without giving away spoilers (though i think we all know how it ends) the pay-off of the film is epic and consistently drives me to tears. the message for me is not that love conquers all, which im not sure i actually believe in life, but that nothing is as worse of as it appears. in the beginning of the movie, humanity seemed worse for the wear but there was a spark still alive in the form of wall-e. in that spark, there was hope, and eventually, humanity did survive and for me, knowing that seemingly insurmountable odds can be overcome is an invigorating feeling.

on a side note, to anyone who has seen the film and not paid close attention to the credits, i suggest you do so. it traces the future of the human race of when they leave the ship to a recovery of their culture and it does so through art movements in history. in other words, earliest images of humans leaving the ship are cave paintings than go to ancient egyptian-->medieval-->renassaince-->impression etc. in fact, here it is:

so there ya go. my favorite movies of the last 10 years. that only took me about 30 hours to do.

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (5-2)

5. 3-Iron

the next 4 films in the top 5 are all foreign and have all debuted to some acclaim. however, these movies from here on in affected me more than any other films this decade and they all fall within my top 20 favorite movies of all time. 3 Iron is a Korean film directed by Ki Duk Kim who i have written about quite a bit on this list. this film is about a man who breaks into people's houses when they are on vacation and live there. he doesnt steal or wreck anything. in fact, he just moves in and cleans or organizes their things before he moves out. along the way he meets a girl who joins him in this quest. the girl is in an unhappy marriage and forms a strange codependent relationship with this this other guy. so, the description of the film only gets stranger from here on in. it is mostly silent and the two leads never talk save for one important line at the film spoken by the girl. throughout the course of the film, the man learns how to make himself invisible not in the literal sense but to live in the natural world without being seen. there is nothing supernatural just the ability to avoid being seen by using quiet and speed. in the 90 minutes movie, you encounter one of the most unique love stories ever produced on film. the themes of lonliness, isolation, and in the end, redemption are common to all ki duk kim films but in this one the stately silent and claustrophobic modern world appear more beautiful than usual. ive seen this about 5 or 6 times and each time i discover new things to admire with this film. Here is the trailer...

and here is the full film...

4. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

this movie absolutely should have won the best foreign film oscar in 2007. in fact, this probably should have won best picture overall. it won the cannes palm d'or which is a pretty big award. so, what is this about? it is about a romanian woman trying to help her friend get an abortion in 1987. problem is that abortion is illegal in romania and they have to do it on the black market. i think its obvious what that the title refers to. directed by christian mungui, this is a tragic tale and one that gets increasingly more tragic as the film goes on. throughout the film it becomes clear that the abortion is one of the simpler parts of their story. what continues is a dark tale of abuse, lies, and a movie that is too painful to watch twice. why do i put myself through these experiences? i could have watched transformers and everything could have been better. i never would have had to sit through this incredibly depressing film that left me too broken to cry by the end of the film. but then i wouldnt get to experience this amazing tell of human drama. this is a topic that i would never have to deal with otherwise and that is exactly why i watched this. with film, it is possible to experience life as you could never. a true life drama most likely happened to people, quite a few of them and films like allow someone like me, living a comfortable life close to boston to watch the struggles of romanian women in the 80s do something that just about any american could do without having to watch the compromises they made. here is the trailer:

and here is the full movie!

Watch 4 Months, 3 Weeks & 2 Days (2008) Online Free - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

3. Kairo (Pulse)

this is in my top 10 favorite films of all time and though its considered a horror film, i consider one of the most intense and well done psychologically dramas ever made. directed masterfully by kiyoshi kurosawa, this movie is about the dead returning to on earth through computers. as the dead continue to re-enter the world, people begin to disappear into the void between worlds. like 3 iron, this is a study on alienation in the modern world. the message of the film is that is as the world gets closer throughout computers, people can become increasingly segregated into their own cyber worlds. in this respect, it is logical to think that the dead can still exist in a cyber world. this film came out in 2001 which was before a lot of the social networks and iphones and the constant connectivity which is now considered normal in society. in the film people who were once living become completely immersed in their computers and quite literally disappear in a fuzz. pulse was remade in the US and like most US remakes, completely missed the point. instead of an existential rumination of society and isolation due to increased false connections of interwebbing, it was a horror film about the dead walking the earth. the original pulse is scary but is so much more than your standard horror film. its a mindfuck and an experience. this is almost necessary to watch twice to fully appreciate what is going on in the film. im not sure if you can see kairo as a warning or a promise as to what the future will bring but its an intense and thought provoking film. here is the trailer that does sell it as a scary ass horror film. here is the trailer:

i cant find a link for the whole film :( sorry!

2. Lilja-4-Ever

a few years ago the Onion made THIS LIST featuring 24 movies that are too painful to watch twice. on this list were many of my favorite movies i have seen more than once (bergman's winter light? pssshaw ive seen that 4 times. audition? kids stuff.) but #23 is the subject of this blog entry. Lilja-4-Ever is a Russian film made by the brilliant swedish director lukas moodysson (who helmed the excellent together and fucking amal). it is about a russian teen who accidently ends up sold into forced prostitution. in short, this is the second most depressing movie ive ever seen and the most intimate and tragic film ever made on the subject of human trafficking. in the film, moodysson condemns those prey on the girls, the countries that support it, and the western world in general for not doing enough. the heroin, lilja is championed as a martyr and the ultimate victim. i dont want to talk about this movie too much because i want you all to watch this movie. its a masterpiece and it does not shove its message down your throat and if you it did, it wouldnt be nearly as effective. the most heartbreaking aspect of the film is its gritty reality and the sense of further impending doom. watching this movie you know that things arent going to get better. after all, even before she is sold into prostitution, she has a close not entirely sexual friendship with a local boy who commits suicide after she leaves and becomes her guardian angel. his best though sad is unfortunately one of the more redeeming aspects of the film. i watch this film and loved it for the same reasons as 4 months 3 weeks 2 days; for the unflinching view of someone else's reality. the magic of film allows us all to experience legitimate problems of the world. this sort of thing happens and though these are fictionalized accounts, the stories could be typical to most tales of human traffic and other violations of basic human rights.

here is the trailer

and here is the whole movie!