Mise en Meh

I have moved.

2011-11-25T06:51:00.000-08:00

Sorry I didn't update this, but I am now posting on my tumblr

MPATHY.TUMBLR.COM

731. Pervasive Gender Politics and Sexual Confusion Through Life

2011-02-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

…Or Hey! You’re All Gonna Be in This Experiment Film

(the only publicly available video is some shots of the film set to Charlotte Gainsbourg's excellent "5:55")

I am going to put on my pseudo-academic cap for a moment and discuss Je, Tu, Il, Elle, an experimental Avant garde film from Belgian-born Chantal Akerman. She would achieve international recognition for films like “The Rendezvous of Anna” and “Jeanne Dielmann,” (both of which are mentioned later in this list) but her auspicious debut is also a work of major note.

The film opens in the bedroom of “Je” (French for “I”) and features Akerman as the titular character. She is oft-nude throughout the film and examines her own body, its failings, and a recently doomed relationship. Throughout the film, she eats from a bag of sugar and contemplates her failings. The imagery is remarkably melancholy and depressing as she wanders from one part of her single room apartment to another only to return back to her original spot as a voiceover narration details her thoughts and movements. She gazes outside a large bay window but never leaves the confines of her room. The camera is always pointed towards her and looking outside the window so we are always in the same space as the narrator though we never see her view outside the apartment just the extremely poetic vision of her looking out.

The second major section of the film concerns “Il” (“he” in French). She leaves her apartment to hitchhike back to her former lover. Along the way, a trucker picks her up and the servile role she maintained in her apartment carries through to the cab of the truck. She gives the driver oral sex (shown off camera) as Il delivers a soliloquy on love and loneliness. The two characters form an immediate bond with each other based on the nothingness of their lives and hollow relationships. Both of the characters speak towards one another but do not truly converse and form a bond based on isolation rather than a true connection. Also, it would seem that the oral sex was a foregone conclusion though neither character wants to go through with it. It was not an act based on want or desire but from societal expectations. In the end, both characters part ways seemingly forgetting entirely of the other’s existence almost immediately.

The last section of the film concerns “Elle” (French for “her”). As Akerman arrives at her lover’s apartment, we see that her lover is a woman which would suggest that “Je” suffers from sexual confusion. What follows is a tense and at times violent love-making session filmed entirely in one static shot 15 feet from the bed. The passion and intensity in this scene would suggest that “Je” is gay rather than bisexual and the recent sexual contact with a man was based on an opportunity rather than something more emotionally tangible.

Akerman spent the whole film judging herself and basking in her own insecurities and faults though when reunited with her former lover, her life energy returns. She hugs her as if to hold on for dear life and the sometimes violent wrestling might even be allegoric and comparable to Jacob wrestling an Angel; the Angel representing Jacob’s own insecurities and struggles with faith. Though she is still wrestling with her own demons, the battle has become more passionate. However, the film ends inauspiciously as “Elle” leaves for work with the assumption that Akerman will leave never to see her again.

“Tu” refers to us, the viewers, as we watch the filmmaker’s journey through her own sexuality and loneliness. Perhaps Akerman wants us to reflect on the scared malcontent inside of us that exists from the inside looking out at the world. Her journey of self-discovery and love, albeit temporary was fraught with heartbreak, self-pity, wonton acts of forced carnality, and redemption though the films ends as it begins, with “Je” alone.

“Je Tu Il Elle” was a bold movie for first time director Akerman and it wasn’t just the nudity. To be nude on screen isn’t difficult but to allow herself to be truly naked, in the literal and existential sense is an enormous challenge. The movie wasn’t erotic or meant to titillate but to express intense overwhelming emotional desire. A recent parallel of such a role would be Riko Kikuchi in Babel, who was absolutely robbed of a supporting actress Oscar by Jennifer Hudson (whose performance in the truly awful Dreamgirls was passable, at best).

Akerman has spent most of her career making films about gender roles and small character studies of normal women. “Jeanne Dielmann,” largely considered a masterpiece and among the greatest films ever made, is an epic four hour film, shot largely in one room, about the title character who becomes a prostitute to make money to raise her son. No sex is shown in Dielmann and doesn’t need to be, as the statements of female independence from claustrophobic lives are strong enough. For her debut film though, Akerman, laid herself bare and expressed more emotions in 60 minutes than most movies show in 3 hours. It was an excellent hint of things to come and introduced to the world to a great talent and truly original mind.

About the Top 800 Project:

Using the They Shoot Pictures Starting List of 8800 films (LINK) and my Netflix ratings, I sifted through the list and of the 4500 films I’d seen, I selected a random number of films I liked more than the others. The list was about 812 films. I kicked off 12 to get an even 800. The list chronologically goes up to 2009. Each blog entry will list ten films, one of which will be discussed in detail. The ten films will then be posted toThe Top 800 Master List, a Google docs file compiling them. When the countdown finishes in what will be probably be a really a long time, I will begin discussing random films that I didn’t get to before.

745. Sneakers: The Obsession Begins

2011-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

…or I Should Have Kept My Mouth Shut

It was on a Monday in 7^th grade that my science teacher asked our class if they saw any movies over the weekend. Several students responded with what film they saw and if they liked it or not. When it came to me, I got up and proceeded to review a film detailing such features as the script, acting, and cinematography (while I didn’t know what that was, I had read in Premiere Magazine that it was a “coffee table award” at the Oscars). That movie I reviewed Sneakers, with Robert Redford and Ben Kingsley. So out of all the movies on the list, this forgotten and profoundly outdated cyber-crime film from the early 90’s, is the one in which I have the biggest personal connection.

That chance encounter in the beginning of the school year started a trend in which every Monday, I would give a movie review. This meant that I had to watch at least one movie a week and then put some thought into a review. By the end of the year, it was the highlight of my week and I started to write up my reviews for other classes and the school newspaper. Interestingly, I was recently digging through relics of my middle school career and found my English journal from that year. I saw as the focus slowly shifted from mundane details of my life to reviews of movies giving the beginnings of my love affair with film a clear start date.

The oral, weekly movie reviews continued through 7^th grade into 8^th grade and a few months into 9^th grade (when my English teacher put the kibosh on it when double entendres took over for actual content). Though by that point, I had already taken up a column in the school newspaper to complain about the poor quality of films and hail art house and independent cinema much to the ire of my blockbuster loving classmates. Slowly but surely, I learned that I loved being hated for my reviews and that having an unpopular opinion and flaunting it was fun. I was already an unpopular kid and with the reviews, I wasn’t invisible anymore and that I was getting attention for my reviews, albeit negative. My parents tried to correct my shameless elitism but my insecure high school self decided that if I wasn’t going to be loved by all, then I might as well be hated.

Thankfully, over the years, I have since matured and learned to respect other’s opinions and not like independent and foreign cinema just for the sake of liking it but because its well-made and interesting. I have a feeling that my 13 year old self would have loved films like “Rachel Getting Married” and “The Kids Are Alright,” when my twenty-something self cringes at the pompousity of them.

Still, along with the negativity, I was finding that a few people were hearing from I was writing and that I was getting some of my classmates to give indie films a chance. As I continued to write reviews through my teens and twenties, my passion went from irritating others to sharing my love of movies and this is what the Top 800 Project is all about. Not a “look at all the movies I’ve seen!” thing but a “these are some really good movies that I recommend you watch” blog.

This brings us back to Sneakers. To be perfectly honest, if I never reviewed this movie for my 7^th grade class, I would have completely forgotten about it and it never would have ended up on here. But this is a list of my favorite movies and many of them have personal emotional ties and this is the magic of cinema. Like a good song, seeing a movie again can you bring back a stream of memories, positive, negative, or neutral. This is why I am not giving straight up reviews of these movies but rather, highlighting something about the film that really grabbed me and drew me into the film even if it wasn’t the film itself! That being said, Sneakers is still a pretty fun movie.

About the Top 800 Project:

A Quest to Get Lost

2011-01-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, May 23rd, 2010 the cultural phenomenon and highly addictive science fiction drama Lost ended its run after 125 episodes of David Lynchian worthy mind games, false starts, fake endings, and general nuttiness. It was a polarizing show. If you were into it, then you were obsessed. If you weren't, you were either turned off by the incessant discussion about it among your friends or checked out of the show due to its inability to provide the viewer with the slightest bit of closure.

I never watched Lost; that is, until the last episode.

After six years of hearing my friends theorize and ponder the shows many twists, I knew that I would have to check it out at some point but the procrastination to do so made diving into it already a few seasons deep a daunting task. My wife felt the same way. So, somewhere in season 4, we made a decision to watch the last episode and if we liked it, then we would watch the entire show. This way, we knew how it ended and wouldn't be disappointed in the result. On the other hand, if it was brilliant, then the surprise would be ruined but that was a risk we were willing to take.

We watched the last episode and became entranced. We loved how sweet the show was and the bonds formed between the characters. It seemed like sci-fi with a heart, something that made shows like Star Trek: The Next Generation enjoyable. The creators said that Lost was a love story and from the last episode, it was clear that it was. At the close of the episode, we were pretty (excuse the pun) lost, but we still decided to add season 1 to our netflix queue and go to town.

Some seven months later, we watched the finale this morning and though we knew how it ended, we were very pleased with our decision to wait. Like many great journeys, the end is nice but the quest getting there is the rewarding part. After all, is there anyone out there who would have not watched Empire Strikes Back if they knew that Vader was Luke's dad? Of course not. Generations have latched on to Empire and the whole of Star Wars knowing the entire story and enjoy it just as much as the those who found out about the twist live in theaters. In cases like these, it's about the journey, not the ending. Plus, disappointment is a terrible feeling.

Knowing how Lost ended, we were able to focus on all the plot twists and not worry about how it ends because we knew that...

::SPOILERS::

Jack dies, there is something called the light that keeps the island together, the island is a portal to another place, the dog survives, all the people from the show find love and end up in a Church NOT on the island and move towards the light, and there is another universe in which some of those people are on a plane and escape

::SPOILERS::

Do I still have questions about the show? Oh yeah, absolutely and while I still have some nagging curiosities (Why is Libby in the mental hospital to begin with anyway?), they aren't really that important. The journey of the characters and their development superseded any loose ends or discontinuities within the show. After all, it is just a show. I think that in order to answer all the questions, there would have needed to be a live lecture and Q&A with Ben Linus, Richard, Jacob, and the Man in Black (not the actors, the characters) and that would not have been very exciting, just informative.

Lost reminded me of "Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events." The books, not the "unfortunate" movie made from the first three in the series a few years back. The books themselves involved three orphans, a secret society, and a mounting number of double and triple crossing secret agents, codes, and stubborn riddles. When the final book came out, I knew there was no way the author was going to be able to tie up all the many, countless loose ends so he took a novel approach and he tied up hardly any of them.

Instead, he made the book a meditation about paranoia and living in frightening times. Given that the series of books were begun around 9/11 and that, combined with a few choice political digs, suggested it was a statement on the importance of love, stability, and confidence in an unstable world. I feel these are all also at the heart of Lost.

All the characters find true love and gain the stability and self-confidence that they never had off the island. Jacob tells Jack that the survivors of the crash were all lonely and running away from their lives before they crashed on the island. When the show ended, they walked bravely towards the light. They weren't sure what was waiting for them but they trusted in themselves to go towards it, and with their loved ones among them.

The show was laced in Judeo-Christian symbolism. There was the obvious: Jack's father was named Christian Shephard and guided characters in times of need. There were some subtle ones: Jacob was the island's chosen protector; namely, protector from his brother which might as well have been named Esau, though the Lost character was never named. But in the last episode, during a confrontation between Jack and his father, Christian is standing in front of a Church stain glass mirror bearing the signs of the six major religions (Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism) which suggests that in the end, we all go to the same place, which is a really nice sentiment.

Lost was a great TV show and that is what it was, a TV show. Not a religion or a sacred document, but a really entertaining TV show. After all, seasons 4 and some of season 5 was pretty silly and the entire thing as a whole is completely ridiculous. Still, it must have had something as I watched 125 episodes of it from May until now. Now to quote Marge Simpson, "Let us never speak of it again."

Namaste.

Golden Globe Are on Sunday. Whoop-Dee-Do. My picks

2011-01-14T10:21:00.000-08:00

the golden globes are a funny thing. and by funny, i mean stupid and infuriating. they are such obvious starfuckers and with their almost nonsensical nominations and contradictory winners make them a curiousity rather than the Oscar precursor it originally was.

Since it's a foregone conclusion comedies don't win Oscars, I submit to you the last five winners of the Globe for Best Drama: Avatar, Slumdog Millionaire, Atonement, Babel, and Brokeback Mountain. One of a five right is a pretty terrible predictor. Also, every year, their choices in the comedy category continue their quest from quirky and controversial to silly. I think the collective "WTF" moment moviegoers had when they saw that Alice in Wonderland, Burlesque, and The Tourist had been nominated proves this. Not only had all three films garnered attrocious reviews (well deserved in the case of Alice) but The Tourist is not even close to being considered a comedy (IMDB says its genres are action/drama). The Satellite Awards, the awards given by the International Press Academy also have a comedy category and they nailed it, nominating critically and publicly acclaimed films like Please Give, Cyrus, and the eventual winner and perpetual snub, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.

So why am I writing about such a shitty awards show? Probably the same reason I know who all the Jersey Shore people are. It's a trainwreck and I can morally accept devoting a bit of text to picking winners and criticisizing the nominess. So, here we go, my picks for the movie ones. Bolded films indicate my choices for winners.

Best Motion Picture - Drama

Black Swan

The Fighter

Inception

The King's Speech

The Social Network

The Social Network is going to win the Oscar for best picture unless Black Swan picks up some major momentum, which I don't think is going to happen. So why Inception? The globes love big movies that make a lot of money (Avatar). Inception is this movie. It's a pretty spectacular movie too so a win wouldn't be a major defeat for anything. I would like to see Black Swan or the King's Speech though, the latter of which was the best out of the lot in terms of story structure.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Alice in Wonderland

Burlesque

The Kids Are All Right

Red

The Tourist

While I didn't see The Tourist, I can say that none of these movies were all that great. Red was entertaining but as I mentioned above, Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World was the best comedy this year by far. Why the Kids Are All Right? Why not? It was liked by a lot of people though I genuinely despised it and can you honestly envision anything else winning?

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Jesse Eisenberg for The Social Network

Colin Firth for The King's Speech

James Franco for 127 Hours

Ryan Gosling for Blue Valentine

Mark Wahlberg for The Fighter

The five nominees are the likely Oscar nominees but the acting awards are usually completely different from the Oscars. While I think that Colin Firth is the likely Oscar winner, I am saying Jesse Eisenberg, the "Michael Cera of Drama" will win here. My personal vote would be Ryan Gosling. That man could do no wrong.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Halle Berry for Frankie and Alice

Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole

Jennifer Lawrence for Winter's Bone

Natalie Portman for Black Swan

Michelle Williams for Blue Valentine

Never before has an acting race been so predictable. Either Jennifer Lawrence or Natalie Portman has won virtually every actress award. While Ms. Lawrence's performance was outstanding, Portman lost 20 pounds, learned ballet, and was pitch perfect as a tortured, ballerina slowly losing her mind.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture

Johnny Depp for The Tourist

Johnny Depp for Alice in Wonderland

Paul Giamatti for Barney's Version

Jake Gyllenhaal for Love and Other Drugs

Kevin Spacey for Casino Jack

::bands head against wall:: Here is what I am saying will happen. The Depp nominations will split. No one saw Barney's Version or Casino Jack and Gyllenhaal will end up winning. That or Depp will win for Alice in Wonderland in his umpteenth role as a guy with a funny voice in a big hat.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture

Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right

Anne Hathaway for Love and Other Drugs

Angelina Jolie for The Tourist

Julianne Moore for The Kids Are All Right

Emma Stone for Easy A

This one is a little easier to predict. Bening is a shoe-in. She has nailed down awards acting awards early on before Winter's Bone and Black Swan. I would like see Emma Stone win but she is young and talented and will get hers. Easy A was a fun movie though.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Christian Bale for The Fighter

Michael Douglas for Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Andrew Garfield for The Social Network

Jeremy Renner for The Town

Geoffrey Rush for The King's Speech

Christian Bale. Nuf Said. He is this year's Christophe Waltz or Javier Bardem. What's with supporting actor being so tied up?

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Amy Adams for The Fighter

Helena Bonham Carter for The King's Speech

Mila Kunis for Black Swan

Melissa Leo for The Fighter

Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom

Though Jackie Weaver will most likely win the Oscar, Amy Adams is the likely winner here. In a film filled with great performances, Adams and Leo both stood out. Why not Melissa Leo? The Globes have a soft spot for It girls and not veteran extraordinarily competent actresses.

Best Director - Motion Picture

Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan

David Fincher for The Social Network

Tom Hooper for The King's Speech

Christopher Nolan for Inception

David O. Russell for The Fighter

The likely Oscar winner, Fincher is an accomplished director and his undeniable style and ability to get panicked drama out of his actors helped Social Network achieve much of its glory. I would be surprised if anyone else won though Christopher Nolan is not to be counted out. Though with an effects heavy movie like Inception, the look and style was achieved through a cadre of computer designers with Nolan at the helm. Social Network is all Fincher. Though my vote would have went with Nolan...or Aronofsky.

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

127 Hours (2010)

Inception (2010)

The Kids Are All Right (2010)

The King's Speech (2010)

The Social Network (2010)

I don't like that the Globes do not split screenplay into original and adapted. If so, then Social Network would be my pick for adapted and for original, Inception. The former is my pick. Again, I think there is an equal chance that Nolan could win but I remind you all that TSN was written by Aaron Sorkin, an Emmy winner and 3-time Globe nominee. The HFPA might decide it's time for Sorkin.

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

Nominees:

Burlesque (2010/I): Samuel Dixon, Christina Aguilera, Sia Furler("Bound to You")

Burlesque (2010/I): Diane Warren("You Haven't Seen The Last of Me")

Country Strong (2010): Bob DiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges("Coming Home")

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010): Carrie Underwood, David Hodges, Hillary Lindsey("There's A Place For Us")

Tangled (2010): Alan Menken, Glenn Slater("I See the Light")

oh who the fuck cares. I didn't know Sia wrote a song for Burlesque. I didn't know she needed the money. Her new album We are Born is outstanding. Buy it. Give the globe to the Disney song and let's all jump off a cliff.

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

Nominees:

127 Hours (2010): A.R. Rahman

Alice in Wonderland (2010): Danny Elfman

Inception (2010): Hans Zimmer

The King's Speech (2010): Alexandre Desplat

The Social Network (2010): Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

While I would love to see "Golden Globe Winner" preface Trent Reznor's name, Inception's South Park parodied score will most likely to win. Here is the parody:

Insheeption
Tags: SOUTH
PARK Stan Marsh,Mr. Mackey,more...

Best Animated Film

Nominees:

Despicable Me (2010)

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

The Illusionist (2010)

Tangled (2010)

Toy Story 3 (2010)

Do I even need an explanation here?

Best Foreign Language Film

Biutiful (2010)(Mexico/Spain)

The Concert (2009)(France)

The Edge (2010)(Russia)

I Am Love (2009)(Italy)

In a Better World (2010)(Denmark)

This is another interesting year for the Foreign Language film category. Yes, last year was interesting as well with the race between Mikael Haneke's Die Weisse Band and the Argentinian film, El Secreto De Sus Ojos. What? You never heard of them? Oh. Um...both were very good. Ok. Let's move on. I Am Love was an Italian film starring Tilda Swintom and Biutiful is Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu's (21 grams, Babel) latest film and stars Javier Bardem. Though I Am Love is a likely Oscar winner, the HFPA has shown some major love to Innaritu and even though the film has received mixed reviews, that didn't stop Babel from winning best Drama.

so there ya go. stay tuned for an analysis of the ceremony when i rant about how none of my picks were right and why the globes are shit because of this.

755. Just Like Dr. Strangelove, But Not in the Least

2011-01-06T19:07:00.000-08:00

Or…How I Learned to Keep Being Afraid of the Bomb

In the mid 60’s, the US and Russia were at the brink of nuclear warfare and at any given time, a button could be pressed and missles would be launched resulting in a near annilhation of the Earth and its population. Whether by mistake or by a rogue aircraft, the world in a war in which one bomb destroys a nation is serious business and a major concern and source of fear in America. Surely, a movie that deals with it and its consequences is serious business and a movie starring Walther Matthau and Henry Fonda, two established stars, would result in a hit film and win lots of awards. That is, unless a movie is released within the past year that hilariously lampoons this concept and includes a landmark comedic performance by Peter Sellers.

That movie is of course, Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece Dr. Strangelove (Or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb), which will is much much higher on this list. The movie I am writing of in this entry is Fail Safe, an unfairly overlooked Sidney Lumet film that mirrors the plot of Dr. Strangelove, but deals with the topic of nuclear warfare in a serious fashion. When Fail Safe debuted, despite its superior direction and an excellent turn by Matthau, the movie wasn’t met with the gravity it deserved since Kubrick already made everyone laugh quite hilariously about nuclear war.

Does this mean that Dr. Strangelove never should have been made so that Fail Safe could get take its rightful place in the echelon of film? No. Strangelove was one of the greatest satires ever made and its place in film history is exceptionally important. However, perhaps Fail Safe could’ve gotten its act together and come out a year earlier.

I look at Fail Safe with the same sort of eye I give to superior Atomic age parable films like The Day the Earth Stood Still and The Atomic Café. These are all serious film documents that detail on film the national mood on the subject of atomic war, which paralyzed the nation in fear for the better part of two decades.

Where Lumet took a script (based on a critically acclaimed book) and made it a statement on America’s “worst fear,” Kubrick expressed the sentiment that the nation’s leaders were just as clueless as the populace. Social commentary vs. social satire with the same plot, one could say. Though in Fail Safe, there was certainly fighting in the war room. This movie also proved yet again, that no one does smug like Matthau. Even as the world is being destroyed, he is as cynical and sarcastic as ever and he probably made a warhead in that giant nose of his too.

About the Top 800 Project:

764. Hollywood Shoots Up

2011-01-04T18:31:00.001-08:00

Or... Old Blue Eyes? More like? Old Golden Arm!

I really want to write about something NOT in the English language. So far, all I’ve written about are movies in English. However, there are quite a few foreign films on here and as the list ascends, the anglo-centricism does inevitably die down. However, given that I just wrote about Requiem for a Dream, I want to bookend that with Otto Preminger’s 1955 film, The Man with the Golden Arm. This is not a Bond movie as I thought it was for many years. Instead, it stars Frank Sinatra as a heroin addict living in the ghettos of Chicago. Between bookies and his crippled wife, he can’t escape this toxic environment or kick his habit and the film details his struggle to get clean.

What impressed me most about this movie was how unflinching it was for its time. In the late 1950’s, the only sort of drug oriented films were sensationalist propaganda (we all remember the landmark 1930's "masterpieces" reefer and cocaine madness!). However, unlike the users in those films, Sinatra is not a babbling idiot. He is a man in trouble looking for answers and trying to make his life better. He is tortured and well developed.

Also, unlike those sensationalist films, he is among the most moral characters depicted. There is a clueless cop, but there is also the sinister drug dealer and the emotionally draining wife which lock him into his heroin abuse. Sinatra is stuck in the middle trying to please everyone and continues to fall back to his old habits.

I can understand how this film, despite the omnipresent Hayes Code, whose censorship encased Hollywood for almost 30 years, had to be released. It was a wake-up call that movies were meant to deal with real life subject matter and that the clunky and outdated Hayes Code was holding back subject matter that people wanted and needed to see. Man With a Golden Arm is a great movie and Sinatra is excellent in it but the lasting effect on Hollywood is ultimately it’s most important legacy.

About the Top 800 Project:

635. Muppet Christmas Carol

2010-12-24T16:31:00.000-08:00

or...Never Send a Michael Caine to do a Muppet's Job

This is among my favorite holiday movies and my favorite version of Dicken's classic though horrendously overdone tale of a cranky old guy and his slow trek towards not being a douche. So, what makes this version a Christmas Carol better than the others? It's most likely the Muppets and a little Michael Caine for good measure, but mostly the Muppets.

Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat are great as the narrators. They work with a lot of the original Dickensian text and put a decidedly Muppetatic (I'll make this a word) spin on it. Also, I love Rizzo. This is especially surprising considering the latter of the Muppet's was a recent addition to the cast who aside from Bean have failed miserably at new additions into the Muppet cast (Pepe, need I say more?). Yes, this was probably the last movie the Muppets made before they became relegated to horrible TV movie-style schmaltz and obnoxious featured guests (as seen in the painful exercise of the Muppet Wizard of Oz). This movie was ALMOST ruined by the sappiness for sure. The songs are mostly an exercise in futility though Michael Caine can surprisingly, carry a tune.

This song i kinda like (though there is no Michael Caine singing)

i hate this frickin song. so sappy

Kermit and Piggy are naturals at depicted the Kratchit family and Fozzy was born, well, made to play Fezziwinks (or Fozziwinks). Sometimes, the Muppet roles are forced but in the case of Muppet Christmas Carol, the integrations are seamless. There is heart and some genuine laughs which recent Muppet movies have been devoid of.

My in-law's family watches this every Christmas eve and though I need a break every few years I continually find this a cute and enjoyable film. There aren't many contemporary Christmas movies that I can stand but this one stands out though apparently, I can't think of anything remotely inciteful or interesting to say about it. hmm...um...the ghost of christmas present is funny. he is big and eats a lot. Um...Merry Christmas?

About the Top 800 Project:

778. Requiem for a Dream: An Exercise in Morbidity

2010-12-11T14:18:00.000-08:00

...Or How a “Favorite” Film Can Also Be a Painful, Enjoyable Trial

I don’t know anyone out there who would admit to have “enjoyed” watching Daron Aronofsky’s bleak addiction drama. In fact, one would be hard pressed to find someone who can watch this a second time. However, anyone that has seen it can probably vividly recall it. A film like Requiem teaches us a lesson that sometimes, movies aren’t fun to watch and that is not necessarily a bad thing. If movies are meant to move and make us feel, then we must take the painful with the inspiring.

What impressed me about Requiem was that it unflinchingly covered different types of addiction with the same passive voice. There was Jared Leto and an unrecognizable Marlon Wayans (of White Chicks fame) as heroin addicts, Ellen Burstyn as Leto’s mother, who becomes addicted to pills, and Jennifer Connelly, another drug addict/future prostitute and Leto’s girlfriend. The film covers their downward spiral into their addiction and doesn’t end well for any character.

::SPOILERS::

Leto ends up in a prison hospital with his arm amputated, Wayans ends up in a racist prison for drug possession, Burstyn winds up in a mental hospital getting electroshock therapy, and Connelly is the featured star of an anal sex show.

::SPOILERS::

It is safe to say that none of the characters end up in a terribly good place. All of them begin the film with hopes, dreams, and aspirations, and becoming slaves to their addiction which inevitably leads to their major major downfalls. They attempt to use drugs to achieve their dreams, to sell drugs or sex to open a store, or weight loss and sleeping pills to achieve game show success, and it overpowers them and enslaves the characters.

Requiem is really as dark it comes. The last scene is a fantasy vision of what could be had drugs not entered into their lives and somehow it makes the film even more depressing. That vision conflicted with the harsh and painful reality of their lives makes the tragedy of the character’s downfall even more powerful. In short, the movie ends without even the faintest glimmer of hope or redemption for ANY of the characters. A bum out ending is one thing, though usually there is slight hint that the worst is over for the characters. In Requiem, there is a distinct feeling that things will probably get WORSE for them. Aronofsky basically ends the film at what could be the characters rock bottom but with painful YEARS of ordeals in front of them.

Note: Puppy video included to perk readers up.

I can’t watch this movie again. This is really no way I can ever sit through it. I wanted to turn off the damned thing at a bunch of points throughout but I didn’t. Somehow, I kept watched and while I didn’t enjoy the film in the least, I appreciated it a great deal for its honesty and darkness. I have seen a few films that were more depressing (which will be discussed later on in the list) which also fall into this category and they all deserve special mention. Though by the time Requiem for a Dream ended, all I wanted to do is watch cartoons, cuddle my cats, and ponder if I would want to see Jennifer Connelly in an anal sex show (answer was yes).

About the Top 800 Project:

Using the They Shoot Pictures Starting List of 8800 films (LINK) and my Netflix ratings, I sifted through the list and of the 4500 films I’d seen, I selected a random number of films I liked more than the others. The list was about 812 films. I kicked off 12 to get an even 800. The list chronologically goes up to 2009. Each blog entry will list ten films, one of which will be discussed in detail. The ten films will then be posted to The Top 800 Master List, a Google docs file compiling them. When the countdown finishes in what will be probably be a really a long time, I will begin discussing random films that I didn’t get to before.

788. Two Lovers and the Strange Journey of Joaquin Phoenix

2010-12-09T19:06:00.000-08:00

...Or How to Sabotage Your Own Film

This is a tough ten in which to choose one to discuss. There are two excellent documentaries (Dieter and Control Room), some great golden age screwball comedies (Ruggles and Major), a twisted classic (Freaks), and a VERY nerdy-emphasis –on-science-science fiction flick (Cube) to name just a couple. Though for today, I am going to focus on Two Lovers, a forgotten and unfairly overlooked film from last year.

Perhaps things would have gone better for this understated drama if the star hadn’t sabotaged the opening. Starring Joaquin Phoenix, it was during the press tour for Two Lovers that he began his “career transition” to aspiring rapper. Showing up on Letterman incoherent and with a giant beard, the film took a backseat to the filming of what would become key plot points in I’m Still Here, Casey Affleck’s worthy directorial effort in the genre of gonzo filmmaking. Though without a doubt, I approve of the satirical nature of I’m Still Here, I wished he instead would have done this during press for the bland Departed knock-off “We Own the Night.”

The plot of Two Lovers is pretty simple. Phoenix plays a man recovering from a major mental breakdown and is slowly beginning to date and become a functioning member of society. He is in the midst of falling for a plain, though stable girl, when he meets Gwyneth Paltrow, a mysterious ingénue with a similarly dark past. She is a whole basket of crazy and poor Phoenix doesn’t know happened as he falls in love with her. Their story progresses, things happen, and resolve somberly though faint rays hope, as all good indies do. It’s a pretty simple story but one of the best character studies over the past couple years.

I am not a Gwyneth Paltrow fan. I consider her Sylvia Plath biopic (creatively called Sylvia— ::begin rant:: enough with the biopics that only use the characters first name as a title! I am waiting for a Hitler biopic simply called Adolf. I get the simplicity but at this point, it’s horribly clichéd. Enough! ::end rant::) to be a cinematic crime, and I’m not even a Plath fan. Though in Two Lovers, she brings her Royal Tanenbaums-best. She even received an Independent Spirit Award nom for her efforts and the film itself garnered a few nominations for film and direction. Phoenix also delivers out an amazingly understated yet emotionally powerful performance. It begs the question of why, if he was so good, would he chose to completely wreck the integrity of the picture by having an emotional breakdown (albeit, a fake one) during the press tour?

He became the story and press focus rather than the film itself which it too bad. The indie film loving audience was scared away from seeing the film in theatres and it disappeared without a trace and only finally received some positive word of mouth when the ISA nominations came out. Still, Two Lovers is back to being an underappreciated, obscure film and given that I’m Still Here underwhelmed, I wonder what the fate of the film would be had I’m Still Here not been a factor.

781-790

781 Ruggles of Red Gap LeoMcCarey

782 I Was a Male War Bride Howard Hawks

783 Cube

784 Angel Face Otto Preminger

785 Little Dieter Needs to Fly Werner Herzog

786 Freaks Todd Browning

787 Traffic [2000] Steven Soderbergh

788 Two Lovers James Gray

789 The Major and the Minor Billy Wilder

790 Control Room

About the Top 800 Project:

Using the They Shoot Pictures Starting List of 7700 films (LINK) and my Netflix ratings, I sifted through the list and of the 4500 films I’d seen, I selected a random number of films I liked more than the others. The list was about 812 films. I kicked off 12 to get an even 800. The list chronologically goes up to 2009. Each blog entry will list ten films, one of which will be discussed in detail. The ten films will then be posted to HERE, a Google docs file compiling them. When the countdown finishes in what will be probably be a really a long time, I will begin discussing random films that I didn’t get to before.

Tremors and the Subtle Art of the Horror Comedy

2010-12-07T16:53:00.000-08:00

...or How a Movie About Giant Slugs Erupting form the Ground and Eating People Can Ever Be Considered Subtle

Tremors is a silly silly film. No one is going to argue that the premise is silly, the dialogue is silly, and the acting is even sillier. You can practically see the tongue in Kevin Bacon’s cheek throughout the course of the movie. In fact, Tremors is knowingly terrible. So why is this one of my favorite movies of all time if it’s so bad? Simple. It’s a benchmark in one of the most difficult film genres to pull off in existence, the horror comedy.

This oft underappreciated and under-grossing style is pretty rare given the number of both horror and comedy films that are released into theatres into every year. The ones that do get released often underperform and either find a cult following on video, like Tremors, or get lost to the ages, like Eight Legged Freaks. There is something inherently difficult about making death, gore, and mutilation funny and even harder to connect with an audience wanting to see it. The keys are to up the fantastical elements of the story, downplay the abject terror of the situation in itself, and to be careful of who to kill off. In all of these aspects, Tremors succeeds.

In a nutshell, the plot concerns a small town in the South in which giant underground snake/slug-like monsters invade the town and begin eating random citizens. The survivors who don’t get eaten take to the roofs to escape them and 90 minutes of slug shooting and perilious journeys to the ground ensue.

Tremors is basically Snakes on a Plane years prior to the blogosphere and when distilled down, both movies have a similar premise – giant slithery things trapping a motley group of colorful characters in a centralized location. The narrative order on these two films are practically! I rewatched Tremors recently and could practically hear Kevin Bacon yelling about he was getting pretty fucking tired about of all these motherfucking slugs in motherfucking small Southern town (note: If I continued my list farther, Snakes on a Plane would undoubtedly make an appearance).

Both films play on broad stereotypes. In Tremors, it was in the form of Michael Gross (the dad on Family Ties) and Reba McIntire (Reba on Reba) who play a couple of gun loving Southern people who just want to shoot the damned things. Between their trigger happy antics and Kevin Bacon pole vaulting from one house to another, the premise settles in nicely between sillier than silly dialogue, generally likeable characters that are fun to watch, and often humourous / horrific deaths of people getting eaten by giant Earthworms.

We can ignore the countless sequels that can be viewed on SyFy on any random weekend—when the “writers” of the movies kept trying to top the efforts of the previous film. Tremors on its own is a masterpiece of comic horror glory; a completely ridiculous effort that is a continual joy to behold. It also contains a lot of useful information to survive when the giant worms take back the Earth.

Here is the google docs link to the first ten films: #791-800

Welcome Back Blogger - Have some Chaplin

2010-11-22T12:51:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to think of an adequate topic in which to resurrect my blog. I tired myself out in the process of writing my 'Favorite Films of the Aught's' series and wanted to get back to just writing about misc movies. With the release of Criterion's 'Modern Times' on blu-ray, I feel like I've a found a suitable topic to do this.

Released in 1936, Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times was a “silent” film in a time where sound films had completely taken over theaters. The film is a powerful socialism fueled comedy with healthy doses of pathos, slapstick, politicizing, and romance. In what Chaplin envisioned to be his final adventure with his “Tramp” character, we find that indelible man working in a factory at the film's onset. In this blog entry, I will discuss the factory scenes only.

In a set that echoes the great dystopian factories of Lang's Metropolis and Clair's A Nous a Liberte (more on this film and the controversy with Modern Times later), we see large grizzled workers pulling knobs and turning levers. Instructions are broadcasted from an angry be suited man in an office via a large video screen. During this part of the film is most of the dialogue is spoken and given the futurist setting, this is apt.

We see the Tramp, one or two feet shorter than the other workers, mindlessly using a couple wrenches to turn two screws on a random piece of machinery on a neverending assembly line. He often gets distracted, misses a few pieces, and then has to scramble to catch up. As always, Chaplin's amazing ability to perform natural slapstick is clever and humorous. The man next to him on the assembly line clearly isn't happy with the tramps performance and takes his job very seriously whereas the Tramp realizes the ridiculousness of the scenario.

Chaplin invented the tramp in the mid 1910's and described him as a free thinker and sophisticated gentlemen, despite his clownish appearance. His cane is his only piece of his normal wardrobe that suggests his “nobility” and in the factory, there is no cane or usual bowler hat. His factory attire is black pants a white shirt, similar to the other workers though his costume is markedly baggier than that of his more burly coworkers. In all of the factory exploits, the point is driven home that Chaplin does not belong in this world and serves as a nuisance to those who do.

In a particularly amusing sequence of factory dystopia, a man arrives with a machine to feed employees while they work. The machine drives up to the worker and via a series of bulky levers and inaccurate movements shoves food into the faces of the workers thus allowing them to remain on the station. Yeah, it doesn't work. In fact, it malfunctions and Chaplin ends up with food all his face and clothing. Again, the “suits” get angry with Chaplin himself rather the ridiculous machine.

Though anyone who sees any pictures from or the cover art to Modern Times DVD cover notices Chaplin in the gears of the machine spinning around. While helping an engineer fix machines he gets caught in the gears and embarks on a daft journey spinning around a seemingly never ending series of gears and circuits. Surely this sort of machine would have crushed a normal man and even the normally unflappable Tramp looks panicked. Through his multiple experiences in the gears compounded with the other various machines, he cracks, grabs his wrenches and begins a whimsical dance around the factory turning any two things that look like screws; nipples, mustaches, it's all fair game. The factory becomes a dance and the workers an elaborate set, making this place a bastion of art.

What I love about the factory of Modern Times is the scathing indictment of the this culture. This is a time in society after the robber barons where workers were beginning to develop rights and unions were transforming the work spectrum. Still, many workers were forced to thrive in these mundane and repetitive jobs. Lunch machines probably weren't so far off from ideal, as many bosses did want their workers to be robots. Even the workers themselves seem to have no repoire with each other suggesting more robotic sentiments.

Throughout the film, there are sly signs of worker unrest, the most notable being when the tramp inadvertently becomes the leader of a workers rights protest. Worker unrest is a timeless theme and there will always be conflict between worker-boss. Especially in this economic climate the idea of scaring a worker into dutifully remaining placid on the job is especially relevant.

Earlier in the post, I mentioned 'A Nous A Liberte,' a 1931 film by french director Rene Clair. Modern Times at points is remarkably similar to this film, especially during Chaplin's gear adventures. During the time, Chaplin swore up and down he had never seen the film though later in life, he back-peddled a bit and reportedly even said that Claire's film was better. I've seen both and while the Clair film is a classic in its own right, Modern Times is far superior and a lot funnier. Chaplin probably did steal ideas from Clair, but he improved on them immensely. I personally find Liberte a bit boring, mostly unfunny, and while that film is factory-centric, Modern Times really becomes a masterpiece in the second half with the integration of an incredibly sweet and inspiring love story. Conveniently, on the DVD, there is a nice little featureless on this.

Modern Times is unquestionably a masterpiece and a fitting retirement for the Tramp. At the close of the film, during his usual walk down the road into the sunset away from society, he finds a mate and presumably, will go and continue to make his way. What I love most about the Tramp is his spirit and his indelible optimism despite living a world not designed for him. Despite his poverty and continual rejection from society, he remains cheerful and hopeful as he literally walks down the road of life.

Modern Times is currently out on DVD via the Criterion Collection on standard and blu-ray. BUY

Quick Sidetrip into Songwriting...

2010-06-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

ok, this is not in usual MO on this here bloggey blog but i feel like posting it anyway. back story: about 5 years ago, i watched francois truffaut's landmark film, Jules et Jim and was BLOWN AWAY by the story and particularly the pacing. the film went from breakneck speed-->slow crawl-->breakneck speed all in the course of two hours. i love the idealism and the emotion in the film and its continued to amaze upon repeat viewings.

when i first saw the movie, i felt the need to write a song about it. over the course of 4 or 5 years, ive been gradually adding to this song and i finally completed it. i include the lyrics here with the disclaimer that this isnt based on a true story perse. its based on the feeling of an uncontrollable love spiraling out of control but doing so in a emotionally gratifying way. the movie and the song is about a love that was not meant to exist but somehow survived, perservered, evolved, and died in the most unlikely means necessary.

in case youre wondering what the sounds like, picture ben folds five. oh yeah, i do have a band. we are called Pleasant Sweaters (click here for our website) You can download our debut EP for FREE by going HERE

jules et jim

intro
this is the story of jules and jim
and a tale of a love that was yet to begin
skipped on the church and went straight to the sin
just like me and you and him

verse
they fell in love with a mystery girl
whose name was catherine
she wasnt that pretty or even sincere
in fact she was always severe
but that didnt stop them from falling in love
and forming a band of three
after the war jules had catherines baby
and so the three men then lived
as commune of four and then three
when jim felt he had to leave
catherine loved one and then loved the other
switching seamlessly

chorus
but as sure as the trains run from london to paris
theres was a love beautiful and tragic
moving through life at a breakneck speed
so when jules and jim

bridge
now im not henri senne
and youre not jeanne moreau
were not being directed
by francois truffaut
but i see us in a car
heading towards a cliff
and down
down
down
we
go

but as sure as the trains run from london to paris* [*or cardiff]
ours is a love beautiful and tragic
moving through life at a breakneck speed
so go you and me

MURDER! CRIME! MYSTERY! an entire day of american film noir!

2010-05-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

american film noir of the 40s and 50s is one of my favorite genres of film. everyone wears suits, derbys, and there is always a murder most foul or a heist to full off. these are great movies to flip on and get lost in an america that is long gone. TCM and FXM recently show six classic film noirs i have never seen and were all included on they shoot pictures list of top 250 film noirs ever made. i am going to watch all of them and blog it.

the first thing on the bill for today is 'the street with no name,' a 1948 fox production starring noir stalwarts mark stevens and richard widmark. the sheer appearance of richard widmark in anything is going to make for an interesting film. he is apparently a bad guy in this one and sees like he is in kiss me deadly mode. this is one of those, 'ripped from the pages' films with a lot of vocal narration over the first part of the film and a note indicating its real nature. much like phenix city story and kansas city confidential, these films pride themselves on a set up of lots of names and intercut scenes of police work. the feel is to make it like a newsreel eventually leading into the action of the plot. in terms of film noir, im really not a fan of these types of real life noir. the editing is a bit too jumpy and the dizzying amount of names, faces, details, makes the plot profoundly difficult for long periods of time. with this in particular, i have faith in william kneighly as a director (his film pandora and the flying dutchman is a masterpiece) and his directorial style is valliant but in the end, this is a sub-par noir. finally, widmark comes into the scene. he could have been bogart if he had the right agent. he commanded the screen like few did. he makes a medicore film worth watching. as i watch this, he slapped a woman a couple times. widmark did clearly girl slapping well though the best use of physical abuse towards in a film noir still belongs to pick-up on south street. ***** ****** sure did know how to take a slap right to the kisser. actually, i changed my mind, this is a pretty decent film. gotta love widmark

next up; richard thorpe's the unknown man with walter pidgeon and ann harding. the movie begins with a first person narration introducing you to the plot. its about a attorney that may have acquited a murderer. gettin' excited. i like the feel of this one. this one clearly has a low budget and the direction is decidedly lazy. while thorpe was a capable director, he clearly is "less than meets the eye." when it comes to noir, siodmak, fuller, and ulmer all had their distinct styles but a lot of noir directors had a very similar mise en scene. at least the lighting and shadows in the unknown man is quite well done. there was just a great OH SNAP moment...where the killer reveals himself by including a detail where only the killer and the lawyer would have known. and now he ended up dead. oooooh!

Scandal Sheet, directed by phil karlson and written by sam fuller. yup, right off the bat, this off has the gritty dialogue of fuller. there is a newspaper editor who has been implicated in a murder and the paper's star reporter investigates. this one also stars donna reed (who was a huge star even before her eponymous show) and broderick crawford fresh off his brilliant performance in all the king's men. there is a really great pivotal scene that takes place in a lonely hearts club, which were places where single people went to find spouses. for some reason, this seemed like a good idea...to force lonely people to meet other lonely people and one couple is given a free wedding at the end of the dance. yes, i firmly believe true love can form at a forced social event over the course of a few hours. -- fast forward an hour. i realize ive seen this movie before. sometimes when one watches a dizzying amount of the same kind of movie, the names escape me. however, it was the looming and panicked performance of broderick crawford that jogged my memory. i cant help but remember now how different this performance was from all the kings men. also, i remember john derek's great nice acting.

ok, halftime. quick bikeride out to go to whole foods, pick up some yogurt and kombucha. head over to the north andover sheep sheering festival, get locked out of my house, kick in third kitchen window dangling from drainpipe and climb into the house.

RIGHT.

the fourth film of the day is eyes in the night, a film about a blind detective. so far there is ann harding (again), donna reed (again!), and a dog (named friday). its directed by fred zinnamin who would late achieve huge success with from here to eternity and a man for all seasons (and some would say a nuns story as well). this is exceptionally low budget and the camera work is excessively shocking and lazy. this guy would win an oscar? these pans are attrocious and even for a noir, the acting is pretty bad. lets see how it progresses. until im going to go back to drinking kombucha. i just did some quick research and this was only his second or third full length film. before this, he was mainly doing hokey shorts in the "crime does not pay" series. he made a decent noir some years later with act of violence but eyes in the night is clearly a director who hadnt hit his stride. also, the dog is the best actor in this by far. he opened a door handle with his mouth. WIN

penutlimate film in this marathon! its armored car robbery and clocking in at a tight 65 minutes, one of the shortest full length features ill ever watch. so far, this movie RULES. four guys rob an armored car (DUH) and a chase ensues. this has everything so far, a car non starting and tension ensuing. a perfect plan slowly unravelling and a host of a bush league actors from the 40s and 50s (charles macgraw!). directed oddly enough by richard fleischer, who went onto direct such shlocky and largely medicore big budgeters fantastic voyage and doctor doolittle, the filmmaking is very capable. maybe he should have stuck with noir, as his follow up to this, the narrow margin, is a great movie. yeah, cool flick.

LAST ONE! DESTINATION MURDER! ok, this was a crazy idea in retrospect. every actor is starting to look the same. so far today, ive seen a million white dude in hats and suits, a few choice dames, one black person, and one dog (who had a bigger role than said black person). im a big fan of this genre but it definitely does remind you how far cinema has come in terms of integration of not just white people. alright, nevermind that. we got the usual stuff. murder, off to a cop to find the killer on barely any clues. meh. im going to post this and try to live with the fact that i watched six film noirs today.

The Lyrical and Meditative Films of two 21st Century Masters

2010-04-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

Looking over significant films of the 21 century on They Shoot Pictures, East Asia makes a prominent showing. While Japanese cinema has been internationally admired since the 1950's, the works of other East Asian nations have not caught on until recently.

Looking over significant works of recent history, names like Wong Kar Wei, Zhang Yimou, Jia Zhangke, Ming Liang Tsai and Apichatpong Weerasethakul are common. The last two of these directors will be the focus on this blog. For ease and my own sanity, I will refer to Apichatpong Weerasethakul as Fred (I'm not the first to call him this).

The films of Fred and Tsai have a great deal of common elements and represent a movement of hyper realism in terms of characters and mise en scene. however, both of their films contain supernatural or fantastical elements that gives their films an ethereal film.

In the film "What Time is it There?" a brief encounter between a woman and a man selling watches in Taiwan spurns a mysterious connection. The two of them have parallel experiences while he is in Taiwan and she is in Paris.

What is most fascinating about film is the juxtaposition of the two films. First, the woman goes to Paris in the winter and for a large portion of the film, is tucked into tight, claustrophobic, and bleak places not indicative of the city of lights. At the end of the film are scenes finally shot in Luxembourg and the Paris of lore comes alive. Though the garden is cold and the crowd is sparse.

While in Taiwan, the man continues to sell watches, deals with a mother who cannot her husband's death, and takes an interest in french culture. In fact, through most of the film, the man is seen doing more Parisian things than the woman. Also, the colors of the Taiwan scenes feature more vibrant reds and colors than those shot in Paris.

In one of my favorite juxtapositions of the film, the man watches Francois Truffaut's seminal film The 400 Blows starring Jean Pierre Leaud. Meanwhile in Paris, the woman encounters the real Jean Pierre in an inspired cameo.

The film is purposely disjointed and almost entirely free of dialogue which is a common theme in many of Tsai's films.

Apichatpong Weerasethakul (pronounced ah-pah-chee-ta-pong weere-ah set-ah-cuhl) aka Fred's films are similar to Tsai. Looking at his film, Tropical Malady, one sees symbolism of love, frustration, happiness, and a confusing disjointed vision of man's struggle against himself.

The first hour of the film is a love story between two men in Thailand. It is sweet and the story is fairly linnear. With not enough of words, the love develops and then, one of the men disappear into the forest and the other one goes in to find him.

What follows in the next hour is a man's battle with a mysterious naked man which I take to represent love and the carnal duality of emotions buried within men. The theme of men as beasts was clearly delinneated in the early portions of the film in dialogue. The beast literally comes to life in the final frames in the form of a glowing tiger speaking in a strange tongue.

The battles in the forest could also be taken as allegorical referring to Jacob wrestling with the angel. The fight of Jacob symbolizes wrestling with his feelings about the lord and his own personal faith. Given that love is a leap of faith, I think this could be a logical point.

These are just two films by these great auteurs and are absolutely necessary watching for those who want to delve into the great of the 21st century. Yes, they are slow and many will consider them boring but like many of the movies I discuss on this blog should not be watched to escape or to enjoy but to experience in the same way that one views modern abstract art.

Oscar Picks

2010-03-05T11:47:00.000-08:00

Best Documentary, Features

Burma VJ: Reporter i et lukket land (2008): Anders Østergaard, Lise Lense-Møller

The Cove (2009): Louie Psihoyos, Fisher Stevens

Food, Inc. (2008): Robert Kenner, Elise Pearlstein

The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers (2009): Judith Ehrlich, Rick Goldsmith

Which Way Home (2009): Rebecca Cammisa

some good choices here and The Cove is the front-runner but momentum has been building for Food Inc. I think Oscar may indeed give Food a thought! (har har har har). seriously i think the cove is going to win

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

Ajami (2009)(Israel)

Das weisse Band - Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte (2009)(Germany)

El secreto de sus ojos (2009)(Argentina)

Un prophète (2009)(France)

La teta asustada (2009)(Peru)

White Band (Das Weisse Band). Hands down. Un Prophete has a shot but Haneke is a pretty respected name in International Cinema.

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

Coraline (2009): Henry Selick

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009): Wes Anderson

The Princess and the Frog (2009): John Musker, Ron Clements

The Secret of Kells (2009): Tomm Moore

Up (2009): Pete Docter

Up is a lock. It sort of has to win, right? it was nominated for best picture and there were no other animated films in there so it has to win, right?

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing

Best Achievement in Art Direction

Best Achievement in Cinematography

not going to list all the nominees, Avatar is going to win all of these.

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

Crazy Heart (2009): T-Bone Burnett, Ryan Bingham("The Weary Kind")

Faubourg 36 (2008): Reinhardt Wagner, Frank Thomas("Loin de Paname")

Nine (2009): Maury Yeston("Take It All")

The Princess and the Frog (2009): Randy Newman("Almost There")

The Princess and the Frog (2009): Randy Newman("Down in New Orleans")

what a disappointing list. karen o should be in here for 'all is love' meh. give it to the crazy heart song.

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

Avatar (2009): James Horner

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009): Alexandre Desplat

The Hurt Locker (2008): Marco Beltrami, Buck Sanders

Sherlock Holmes (2009): Hans Zimmer

Up (2009): Michael Giacchino

this is actually an interesting race. this could go to either Up or Avatar. the latter would have been amazing without any music at all so i'm going to say Up on this one.

Best Achievement in Makeup

Il divo (2008): Aldo Signoretti, Vittorio Sodano

Star Trek (2009): Barney Burman, Mindy Hall, Joel Harlow

The Young Victoria (2009): John Henry Gordon, Jenny Shircore

give this one to the green women of star trek.

Best Achievement in Costume Design

Bright Star (2009): Janet Patterson

Coco avant Chanel (2009): Catherine Leterrier

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009): Monique Prudhomme

Nine (2009): Colleen Atwood

The Young Victoria (2009): Sandy Powel

normally this category defaults to the period piece but we have TWO of them! AND a movie about coco chanel. ok, here is what i think will happen, young victoria and bright star will split the corset vote and coco before chanel will win. personally, i would like to see imaginarium take it. those costumes were all amazing. that or the young victoria will just win outright.

Best Achievement in Editing

Avatar (2009): Stephen E. Rivkin, John Refoua, James Cameron

District 9 (2009): Julian Clarke

The Hurt Locker (2008): Bob Murawski, Chris Innis

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Sally Menke

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009): Joe Klotz

i want to default to avatar here but im not so sure. you see, best editing has been predictative of best picture now for the better of ten years. since i really dont think avatar is going to win best picture, i am going to say hurt locker. that film relied very heavily on editing to get its message across

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

District 9 (2009): Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell

An Education (2009): Nick Hornby

In the Loop (2009): Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009): Geoffrey Fletcher

Up in the Air (2009/I): Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner

Up in the Air is a lock...despite the persistent commercials for american airlines, hertz, and hilton hotels throughout. seriously, it just got ridiculous after a certain point. my personal vote would have been In the Loop or An Education.

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

The Hurt Locker (2008): Mark Boal

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Quentin Tarantino

The Messenger (2009/I): Alessandro Camon, Oren Moverman

A Serious Man (2009): Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Up (2009): Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Thomas McCarthy

this is tough to call. its between hurt locker and basterds. given tarantino's universal love in the academy, i am going to lean towards the basterds but a hurt locker win would not surprise me

Best Achievement in Directing

Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker (2008)

James Cameron for Avatar (2009)

Lee Daniels for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Jason Reitman for Up in the Air (2009/I)

Quentin Tarantino for Inglourious Basterds (2009)

This is another really really interesting race. there hasnt been a race between ex-husband and ex-wife before and its libel to be very close. i am going to predict biglow but would not be suprised if cameron won.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Mo'Nique for the boys and Waltz for the boys. no contest.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side (2009)

Helen Mirren for The Last Station (2009)

Carey Mulligan for An Education (2009)

Gabourey Sidibe for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Meryl Streep for Julie & Julia (2009)

this is the only interesting race in the acting category because the only one who doesnt have a shot in helen mirren. i dont think sandra bullock is going to win and sadly, i dont think mulligan is either. sidibe has a chance as a dark horse spoiler but when its all said and done, i think meryl streep will be taking home her first oscar since 1983! yeah, she has been nominated 11 times without a win! and the one she may get it for is a glorified dan ackroyd as julia child impression from SNL

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart (2009)

George Clooney for Up in the Air (2009/I)

Colin Firth for A Single Man (2009)

Morgan Freeman for Invictus (2009)

Jeremy Renner for The Hurt Locker (2008)

Personally, i would love to see colin firth win but bridges is the likely winner and sentimental favorite. everyone knows he shouldve been nominated and won the oscar for big lebowski but he most likely will get it here. sorry george clooney.

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Avatar (2009): James Cameron, Jon Landau

The Blind Side (2009): Gil Netter, Andrew A. Kosove, Broderick Johnson

District 9 (2009): Peter Jackson, Carolynne Cunningham

An Education (2009): Finola Dwyer, Amanda Posey

The Hurt Locker (2008): Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal, Nicolas Chartier, Greg Shapiro

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Lawrence Bender

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009): Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness, Gary Magness

A Serious Man (2009): Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Up (2009): Jonas Rivera

Up in the Air (2009/I): Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman, Jason Reitman

ten nominees! WOW! basically, this is a 3 movie race. there is avatar, which i really really dont think will win. there is the hurt locker, which i think will win. and then there is inglorious basterds who people seem to think will win. but yeah, everything else are also rans and im kinda surprised that the hangover and star trek didnt make it in and the blind side did. hmm. oh well, last year i was 73%. lets see if i do better this year

like my IFC post, this blog was not proofread and likely contains a lot of missing words

Independent Spirit Awards Picks

2010-03-05T08:24:00.000-08:00

i love the spirit awards for all the reasons IFC wants me to like them. it is an awards show that attempts not to take itself seriously but nominates people and films that the oscars pass by. usually though, the winners are oscar films but quirky comedies that dont have a shot of winning best picture but are a lock for best screenplay (sideways, little miss sunshine, etc). ive seen most of these films so ill give you picks and some commentary

Best Documentary

Anvil! The Story of Anvil (2008)

Food, Inc. (2008)

More Than a Game (2008)

October Country (2009)

Which Way Home (2009)

I've seen four of these (october country...not yet). i am leaning towards Food, Inc. because it did cause some amazing discussion and social change though Anvil! was beloved by all. Still, I'm thinking Food has this one.

Best Foreign Film

An Education (2009)

Maria Larssons eviga ögonblick (2008)

Madeo (2009)

La nana (2009)

Un prophète (2009)

I've seen three of these and my guess is going to be the one I haven't seen yet, Un Prophete. British films like An Education have notoriously difficult shots at Best Foreign Film because while technically, it's foreign, there aren't subtitles.

Best First Feature

Crazy Heart (2009)

Easier with Practice (2009)

The Messenger (2009/I)

Paranormal Activity (2007)

A Single Man (2009)

I can tell you who is NOT going to win this: Paranormal Activity. It was good but too many people are comparing it to Blair Witch which means the ghastly after effects of all involved sliding back into obscurity. A Single Man was outstandingly shot and overlooked. Tom Ford used his remarkable his photographic eye for one of the most uniquely shots debuts in a while. There's your winner

Best Cinematography

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (2009): Peter Zeitlinger

Cold Souls (2009): Andrij Parekh

A Serious Man (2009): Roger Deakins

Sin nombre (2009): Adriano Goldman

Treeless Mountain (2008): Anne Misaw

I've seen all of these and I can't decide whether I liked Sin Nombre or Cold Souls more in terms of cinematography. In Souls, the stark sterility of the appearance in the Soul and the Soul Extractor were essential to a successful film and Sin Nombre was a wonderful trip through downtrodden Mexico. Also, Treeless Mountain was stark and had some lovely sunsets. On the other hand, A Serious Man is the Coen Brothers. Yeah, I'm going with that one.

Best First Screenplay

Amreeka (2009): Cherien Dabis

Cold Souls (2009): Sophie Barthes

Crazy Heart (2009): Scott Cooper

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009): Geoffrey Fletcher

A Single Man (2009): Tom Ford, David Scearce

This is a tough category too. Amreeka was brilliantly written and took a tough subject matter (Palestinian immigrants trying to set up a new life in the US) and made it sad, poignant, and funny at times. On the other hand, Precious was popular but did receive a lot of backlash after the initial fawning. Cold Souls was brilliantly clever but was a bit reminscient of Eternal Sunshine. Crazy Heart was good but I didn't was as emotional as it could have been. Right, I'm saying a Single Man on this one too but Amreeka might take it.

Best Screenplay

(500) Days of Summer (2009): Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber

Adventureland (2009): Greg Mottola

The Messenger (2009/I): Alessandro Camon, Oren Moverman

The Last Station (2009): Michael Hoffman

The Vicious Kind (2009): Lee Toland Krieger

(500) Days is a lock. Adventureland could upset but I highly doubt it.

Best Director

Ethan Coen, Joel Coen for A Serious Man (2009)

Lee Daniels for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Cary Fukunaga for Sin nombre (2009)

James Gray for Two Lovers (2008)

Michael Hoffman for The Last Station (2009)

If there is something better the Coen Brothers, it's underappreciated Coen Brothers. This one is pretty much a lock too though I was very impressed by the direction in Sin Nombre and Two Lovers, the latter of which was one of the most pleasant film suprises of recent years for me. Still, Coens.

Best Supporting Male

Jemaine Clement for Gentlemen Broncos (2009)

Woody Harrelson for The Messenger (2009/I)

Christian McKay for Me and Orson Welles (2008)

Ray McKinnon for That Evening Sun (2009)

Christopher Plummer for The Last Station (2009)

While the idea of Clement winning makes me very very happy (he sang Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor!) Woody Harrelson is a lock and probably would be a strong candidate for the Oscar if Christophe Waltz didn't give one of the most memorable performances in history.

Best Supporting Female

Mo'Nique for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Dina Korzun for Cold Souls (2009)

Samantha Morton for The Messenger (2009/I)

Natalie Press for Fifty Dead Men Walking (2008)

Mia Wasikowska for That Evening Sun (2009)

Mo'Nique is going to win the Oscar and should. She is also going to win the Spirit award and should. Though I did think Samantha Morton was excellent. Of course, she is always excellent. Weep not for Mia Wasikowska, she plays the lead in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland so she will be ok.

Best Male Lead

Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart (2009)

Colin Firth for A Single Man (2009)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt for (500) Days of Summer (2009)

Souleymane Sy Savane for Goodbye Solo (2008)

Adam Scott for The Vicious Kind (2009)

This is a tough one. Bridges is the sentimental favorite and the likely Oscar winner but Firth and Levitt have strong shots at this. I am going to say Bridges but I think that this race is fairly close

Best Female Lead

Maria Bello for Downloading Nancy (2008)

Nisreen Faour for Amreeka (2009)

Helen Mirren for The Last Station (2009)

Gwyneth Paltrow for Two Lovers (2008)

Gabourey Sidibe for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Precious is going to win but I protest this. I thought Maria Bello was amazing and I'm wondering how the hell Tilda Swinton was snubbed for Julia. Sidibe was good but strictly ordinary and her performance did not have the same sort of emotional punch that Mo'Nique had.

Best Feature

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

Amreeka (2009)

The Last Station (2009)

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Sin nombre (2009)

I would like to see Sin Nombre or Amreeka win because I really liked them a lot. Precious has a small chance but I think that (500) Days of Summer, a movie beloved by all and starring poster children of indie films will win.

i didnt proofread this blog entry so im sorry if there are a shit ton of words missing. i type stream of conciousness and leave out words frequently.

My Year in Lists or Lizstomania!

2010-02-16T17:24:00.000-08:00

When did people start fanatically keeping lists? When did everyone on an internet website start posting their favorite things divided into logical progressions? Why are we a nation that lives and dies with the list?

When I do my faily wander over to the IMBD, I check out the Top 250. In fact, it was this list that started my fascination with films. When I finished watching all the films on it, I moved on to the decade lists and watched all those. Then I began the search for more and more lists of films to dissect and conquer. As I continued to seek other critics lists of films, I realized that I was not alone in my love of lists and that there were entire websites devoted to cataloging. Most notable, there was www.listsofbests.com, a site entirely dedicated to people posting lists (their own or user-created) and completing them. I signed on and began searching for more lists to complete.

For me personally, the discovery of a good list is exciting. It is something that I can accomplish and it gives me satisfaction to tick movies off the list one by one. On my computer I have spreadsheets of my lists in progress and I love seeing a rare movie on TV or newly released on video so I can delete that particular column.

The main one I am working one, the list by which all other lists are judged is of course the 'They Shoot Pictures, Don't They?' Top 1000 films of all time. This isn't JUST a film list, it is THE film list by which all others are fed into. In a simple spreadsheet I have the definitive list of the 1000 movies to watch that encompass the greatest films ever made. They are grouped into Netflix availability and then by length. As an aside, since I am have long since seen all the TSPDT films on Netflix, I opened up a Facets (www.facets.org) subscription to help me with the import and out of print discs.

(I tried to paste in a photo of my spreadsheet but I suck at blogging.)

The problem is that I have been at work on this list for so long that I only have about 8% of it left to see even after the Facets films have been factored in, all of which are unavailable on DVD in the US to rent. If I had the money, I would find a region 155 copy of Ousmane Sembene's Ceddo just to tick it off but since I'm not that obsessed, it will have to remain marked as "Unconsumed" on the lists the bests website. Though as this list wains, I have to start other ones that aren't as fun like the New York Times Top 1000 films of all time list.

I have been working on this one strongly for about a year and it is without question, the dumbest and most insipid film canon I have ever encountered (worse than totalfilm!). Yet, since I have committed to finishing the list, I have forced myself to sit through dated 80's/90's thrillers like One False Move, River's Edge, and Internal Affairs. Granted, there were at least a couple gems on there like Claude Chabrol's La Ceremonie and photo-journalist Ray Ashley and Morris Engel's The Little Fugitive, but this list is filled with drivel and movies so bad that one wonders if this list is a giant inside joke to the writer and his friends (Trip to Bountiful...really?).

I am wasting enough hours just so that I can take these films off my list and move on to the next canon. Perhaps the reason I, and society, love the list so far much it presents a clear starting and finishing point. What in our lives are ever that clear cut? Death is a clear end point. Birth is a starting point. Actually, sex has both of those endpoints.

So, am I saying that internet nerds use lists to make up for their lack of a sex life? Hmm. I did not intend on raising this point when i started lazily writing this blog entry an hour ago.

Sex replacement or not, the list shouldn't be seen as a definitive set in stone example of 'THIS IS GOOD' but a nice place to begin a journey. Thanks to the IMBD and TSPDT, I've experienced some amazing films and am better for it. Those lists led me into film corridors I never would have encountered without that initial recommendation.

A highlight of any year is the year end best of lists that start to pop up in every publication known to man. For this blog title, I referenced two of my favorite 'list' oriented songs in the title. OK, so the Phoenix track is based on a classical composer but still... Also, I embedded the hysterically accurate 'Brat Pack Mash Up' of the video which is genius.

Crazy Bitches of Asian Horror Films

2010-02-13T17:09:00.000-08:00

ive always been a huge fan of asian horror films. ever since i saw Ringu seven years ago, i knew that the dark atmospheric, creepy, psychological scariness was right up my alley. finally i was seeing a horror movie that legitimately scared the crap out of me. Whether it was Sadako from the Ring climbing out of a TV and eating my soul or Kayako climbing down steps croaking and eating my soul or Asami from Audition putting me in a bag sticking needles into me and um...eating my soul, im a sucker for the scary black haired lady of Asian horror.

One of the first major films I saw that features the black haired lady/ghost was KAIDAN, the seminal collection of horror films by Masaki Kobayashi. the four short films were all based on popular legend and one of them was about the vengeful female ghost with long black hair covering her eyes. a lot of people have criticized the japanese for overusing this but the imagery and themes of revenge are no different from western culture's fascination with zombies, vampires, or eerie white ghosts. the color white is also a strong symbol of death in asian culture which is why a lot of the black haired ghosts are wearing white gowns. as an aside, i will add that throughout asia, black is not a mourning color--white is.

now that we have the historical info out of the way lets talk about da bitches.

of course the women arent bitches, they are seeking revenge for violent deaths to themselves or their family and frankly most of the the time, their anger is justified though their methods be a little extreme. it is right for Sadako from Ringu to make a video that kills people unless they copy it and show it to someone else? Um....maybe she overreacted but you would be cranky if someone dumped you in a well to die and had to be cold and wet for seven days. So, I usually give the female villians the benefit of doubt. However, I saw BLACK HOUSE, and frankly was... the chick from that was a crazy bitch.

she killed without remorse which was her shtick. she did not feel guilt and killed people for insurance money. the hero in this film is a meek insurance agent trying to justify the claims. finally, ive been waiting for claims agent as a protagonist (such an oft under appreciated hero of nerdom). overall, black house was an awesome movie but one of the few clear cut cases of an angry female with long black hair killing seemingly for no reason.

though i hope this film was an isolated example, im hoping that asian horror films dont jump onto this bandwagon. for too years, american horror films have been plagued by a maniac without much motivation to kill other than insanity. or the reasons they have for killing are pretty lame (freddy kreuger im lookin at you!). michael myers, leatherface, sandra bullock -- all merciless killers just because (sandra bullock makes me die inside).

what makes asian horror so entrancing for me is the motivation behind the killings. the women that are so terrifying and ruthless at the beginning of the film become almost pitiable. they are just looking for closure and an end to their emotional torture. i want to feel for the villian. a compassionate villian makes an interesting story.

whispering corridors, momento mori, tale of two sisters, the red shoes, cello, cinderella -- all of these have some sympathetic and black haired villian or ghost and use it to the story's advantage.

while these women may be misunderstood and crazy, they are intriguing characters. in short, these ladies are all right with me. except for the black house chick, that bitch is straight up trippin'

The Importance of the Hurt Locker in the Upper Echelon of War Films

2010-02-03T17:56:00.000-08:00

THE HURT LOCKER will be remembered as one of the most important movies of the 00's.

this is a lofty claim for a film during it largely ignored during it release and starring virtually no one of note (the ralph fiennes appearance was basically a cameo) but this is going to be a landmark film for one major reason: that the war in iraq has finally been accurately portrayed on film and connected with audiences.

before i really get going, the hurt locker is about a bomb defusing unit working in Iraq in the second occupation (this one).

if you look back at movies dealing with terrorism and modern warfare post 9/11, you will see quite a few: in the valley of elah, rendition, stop-loss, grace is gone, the kingdom, and even vantage point. still, none of these movies really resonated as something realistic or relevant and had the critical acclaim to make it a lasting memory. of those, elah was nominated for an oscar but it remained largely ignored and like most of the movies above, it dealt more with the impact of the war at home rather than in the field.

im not in the armed services nor do i know anyone who serves in the army so it does seem pretty naive for me to sit here on my couch and type about the real experiences the film conveys. though in many ways, the actual realism is secondary to having a strong, lasting piece of media detailing this war, one of the most important historical turning point of the US. no reproduction is going to be 100% accurate but in this case, the message is more important.

true to life or not, this is a film that people have slowly latched onto as a gritty and true to life war film. it is not the constant explosions and adventure of the kingdom or the heavy handed armchair leftist touting politics of lions for lambs or rendition. it is a film that says that fighting in iraq is psychologically intense with bursts of incredible fear and imminent death with periods of intense boredom. this isnt a movie about politics, it is about the men on the ground that the politicos are arguing about.

i think that the only other film to capture this aspect of war is jarhead, the immensely underrated sam mendes film made about the first occupation of iraq. for all intents and purposes, a lot of war does seem to be waiting around. even in 'all quiet on the western front,' which i consider to be one of the greatest war movies of all time, there is a line to the extent of 'we wait around we fight and try not to get killed.'

that is war, right? watered down and simple. fight the other side and try not to get killed.

but its so much than that especially when dealing with a polarizing war such as that of iraq. there are so many other sides including the iraqi population. there are endless greys in these conflicts and on top of it, there are those for and against american occupation with the latter being far louder than the former.

in the hurt locker, nothing in the movie cried out to me of propaganda of either side. to me, it was a simple and beautifully done film with a solid message about a relevant topic that will continue to be discussed for many future generations. the hurt locker is a modern day 'all quiet on the western front,' 'full metal jacket,' 'saving private ryan,' 'mash,' or 'patton' and deserves it place as a major talking point about war in the modern era.

***************

as an aside, i want to go back to writing about movies from 50 years ago. think ill switch back to that

i HATE the grammys and fear the Oscars will turn into it

2010-02-01T17:42:00.000-08:00

"Grammy asshole weekend in LA. Yuck... The Grammys = the old guard / old media propping up their puppets trying to convince the outside world (and each other) they're relevant."

those words are trent reznor as said on his twitter account and i totally completely agree.

the grammys by their very nature are a giant disappointment. the goal of the grammys is to showcase and award the best of music in the american market. this is of course the most cutting edge, innovative, and daring sonic interlays on radio airwaves today. or they will just give a bunch of statues to black eye peas, who dont so much write songs as they do put loud thumping noises together with a single phrase and taylor swift, who actually might be carrie underwood? um....the second one?

of course the grammys are a total joke. the fact that a major award went to kings of leon which everyone who knows music feel haven't been really good since a-ha heartbreak (or whatever it was called). the grammys are basically the same award ceremony as the people's choice awards, american music awards, billboard music awards, just to name a few. its another excuse for the same crop of mediocre music that sells a lot of copies to get on TV.

one only needs to look at the incredibly condescending, 'best alternative album' category to truly appreciate the ridiculousness of the farce. phoenix won. good. they were up against a death cab for cutie EP, the new depeche mode album, yeah yeah yeahs, and david byrne/brian eno. right. bryne/eno -- who talked about this album? they are legends but it did not make waves. yeah yeah yeahs its blitz was definitely a great album and deserved the spot in a year that didn't include breakthrough albums, commercially and critically by animal collective and grizzly bear. depeche mode's new album was pretty much shrugged off with a giant 'meh' (i love depeche mode but this album was not very good and playing the angel was a way better album by far). also, this wasn't a 'alternative' album but closer to electronic or even dance. in fact, neither was the byrne/eno album. finally, death cab for cutie's open door EP was really good. in fact, i liked it more than the tepid narrow stairs album (which was nominated for a grammy, their first) but i refuse to accept that there were no other full albums that could fill the bill.

i complain about this every year but every time someone says that the oscars needs to be like the grammys, and that people are sick of movies that didnt make a billion dollars winning best picture-i want to bite their face.

what is best isn't always what is most popular. in fact, it usually never is.

the grammys maybe at one point was relevant but now, its just an excuse to be a more family friendly MTV music awards which is way more about the show than the actual awards.

the oscars i feel will eventually go down this road and we will see quality all around brilliant films like the hurt locker getting nudged out for GI Part 4: The Quest for Unbridled Merchandising. i think if avatar wins best picture this journey will be accelerated.

avatar is not the kind of movie that wins best picture. it is the kind of movie that wins every technical award but nothing that involves rewarding story structure. a film like the hurt locker excels in every single area of celluloid. it is thought provoking, well acted, directed, and is destined to be included in lists of important films from a critical standpoint.

avatar is like the matrix. its a game changer and the kind of movie that changes the way popular films are made. popular? yes. good? yeah. oscar worthy? no. Anyone out there who thinks the Matrix should have won Best Picture should stop reading or send me hate mail.

just listen to grizzly bear's two weeks and get lost in the subtle sweeps of the beautiful harmonies and chorus. experience the well crafted technical musicianship and the unique and subtle lyrics. then listen to the black eye peas boom boom pow. what does that even mean? what is it trying to say? one is made for people who love hearing something cutting edge yet accessible and beautiful. the other is made for folks to dance to. nothing wrong with that but not deserving of the highest musical honor america has to offer.

Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas

More Black Eyed Peas music on iLike

LETS GET AVATAR-DED!

2010-01-29T17:36:00.000-08:00

AVATAR! 3D! AWESOME! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now that i got that out of system, i would like to welcome people back to mise en meh. ive been a little quiet since my ten megawatt list that took most of my christmas break from me. during that time i was writing i was watching A LOT of movies. i will resume the recent watching feature soon but for now i want to talk about avatar.

i saw it last week in a HUGE IMAX. as far as IMAXs go, this was a big one and of course it was in 3D.

i winced quite a bit during the movie. in fact, during each of the stupid navi dancing sequences, my wife and i were downright LOLing at the ridiculousness of it.

'silly navi. its going to take more than that to save ripley!'

before i start talking about what i liked in this awesome awful film, ill talk about the badness. going into avatar, i had heard a lot of things on this movie.

@secretcristina said it was about 'blue cats living in an internet tree'

@radmike likened to ferngully as did hitler

this is my favorite hitler video btw...but that is for another blogspot.

yes avatar was incredibly stupid. the plot was nothing new and downright silly with predictable turns, clear good and evil, and a lot of cinematic pilfering (the final battle between jake sully and the evil military guy reminded me a lot of the final battle scene in iron man). frankly, hitler is right and sam worthington is awful. REALLY awful. his acting is laughably mad and is frequently outacted by anything remotely on screen. in fact, signourey weaver really phones it in too and you have to wonder if any of the flesh actors were too distracted by the awesomeness of pandora to actually concentrate on acting.

but again, this movie is not about humans.

the world of pandora was the most amazing thing ive ever seen. floating mountains!? YEAH! crazy dog things!? WHOA! FERNGULLY RE-IMAGINED! FUCK YES!! i never wanted to leave the magical land of pandora and every moment in this world was so frickin' cool.

this is a game changer. much like the matrix did with action sequences, avatar made 3D movies with motion capture characters look silly. if you compare the navi with any of the characters in the zemekis trilogy of mediocre to attrocious IMAX films (polar express, beowolf, christmas carol), the navi reign and everything else looks silly.

a coworker of mine was comparing the 3D in avatar to beowolf. in the latter, characters would take out a weapon and seem to say something, 'look at my sword in 3D! it is totally in 3D! is this not blowing your mind!' or 'im going to swing a stein of ale and bits of red shit is going to come FLYING out at you because its 3D! ISNT THIS AWESOME!' with avatar, 'here are some floating mountains. it is impossible to picture these in 2D because this is a real place and these are really some floating mountains.'

avatar should NOT have won the golden globe for best drama. that should have went to hurt locker which should win the oscar as well. avatar was an outstanding cool film that will change the course of action films from now on. it is NOT a best picture. the story and the acting were passable to downright abysmal. cameron should get a best picture nod of course and possibly win but this film should not take away best picture honors from hurt locker, a brilliant, impressive, smart, understated, and all around excellent film. the hurt locker doesnt have weak points and will change the way hollywood will make movies about contemporary war.

next up for avatar is a sequel and maybe jimmy cameron should borrow the wachowskis to put in some cool bullet effects. that would be SWEET. seriously jim, i cant wait ten years to go back to pandora. i want to see some of those faraway lands referenced and maybe see the internet tree again.

the anti-climax that is the golden globes

2010-01-17T16:09:00.000-08:00

of all the major awards shows (sorry people's choice--not you), i have the most contempt for the golden globes or the hollywood foreign press awards. basically, its a chance for minor critics to give awards to whatever movies they feel can get the most ratings. but in the end no one watches and it isnt really much of a litmus test for the oscars (that would be the critics choice and the guild awards). anyway, because im so anti-hfpa and so pro-other tings here are my picks:

Best Motion Picture - Drama

The Hurt Locker (2008)

this is the movie to beat and avatar fever was still a bit calmer when the critics were voting.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Julie & Julia (2009)

(500) days has got a good shot but no can stop the streep

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

George Clooney for Up in the Air (2009/I)

clooney as himself. jeff bridges is the mickey rourke of this year

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side (2009)

UGH!

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Joseph Gordon-Levitt for (500) Days of Summer (2009)

part of the love for this movie was the levitt.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Meryl Streep for Julie & Julia (2009)

a lock.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds (2009)

another lock

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Mo'Nique for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

lock again

Best Director - Motion Picture

Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker (2008)

ditto. lock.

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Quentin Tarantino

tarantino is the ultimate always the screenplay never the film guy

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

Crazy Heart (2009): T-Bone Burnett, Ryan Bingham("The Weary Kind")

a crap song but the stuff they go for

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

A Single Man (2009): Abel Korzeniowski

i would love to see where the wild things get it but a single man was pretty brilliant

Best Animated Film

Up (2009)

will anyone who think this isnt going to win never bet again?

Best Foreign Language Film

Das weisse Band - Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte (2009)

im thinking haneke can pull this one off. the real contest is between this and almodobar's broken embraces

DONE. enjoy your evening of stupid awards show nonsense and im going to go back to writing real blogs soon

My Favorite Film of the Last Ten Years...

2010-01-04T09:40:00.000-08:00

1. WALL-E

yup. no description needed.

...

ok. i guess i can write SOMETHING.

thinking back over my life watching films from this decade, ive been drawn to the macabre movies that tend to make me feel empty inside. why do i do this to myself? as ive said before, i watch movies to feel extremes and it might be because im so cynical and embittered with life that its hard for me to experience something that makes me feel good about life and humanity. dont get me wrong, there have been quite a few films i loved that genuinely made me feel happy throughout the years like that over the years. as i discussed earlier in the list, harold and kumar go to the white castle is one of them. the scene in which they finally got their burgers made me feel great to be alive as it was seeing two people struggle and then get exactly what they want. that is something i can relate to and something i have experienced- a struggle and an inevitable pay-off though not all conflicts end that way.

with wall-e, the struggle was the loss and eventual redemption of humanity. the character of wall-e, the last garbage collection bot on earth, through years of mindless work discovered humanity and finds joy and pleasure in the smallest details and minutiae we all take for granted. meanwhile, the actual human race has lost all the things that made themselves unique. they relied on machines for everything -- food, movement, reproduction and while excretion was not covered in the film, we can make a wager as to some other things those chairs did. in short, human beings could barely be classified as living things and certainly not unique. also, at any point in the movie, it doesn't show humans loving anything (love being perhaps one of the most important feelings of the human spirit). though wall-e, one of millions of similarly produced beings, alone on the planet discovered all these things and more and sought the one thing that humanity neglected: real physical contact. wall-e wanted to hold eva's hand (eva of course being another scouting droid robot sent to recover hints of plant life on earth) which he understood as the ultimate sign of love. when eva is struck down, wall-e nurses her(/it?) back to health and shelters her from rain and other elements, again something that humanity has forgotten.

without giving away spoilers (though i think we all know how it ends) the pay-off of the film is epic and consistently drives me to tears. the message for me is not that love conquers all, which im not sure i actually believe in life, but that nothing is as worse of as it appears. in the beginning of the movie, humanity seemed worse for the wear but there was a spark still alive in the form of wall-e. in that spark, there was hope, and eventually, humanity did survive and for me, knowing that seemingly insurmountable odds can be overcome is an invigorating feeling.

on a side note, to anyone who has seen the film and not paid close attention to the credits, i suggest you do so. it traces the future of the human race of when they leave the ship to a recovery of their culture and it does so through art movements in history. in other words, earliest images of humans leaving the ship are cave paintings than go to ancient egyptian-->medieval-->renassaince-->impression etc. in fact, here it is:

so there ya go. my favorite movies of the last 10 years. that only took me about 30 hours to do.

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (5-2)

2010-01-02T08:38:00.000-08:00

5. 3-Iron

the next 4 films in the top 5 are all foreign and have all debuted to some acclaim. however, these movies from here on in affected me more than any other films this decade and they all fall within my top 20 favorite movies of all time. 3 Iron is a Korean film directed by Ki Duk Kim who i have written about quite a bit on this list. this film is about a man who breaks into people's houses when they are on vacation and live there. he doesnt steal or wreck anything. in fact, he just moves in and cleans or organizes their things before he moves out. along the way he meets a girl who joins him in this quest. the girl is in an unhappy marriage and forms a strange codependent relationship with this this other guy. so, the description of the film only gets stranger from here on in. it is mostly silent and the two leads never talk save for one important line at the film spoken by the girl. throughout the course of the film, the man learns how to make himself invisible not in the literal sense but to live in the natural world without being seen. there is nothing supernatural just the ability to avoid being seen by using quiet and speed. in the 90 minutes movie, you encounter one of the most unique love stories ever produced on film. the themes of lonliness, isolation, and in the end, redemption are common to all ki duk kim films but in this one the stately silent and claustrophobic modern world appear more beautiful than usual. ive seen this about 5 or 6 times and each time i discover new things to admire with this film. Here is the trailer...

and here is the full film...

4. 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

this movie absolutely should have won the best foreign film oscar in 2007. in fact, this probably should have won best picture overall. it won the cannes palm d'or which is a pretty big award. so, what is this about? it is about a romanian woman trying to help her friend get an abortion in 1987. problem is that abortion is illegal in romania and they have to do it on the black market. i think its obvious what that the title refers to. directed by christian mungui, this is a tragic tale and one that gets increasingly more tragic as the film goes on. throughout the film it becomes clear that the abortion is one of the simpler parts of their story. what continues is a dark tale of abuse, lies, and a movie that is too painful to watch twice. why do i put myself through these experiences? i could have watched transformers and everything could have been better. i never would have had to sit through this incredibly depressing film that left me too broken to cry by the end of the film. but then i wouldnt get to experience this amazing tell of human drama. this is a topic that i would never have to deal with otherwise and that is exactly why i watched this. with film, it is possible to experience life as you could never. a true life drama most likely happened to people, quite a few of them and films like allow someone like me, living a comfortable life close to boston to watch the struggles of romanian women in the 80s do something that just about any american could do without having to watch the compromises they made. here is the trailer:

and here is the full movie!

Watch 4 Months, 3 Weeks & 2 Days (2008) Online Free - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

3. Kairo (Pulse)

this is in my top 10 favorite films of all time and though its considered a horror film, i consider one of the most intense and well done psychologically dramas ever made. directed masterfully by kiyoshi kurosawa, this movie is about the dead returning to on earth through computers. as the dead continue to re-enter the world, people begin to disappear into the void between worlds. like 3 iron, this is a study on alienation in the modern world. the message of the film is that is as the world gets closer throughout computers, people can become increasingly segregated into their own cyber worlds. in this respect, it is logical to think that the dead can still exist in a cyber world. this film came out in 2001 which was before a lot of the social networks and iphones and the constant connectivity which is now considered normal in society. in the film people who were once living become completely immersed in their computers and quite literally disappear in a fuzz. pulse was remade in the US and like most US remakes, completely missed the point. instead of an existential rumination of society and isolation due to increased false connections of interwebbing, it was a horror film about the dead walking the earth. the original pulse is scary but is so much more than your standard horror film. its a mindfuck and an experience. this is almost necessary to watch twice to fully appreciate what is going on in the film. im not sure if you can see kairo as a warning or a promise as to what the future will bring but its an intense and thought provoking film. here is the trailer that does sell it as a scary ass horror film. here is the trailer:

i cant find a link for the whole film :( sorry!

2. Lilja-4-Ever

a few years ago the Onion made THIS LIST featuring 24 movies that are too painful to watch twice. on this list were many of my favorite movies i have seen more than once (bergman's winter light? pssshaw ive seen that 4 times. audition? kids stuff.) but #23 is the subject of this blog entry. Lilja-4-Ever is a Russian film made by the brilliant swedish director lukas moodysson (who helmed the excellent together and fucking amal). it is about a russian teen who accidently ends up sold into forced prostitution. in short, this is the second most depressing movie ive ever seen and the most intimate and tragic film ever made on the subject of human trafficking. in the film, moodysson condemns those prey on the girls, the countries that support it, and the western world in general for not doing enough. the heroin, lilja is championed as a martyr and the ultimate victim. i dont want to talk about this movie too much because i want you all to watch this movie. its a masterpiece and it does not shove its message down your throat and if you it did, it wouldnt be nearly as effective. the most heartbreaking aspect of the film is its gritty reality and the sense of further impending doom. watching this movie you know that things arent going to get better. after all, even before she is sold into prostitution, she has a close not entirely sexual friendship with a local boy who commits suicide after she leaves and becomes her guardian angel. his best though sad is unfortunately one of the more redeeming aspects of the film. i watch this film and loved it for the same reasons as 4 months 3 weeks 2 days; for the unflinching view of someone else's reality. the magic of film allows us all to experience legitimate problems of the world. this sort of thing happens and though these are fictionalized accounts, the stories could be typical to most tales of human traffic and other violations of basic human rights.

here is the trailer

and here is the whole movie!

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (10-6)

2009-12-31T12:13:00.000-08:00

10. Munich

i never thought that i would the phrase 'severely underrated' and 'steven speilberg' in relation to each other. but yes, this is a steven speilberg movie that is incredibly UNDERrated. i didnt like ET, AI, minority report, war of the worlds--im not really much of a speilberg fan. in fact, i find his films sappy and insipid most of the time. unless the films are about jews apparently. schindler's list didnt pull any punches and that was an unquestionable masterpiece. munich is not alone a great film about jews but also about palestinians. the film, about the secret retaliation of the israeli government of a palestinian planned kidnap-murder of israeli athletes in the 1972 olympics, is a gripping and well executed movie with an even greater morale and lesson. while i was fully expecting speilberg to say 'palestine is bad. israel is good,' he took a more controversial and i think, more relevant stance. that is, he said that both sides are right AND wrong. it was their constant warring that is tearing apart the social dynamic in not just their part of the world but the world in general. this deserved more awards attention than it got and i think because it didnt take the obvious stance that it was perceived as anti-israel by some. frankly, this is just as ridiculous as thinking that dinosaurs exist on an island off the coast of costa rica.

rather than post a clip from the movie, i decided to an interesting interview with spielberg about the film

9. A Tale of Two Sisters

throughout the aughts, we had a lot of horror movies come out all the world. the worldwide popularity of J and K-horror films scared a lot of people and with these brilliant original films came the shitty remakes that besmirched the originals reputations. this film, (called Janghwa, Hongryeon in korean) is not only the best horror movie ive ever seen but among the best ive seen period. even the american remake, the uninvited (with emily browning and elizabeth banks) was pretty good! what made the original so fantastic was a perfect combination of drama, mystery, and horror. there were a few very well planned scary ghost and things pop out moments that were extraordinarily well timed. one of the downfalls with most horror films is that it relies on scary 'things popping out' rather than setting up an aire of mystery that is genuinely frightening. this is a scary stepmother, psychological unrest, and haunted house movie in one and and the trademark horror movie twist was actual a real surprise. for me, this sets the standard for horror movies. it was beautifully shot and perfectly executed and i want everyone to see this. NOW. so i pasted the first part below. WATCH THE WHOLE DAMN THING! (subtitled)

8. Head-On

turkish director (hold on keep reading, ill be talking about porn in a second) faith akin's the edge of heaven (discussed earlier in this list) is one of the most exciting directors to watch for the coming decade. head-on is the story of two social misfits recently out of a mental hospital after attempting suicide and failing. the film is a beautiful story of love developing in very unlikely situations and between two people who would seem unfit for any love in general. however, there is an interesting story behind the film. the performance of sibel kekilli, the female lead, won several major MAJOR acting awards around the world. soon after, it was discovered that she was a major MAJOR adult film star. if you google her name, you will see a hell of a lot of naked pictures of a rather explicit nature. why am i bringing this up? mainly to get you guys to keep reading but just to remind all of you that brilliant actresses are everywhere and that you shouldnt judge. in my opinion of the most interesting actresses around is named erin brown. she used to do soft core porn under the name misty mundae and is now a sort of b-horror movie actress. all she needs is a good role and a great director and she can be the next sibel kekilli. i know i went a bit on a tangent on that one and but i assure all of you that this is one the finest international films of the last 10 years.

7. Garden State

what!? garden state!? 7th best movie of the decade? no. it is not the 7th BEST movie of the decade. it is my 7th FAVORITE movie of the decade. for me garden state is an intensely personal film. the issues that zach branf's character deals with i can relate to very closely. as a former NJ ex-pat, i did have a lot of issues with my family that kept me away from my homestate for years. and while i did became a minor celebrity or work in a posh asian restaurant that sells ketel one vodka drinks, i had brief success and then failure as a musician and was working and cleaning up in a lab to make money. so there were a lot of parallels i saw between the film and me. i saw a few times in theater and while it wasnt the movie that directly caused me to patch up my relationship with my parents, it was a factor. unfortunately, whilst in new jersey i never met a natalie portman epileptic who introduced me to the shins. for the records, i LOVE the shins and i did BEFORE garden state and i was definitely irritated by all the extra attention. so yeah, i loved this movie. its twee and romantic and inspirational and like...nick and nora's infinite playlist + MORE indie. mmm...

6. Kill Bill

yes i am including this as one entry. yes i am a huge tarantino fan. yes i have watched these movies a dozen times. yes the first movie i ever went to see alone was vol 2 at 11 am on a friday. i regret nothing. here is my favorite scene. its the last one but its perfect:

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (20-11)

2009-12-30T07:33:00.000-08:00

20. Team America: World Police

the only film on this list done entirely with puppets...unfortunately. its a shame that south park creators trey parker and matt stone only do a movie every decade or so because all of them have been pretty damn funny. though this one is not just funny, its a biting satire on war, terrorism, the media, and um...broadway. i cant recall a second in this movie i didnt love and really think its one of the most perfectly executed comedies of all time. even from the opening shot of a puppet in the backdrop of paris operating a puppet to a cockroach version of kim jong il to playing away in a tiny spacecraft and then back to 'everyone has AIDS,' this is one of the funniest movies of all time much less the decade.

and oh yeah...MATT DAMON

19. Piano Teacher, The/La Pianiste

so now we are going from satirical puppet comedy to a twisted tale of BS&M piano teacher/student relationships. this is the final of four films by director michael haneke on the list and it is the most intriguing of his films. isabelle huppert stars as a firm riged stick up the ass piano teacher living with a controlling verbally abusive elderly mother. she meets a young student who unleashes in her weird sexual obsessions that have just existed in her private life. one of the best examples of class struggle and sexual perversion combined, it is a dark and strange experience and perhaps his most disturbing since funny games (which was remade this decade with naomi watts to some success). below is a very good representative scene towards the beginning of the film

18. Match Point

the aughts will be known as the decade where woody allen found his touch again. after stumbling with a series of films in the mid to late 90s, he made 3 films which many consider to be among his best, melinda and melinda, vicky cristina barcelona, and this film. returning to subject matter and styles closer to interiors than annie hall, this fascinating morality play featured some brilliant performances and an absolutely rivetting and mind bending conclusion. i am a huge woody allen fan and even loved the much criticisized scoop but match point was definitely a deviation from his traditional styles and moods. while i do mention interiors above, there is no hint of scandanavian bergmanesque pretension. it is just a great, well acted drama that is yet another entry into the excellent canon of woody allen.

17. Isle, The/Seom

another well respected director on this list is korean auteur ki duk kim. he is one of my favorite directors working today and this early-ish work of his is my favorite one of his films. the plot of this film is a fine representation of his usual themes. this film is quite literally a manifestation of the phrase 'man is an island.' a woman works at a small resort in which men live in tiny houses on a lake to fish. on this resort, her main responsibility is to take prostitutes who arrive out to the men in the lake. she meets one such man who feels a similar type of lonliness and isolation that she feels. like all of kim's works, the emphasis is not on words but on moods and feelings. originally i watched this because i thought it was a horror movie but discovered one of the most intense psychological character dramas i have ever seen. this movie changed my life. i included the trailer but my favorite scene is on youtube. however, its the final shot and without the context of the rest of the movie doesnt make any sense. my apologies to anyone who doesnt speak korean (like me)

16. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

dark foreign film. uproarious comedy. i think we have a trend here. harold and kumar. what is there is to say about this film. this film is an instant cult classic and destined to be the beginning of a great and very funny franchise. what i am going to talk about is my favorite scene of the movie--the scene where they finally get to white castle. after 90 minutes of buildup and epic journeys, they finally arrive at white castle. beaten up but no beaten, they order their burgers and fries and they eat. they eat like they never have before. such cinematic gratification i have never seen before and when they were eating those burders, i wanted to get up and applaude. it is felt so good to see people really get exactly what they want. and ive totally serious too. it is was seriously amazing to watch. oh yeah, the battleshits scene was pretty funny too. my favorite sequence begins at 3:19 below

15. Hard Candy

for just about everyone, ellen page is juno, a spunky pregnant teen. but for me, she is hayley stark, one of the most intriguing, mysterious characters of modern film. in hard candy she plays a 14 y/o girl who meets a 32 year old guy on the internet and meets him. said man is played brilliantly by patrick wilson. he is a pedophile but seems like a really cool, nice, good looking guy and she seems like a really mature girl who an older guy who really could fall for. but this movie is all about appearances and who characters appear to be. hayley stark is soon not be revealed to be who she is and neither is wilson's character. what follows is a 2 character play of exacting twisted revenge in the name of those who were taken advantage of. as great as wilson is in this, the film belongs to page whose cool, sophisciated demeanor fades into a cold, calculating femme fatale quickly and ruthlessly. without a doubt, one of the most uniquely played 2 character dramas since Sleuth (michael caine and sir laurence olivier)

14. Nobody Knows/Dare mo shiranai

the 4th most depressing movie ive ever seen and like most of the top 5, it is japanese. they certainly do like depressing the fuck of their people. directed by hirokazu koreeda, whose 2009 film still walking is appearing on many year end best of lists, nobody knows is about a small family (eldest child 12) who is abadoned by their mother and forced to survive on their own. needless to say, things dont go terribly well. someone this did not receive a lot of attention in the west which is absolutely ridiculous. a film this powerful and moving needed to be seen by more people. the film is really about what horrible things parents can do to their child and how selfish one particular parent was. what makes it even more devastating is that this was based on a true story.

"Nobody knows" (Japan) English trailer
Uploaded by Mavrika1. - Classic TV and last night's shows, online.

13. Chicken Run

away from the sad realm of japanese film (for a bit) and into the wonderful land of nick park. chickenrun was my favorite film of 2000 and it has held up very very well over the last decade. with wallace and gromit (the curse of the wererabbit nearly made the list) still kickin' this delightful tale of chickens overcoming the evil tweedy farm family is still awesome. i love those plucky chickens (pun intended!). well, frankly i dont have a lot to write on this film and im kinda running outta gas on this particular film. its cute, funny, and another reason NOT to hate mel gibson. man, this guy must be talented to have dodged as much crap as he is this decade. dag. alright, two more left. i can do this.

no video clip...but i think you can WATCH THE MOVIE HERE

12. Best of Youth, The

every decade needs an epic italian drama and in the 00's we got this one. huzzah! shown in 2 parts, this incredible work is a typical family generational drama but was especially poignant. like all good films of this nature, there is a relationship between 2 brothers that gets severed by time and interest coupled with tragic deaths and political movements. everything i am saying right now isnt terribly new or original but just particular well done. i havent seen many movies that are this effortlessly six hours. in scope, i would legimately compare this to the godfather I and II or to lesser known italian masterpieces like ermano olmi's tree of wooden clogs. im not really surprised that this one didnt get an oscar nomination as it was produced for italian television. this doesnt mean its not brilliant or a masterpiece. in fact, just put it on the netflix q already.

11. All About Lily Chou-Chou

ok the last of the runners up. after this its all top ten and im really excited because this is taking way longer than i wrote it would. ok, here we go. so of all the obscure foreign films i put on this list, this one is the most obscure from a critical standpoint. this one probably wont end up on the end of critics lists which is a damn shame. all about lily chou chou is about two friends and their obsessive fandom over j-pop star lily chou chou. together, they listen to her, see her concerts, write about her on the interwebs and in messages boards. though the two friends do drift apart, their love of lily keeps them together. the way the film is shot is one of the most interesting aspects of an already excellent film. it is very dark and in the middle, there is a 30 minute sequence filmed entirely on hand held video (like blair witch or paranormal activity found footage kind of thing). its unrelenting and paints a portrait of a desperate and increasingly further isolated youth. despite its relative obscurity, it is ranked as one of the top 50 films about music in the IMDB top genre rankings so there is definitely an audience out there. i seriously recommend it of course. AND you can watch it on youtube for free! i embedded the first part below

**NOTE BEFORE PROCEEDING TO THE TOP TEN**

i left out IN BRUGES! im not sure how this happened but if i had the chance, i would play it into the 70s. sorry. rest assured that i did love that film.

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (30-21)

2009-12-27T08:08:00.000-08:00

30. 25th Hour

in the 00's, spike lee's best 2 films were about white people. that isnt to say that his 'when the levees broke' and 'bamboozled' werent excellent (they were) but for me, spike's 25th hour was a masterpiece. it was a pitch combination of post 911 new york representing a broad cross-section of contemporary (white) society. edward norton delivers his upteenth great performance and there are some outstanding turns by barry pepper, phillip c hoffman, brian cox, and anna paquin. bamboozled nearly the cut as did inside man but in terms of subtle, dramatic story-telling, this is the work lee has done. the scene below is one of my favorite scenes of any movies of all time.

29. High Fidelity

oh high fidelity. this is a predictable choice for anyone that knows me. an obsessive music-phile whose snooty elitism and devotion to his music covers up a brick wall of insecurity and self doubt. i love nick hornby's book but i also love this movie quite a bit, dare i say just as much. there are bits about this movie love such as the springsteen cameo (attached below) or jack black's awesome rendition of walking on sunshine or let's stay together. mostly though, i love the dreary love of music as the healer, the redeemer, the bringer together, and the cause and solution of fights. this is the pinnacle of intelligent comic dramas and a must see for music fans.

28. Morvern Callar

for the most part, this round of 10 films have a great deal widely seen films though this one might not be as well known. morvern callar is name of samantha morton's character, a scottish supermarket clerk whose boyfriend commits suicide leaving behind his unpublished novel. she takes it and gets it published under her name leading to fame and riches. directed by lynne ramsay, arguably the best female UK director working today, this is a bleak (im saying that word a lot arent i) and grainily shot film, firmly entrenched in the realm of the cinema verite. though as much credit as ramsay gets for a brilliantly executed film, it is with equal respect to samantha morton who portrays the title character with bravada, subtlety, and quiet insecurity. all in all, another great performance of the 00's.

WATCH THE FULL MOVIE HERE!

27. Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter...and Spring

another director i fell in love with this decade is korean auteur ki duk kim. he has already had a couple films on here and there is still another to come. but this is most certainly his standout film of the decade in terms of critical reception. this is a simple tale of a boy raised by a monk and is corrupted by the arrival of a woman. like many of duk's film, there is hardly any dialogue, big expensive outdoor shots, and the characters are secondary to nature. there is a beauty and artistry to kim's style in which the script is almost unnecessary. in that respect, there is definitely a limited audience for kim but for those who can appreciate films with this sort of artistry, its amazing. i tried to find a certain clip of the young monk writing out passages of a buddhist text using a cat's tail but i cant find it...so im not going to include a clip.

26. 21 Grams

another big international trend of the 00's was the emergence of the big 3 mexican directors. there was alfonso cauron (y tu mama tambien, which i hated), guillermo del toro (pan's labyrinth), and alejandro gonzalez inarritu whose 21 grams changed my life. i think this is one of the first films i saw that made me appreciate this sort of dark, redemptive cinema. all 3 performances (and bonus points for melissa leo) were tremendously good. much like many of the films on this list, it is shot in a style most grainy and full of grit and tenacity. oh how i love this film. here is the trailer and if you havent seen the movie, there are ways to watch it. *wink*

25. There Will Be Blood

paul thomas anderson managed to maintain daniel day lewis crazy urge to hammily overact until the last scene where he really let him go and thereby created one of the greatest scenes in film history. lets all realize paul dano was just as good.

24. Brick

one of the more obscure american films on the list but a fascinatingly unique and original film. the concept seems pretty stupid: film noir in high school but in the hands of director rian johnson, this was straight out of the 40s. large kudos belong to the star of the film joseph gordon levitt. now a star in his own right and largely recognized as one of todays great young actors, when this decade began, he was the kid from third rock from the sun. then he did mysterious skin and the world realized how good this kid was. brick was made a couple years after and those who saw this outstanding crime film continued to be in amazement of levitt. he is basically amazing in everyone hes in but for me this is my favorite performance of his and my favorite movie hes done so far. i put in the red band trailer...because its naughty! its a great trailer nontheless. (btw the trailer isnt naughty. no nudity. sorry)

23. Royal Tenenbaums, The

fasten your seat belts, i have 3 movies in a row that were widely seen, widely loved, and are on my best of decade lists. what can i say about wes andersen that hasnt already been said? ever since bottlerocket, he has been making witty, highly intellectual, black comedies that are equal parts funny, quirky, and sweet. by doing so, he has changed the world of independent film. he is one of the most consistent directors working today and all of his films get criterion releases; what does that say about him? this isnt my favorite film of his (that would be rushmore), but its close. the color schemes alone should be enough to guarantee it a spot in any DVD collection. im not sure i want to be a tanenbaum though, maybe just befriend margo. like all andersen films, the soundtrack is beautifully done and music is perfectly complemented to the visuals. i include a clip which uses elliott smith's needle in the hay, an example of a song reminding me of a movie.

22. Shaun of the Dead

one of the great things about writing about commercially popular films is that i can find all my favorite clips from movies! as for shaun of the dead, im not even going to write about a huge blurb about it. this is the greatest horror comedy of all time and quite possibly the 2nd best zombie of all time (original dawn of the dead. w00t). here is my favorite clip:

FUCK. i cant embed it... but its the one where shaun and ed try to pick records to throw at zombines. WATCH IT HERE

21. Lost in Translation

what can i possibly say about this that hasnt been said before. well, its pretty divisive. i know a lot of people that hated this movie and didnt get it. i know people that watched it again and then loved it. for me, there are so themes and messages that i can relate to. there is of course the obvious themes of lonliness and isolation all brought home by bringing the action to japan. there is parody of hollywood starlets and indie rock snootiness and of course, there is the opening shots of scarlet johannsen's ass. for me, this movie is about having people in your life that you love but still being lonely and not content. as for the last scene in the movie, the esoteric nature of the quiet whisper between bill murray and scarjo is perfect and without question, one of the greatest movie endings of all time. though that isnt my favorite scene in the movie; the honor belongs to the 30 seconds of bill murray singing roxy music's more than this. all of the themes in this movie can be summed up by his sad, mellow yet sometimes forced, occasionally pained delivery of the lyrics as a bewigged scarjo sits in the background looking on as if to say 'i can relate.'

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (40-31)

2009-12-26T10:14:00.000-08:00

40. Dancer in the Dark

let no one say that lars van trier is not an auteur. he is a director but he is most certainly an auteur through and through. his films are not meant to entertain but to invoke, to inspire, and to move and this one does all three. it invoked me to inspire a movement of depression in my self. this is without question one of the darkest movies ive ever seen. the selfless tale of a mother trying to save up money for her son to get eye surgery is devastating and unnecessarily tragic. bjork stars and her soundtrack EP for the album is just as ethereal and dark. plus, any peter stomare is good stomare.

39. Code Unknown/Code inconnu

another michael haneke film...i told you i loved him! this is the 3rd of 4 and while this film is not as confound as cache it is just as rife with poetry and class struggles. this is one of those many people lives intersect sorta films but the intersection is transient and the action all takes place from a walk down a street. in the hands of any other director a film like this would devolve into sappy 'youve got to love everyone' thing but haneke presents his characters as flawed, troubled, and real, not sympathetic. i attached a video on the film and the failure of the multiculturalism in modern society. heavy stuff but a brilliant film

38. In the Mood for Love

many film critics consider kong kar wei's in the mood for love the best film of the last ten years. i agree that its up there. in fact, i think KKW is one of the most interesting directors working today. both this and the follow up 2046 are so other worldly it is strange to place it to a certain era. the fashion and the sets were closer to the 50s then now but the feel of the film is futuristic without a doubt. the plot is obscure and the acting is wonderful with standout performances by tong leung chiu wai and maggie chung. the last time a love affair burned this intensity without anything physical was david lean's brief enounter some 70 years ago. watch the movie below? SURE!

Watch in the mood for love in Entertainment | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

37. Werckmeister Harmonies

WARNING: ENTERING REAL SNOOTY ART FILM TERRORITY!

part of the watching truly brilliant artistic films is developing patience. i talked about iranian director abbas kiarastomi and the idea of films are art rather than entertainment; a sentiment i have echoed quite a few times on this blog before. werckmeister harmonies is a strikingly beautiful film by hungarian director bela tarr. his 1994 satan's tango is considered a masterpiece of cinema and harmonies, a follow up of sorts is just as brilliant. tarr relies on long unbroken tracking shots that can last upwards of 10 minutes. there are slow pans of farms, scenery, and general activity. shot in B&W harmonies is a stark and bleak tale of peasants who fall under the spell of a travelling carnival and a "whale" he has in his show. the movie is really about the dull monotony and hopelessness of peasant life. the film is only 39 shots long which means that each one lasts about 6 minutes. this is a difficult film to watch if not youre into highly artistic films without much of a plot. if you are into seeing some experimental cinema and some wonderful nuanced methods, then check it out!

36. Best in Show

...and now for something completely different. best in show is my favorite of the christopher guest directed mockumentaries. ive seen this spoof of dog shows and obsessive dog owners over a dozen times and it still cracks me up consistently. there is no weak link in this and everyone holds up their comedy end. my favorite aspect of guest's quirky characters is their secondary obsessions that overshadow the reason they are in the film in the first place. for example, harlan pepper (played by guest) and his love of ventriloquism or cookie (the brilliant catherine o hara)'s slutty past. guest's films are far from overbearing but consistently silly and clever...lets hope he makes another one soon! and btw, what is eugene levy? he needs to stop with the american pie direct to dvd sequels and call guest up.

35. Eye, The/Gin Gwai

NOT THE REMAKE!!!!!!!! i really hope that the US stops remaking asian movies of any genre. anywho, directed the remarkable inconsistent pang brothers, this is probably the prince of all asian horror films behind ringu and ju-on (ring and grudge, resp) and for my dollar is one of the saddest of them. like most good asian horror films, the scary long haired ghost is really just crying out for attention and wants closure she didnt get in life. the story is ingenious too. blind woman gets cornea transplant and develops the ability to see ghosts. its really scary but sad.

34. Sea Inside, The/Mar adentro

the sea inside was a spanish film directed by alejandro amenabar (the others) is about a completely paralyzed author played brilliant by javier bardem and his quest to end his life. the subject matter is comparable to million dollar baby and the barbarian invasions (discussed early in the list) but is the most affective of the movies in the case of right to die. from the amazing opening sequence (pasted below) in which the paralyzed bardem gets up and flies to the touching conclusion, this is a film that is hard to forget. i think that bardem's performance in this is up there on my list of favorite performances this decade. check out this clip:

33. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

now this is a movie that deserved more; a lot than the tag of box office failure. john c reily got a golden globe nomination and for acting and best song and that was about it. this movie didnt just have a spectacular soundtrack but was one the second best music movie comedy ever made (second only to this is spinal tap). the brilliance of dewey cox is that it doesnt just spoof samey music biopics but also the last 50 years of music as a whole. from the film's beginning parodying buddy holly-like pop to beatles to the brian wilson to disco, this is a music lover's dream film. perhaps it didnt catch on because didnt get the subtleties with apt spoof of old bob dylan documentaries, the buddy holly story, and the life of brian wilson. still, every music lover and student should see this movie and purchase the amazing soundtrack. i include the clip below not because its the funniest thing in the movie but because i think of jack white as elvis anytime i see actual elvis.

32. Bubba Ho-tep

aaaaaaaaaaaaand speaking of elvis, bruce campbell (my hero) stars as him in this bizarre cult film from the early 00's. in a nursing home, elvis lives with a black old JFK (played by ossie davis) and battles mummies. though there isnt much action or violence but a lot of existential conversation and generally strange things. this film has a huge following among certain circles and not just the loyal followers of the campbell the bruce (me among them). i havent seen this years and need to give it a rewatch but this has stayed in my head for years. considering i saw this before i discovered the criterion collection and film canons and maintained my love for it, it is impressive.

31. R Point

it is taking longer and longer to do these film synopsis and why they deserve to be here. this is another obscure film im slappin on here for y'all to enjoy. r point is the tale of soldiers in the vietnam who are on a mission to rescue a lost brigade. they end up at the mysterious r point and begin to have conversations with ghosts of deceased soldiers from the past over their radios. the film is INTENSELY spooky and might be the best war/horror film ever made granted there arent many of those type of films made. the war isnt just the backdrop but an equal focus to the horror. this is a perfect of scary ghosts and war is hell. i just discovered that the whole film is on youtube to watch. i put in the first part of it and i really recommend it if you like horror or war films.

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (50-41)

2009-12-24T16:39:00.000-08:00

thats right people...we are now going 10 at a time. im going to include things as well like clips.

50. The Prestige

when this movie came out, it was first known as the other magician movie as the illusionist was garnering rave reviews and this one almost seemed like an afterthought. turns out though it jumped into the IMDB top 250 movies and firmly stayed entranced in the top 100. its garnering some impressive cult status and gave david bowie his juiciest film role in years. this is an incredible sci fi drama. it was noirish, dark, twisty, and truly a mindbending film. i wouldnt be surprised if this joins the echelons of top films of all time in the future

49. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

it says something when a movie made from alternate plots and outtakes is funnier than most comedies. thats right, Anchorman spawned an alternate film called 'Wake Up Ron Burgundy.' It's not nearly as good as Anchorman proper but its still a pretty funny watch. that is the greatness of anchorman, easily one of the funniest and most quotable films of all time. anyone who doesnt think the news anchor gang fight its incredibly hilarious has no sense of humor. why does brick have a grenade? who knows!?

48. Ratatouille

this round of movies is pretty conventional and dare i say...mainstream so far! the trends continues with the 2nd of 4 pixar films in the top 125. ratatouille was probably the one i was looking forward to the least but saw simply based on the pixar name. as usual, i was blown away by the heart, humanity, and honesty of the simple story of a rat who wants to be a chef. not as funny as some of the other ones but a great story nontheless and a great voice acting turn from patton oswalt.

47. Ten

RIGHT! here is where the conventional stuff ends. another iranian movie and the only showing from LEGENDARY iranian director abbas kiarostomi. roger ebert has said that his films dont exist for public consumption but for film festivals and classes. while i would like to disagree i cant. his films are so raw and experimental that it makes godard seem like speilberg. ten is simply ten conversations in a car set between the woman driving and the various passengers. there are only 2 camera shots and the film is obviously claustrophobic but the dialogue is amazing and fantastically real. few directors have captured the feel of a changing nation as well as kiarostomi.

WATCH THE WHOLE MOVIE HERE!!!!

46. Frailty

here is a rare example on my list. an american release. not independent. a box office disappointment. not remembered by many people. and starring ... matthew mcconaughey? no i didnt go crazy for his crazy abs. this is a rare non-stupid romcom or lame action adventure. frailty is a flashback film of mcconaughey's character talking about his father, a man who thinks god is communicating to him to kill certain people who are evil, to a stranger. things happen. twists. turns. and by the end, this is one of the greatest sleeper films ever made.

45. Dirty Pretty Things

this movie didnt get a lot of attention in this country but in its native england (bet you thought i was gonna say somethin' move exotic!), it won a lot of awards. the story is that unlikely relationship forms between a turkish illegal immigrant (audrey tattou) and a nigerian illegal immigrant (Chiwetel Ejiofor). directed by the great stephen frears, the film is gripping, intense, private, and of course, depressing. there have been a lot of touching and sad illegal immigrant movies (the visitor, etc.) but this one is particularly sad given the subtlety of the production and the acting of the two leads.

44. Kung Pow: Enter the Fist!

ok. there is no other list in the world that has dirty pretty things and kung pow next to each other, especially in a best of list. this redubbed spoof on 60s chop sockey kung fu cinema is incredibly divisive and has a very love-it-or-hate-it vibe and a cult following. done by the mostly awful steve oedekerk (of um...barnyard fame), this is one of the funniest movies ive ever seen in my life and i continue to quote it today. there has been a rumored sequel long in the works but i doubt that will ever get made. on the upside, it did made twice its budget in its theatrical run ($16 mil. not bad eh?)

41. Talk to Her

and we are back to more accepted top of the decade films. pedro almodovar's storied career began more than 30 years ago and some might say he is making his best work now. for me, my favorite of his films was this. the plot is pretty standard. boy barely meets girl. girl gets injured ends up in a coma. boy that barely knows comagirl stalks her whilst under. other boy falls into a similar situation with a matador. both men bond over the relationships they have with comatose. cue B&W dream sequence of small shrunken man walking into life size vagina. yup. standard almodovar.

42. Moulin Rouge!

who doesnt love this scene? seriously!

thats it.

41. Hidden/Cache

the second of 4 films by master german filmmaker michael haneke. this one took me a while to get into which was probably due to it being more confounding than haneke's usual esoteric style. the story is simple enough. a television personality is terrorized by a series of increasingly personal videotapes. he seeks out to find them and revisits sordid details of his past that he wanted to forget. what makes this film especially infuriating is that there is no real ending to the film...if you werent paying very close attention to the final scene which reveals all. problem is that the final scene is a 4 minute crowd shot in which the real action of the film takes place buried in the background. its "hidden" -- OOOOOH THATS WHAT THE TITLE MEANS!!!!

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (75-51)

2009-12-20T08:38:00.001-08:00

75. Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist

this is probably one of the more controversial choices on here and i honestly cant tell you why i love this sweet, often cheesy, movie about adolescent love and music. perhaps its due to the extent to which i can relate to being young and in love with music and the night in new york city...so shut it everyone

74. Letters from Iwo Jima

im in the minority of people who preferred this to flags of our fathers but there was something very kurosawa-esque of eastwood's depiction of the desperate of the japanese troops during iwo jima. i found the entire film to be very moving and beautifully shot

73. Finding Nemo

if you didnt like this movie, youre not human. pixar is pretty much perfect and ive made it no secret that i love them. all of their films are excellent (except cars) and this is one of the most human. also, the voice acting was spectacular

72. Time of the Wolf

german director michael haneke has 4 films in the top 100 so its pretty safe to assume that he is my favorite director working today. this post apocalyptic nightmare of a film is so confined and esoteric that its intentionally virtually impossible to understand why humanity was doomed. this is also one of the many great films legendary french actress isabelle huppert made in this decade

71. Saraband

and with this film, the great ingmar bergman said goodbye to films. this sequel of sorts to his legendary miniseries scenes of a marriage is really the perfect way to end his storied film career. loose ends are sort of tied up and two of his most memorable characters find a bit of closure with their lives. this really is a fine way to cap off his career

70. The Others

the first half of the decade was great for nicole kidman. there was this excellent atmospheric horror film, directed with expertise by alejandro amanebar, her oscar for the hours...and then came a bunch of shitty movies. is amanebar up for doing a sequel to this? i think it might be the only way to get her mojo magic

69. Small Time Crooks

woody allen will be more remembered this decade for match point and vicky cristina barcelona but this delightful throwback to his early years picture needs more attention. in terms of straight up comedies, this is his best since the 80s (no disrespect to scoop...that was pretty funny as well).

68. No Man's Land

this movie is vastly different from small time crooks. it won the best foreign film oscar in 2001. the plot is pretty simple: trapped in the middle ground between warring sides (no man's land) in bosnia and herzegovinia are two soldiers on opposite sides with another soldier passed out on a landmine. its a remarkable, sometimes darkly comic, morality tale that is as affecting as it is memorable

67. Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

...and now for something different. this is a spoof of 1950s b horror sci fi movies. its one of the funniest movies ive ever seen. director larry blamaire's follow up 'the trail of the screaming forehead' is almost as good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe9Fs10IIk0

66. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

im allowed to put one harry potter in here, right? this was my favorite and it was most likely due to the dark direction of alfonso cuaron.

65. Downfall

we are goin all over the place. downfall was another best foreign film oscar winner and rightfully so. this movie depicted hitlers last few months in the bunkers in the waning days of WWII. some say that this movie made hitler a more sympathetic character whereas i think it made look even crazier. also this movie gave us the numerous 'hitler reaction videos' on youtube. check out the avatar one.

64. Death of Mr. Lazarescu

one of two really really really depressing romanian movies on this list that will make you feel much much much better about the american healthcare system. the movie is about the title character's attempts to get a doctor to see him about a stomach problem. he gets bumped around every hospital in the city and eventually dies. happy stuff.

63. Saddest Music in the World

the director of this film guy maddin is one of the more well known experimental directors working today. his films brand up on the brain and my winnipeg made it onto a bunch of best of lists. this film is one of his most accessible films and is about a beer baroness's contest to find the saddest music in the world. simply beautiful.

62. Broadway: The Golden Age

my favorite documentary of the 00's is a simple tale of the way broadway used to be. since i often dream of being in the 1930-40s watching and starring in broadway shows this was right up my alley. combined with lots of great interviews and first hand stories, it was an awesome to broadway fans of all ages

61. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

shut up. this ruled. all of you. shut up and let me enjoy my star war with my depressing european movies

60. Battle Royale

not only is this a great movie but also a great idea. take a bunch of high school kids...put chips in their head and make them fight to the death. the last surviving kid gets to live. leave it to the japanese to bravely blaze a trail of unique education.

59. Wet Hot American Summer

warning! cult movie alert! this comedy stars a bunch of people from MTV's last funny thing that ever produced (intentionally funny that is) including david, michael showalter, michael ian black, ken marino and others. what resulted is one of the great summer spoof comedies of the last decade. bonus points go to law and order star chris meloni for truly bringing the funny

58. Station Agent

no one humps in this movie like in our last choice but what we do have is a subtle and very sweet film about trains and isolation. peter dinklage is wonderful as the protege of a deceased model train builder who forms unlikely friendships with other loners, including the always excellent patricia clarkson.

57. Noriko's Dinner Table

this might be the most obscure choice on the list. its japanese and its hard to describe what its really about. it is a pseudo sequel to the suicide club, directed by the same guy. in a nutshell, its a 2 1/2 hour about a group of japanese teens who people rent to give them a family or girlfriend experience though without anything sexual. honestly, its a remarkably strange and often moving picture. here is a link to the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRmpIwJQLFw

56. Mulholland Dr.

there is a reason this david lynch mindfuck of a film is on every critics top of the decade list. it is because it is an amazing movie. naomi watts and laura harris were both remarkable and im still wondering about aspects about this. interesting that i put 2 mindfuck movies in a row

55. Punch-Drunk Love

paul thomas anderson is definitely one of my favorite directors working today. and in this film he made me briefly really like adam sandler. one of the greatest reveals of twisted love in films ever, this understated tale mixes black comedy and sincere romantic drama at almost perfect ratios

54. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

i loved the trailer to this movie. it used mr blue sky extraordinarily well but overall, the entire thing was just about perfect. jim carrey was truly robbed of an oscar nod and im sad that this is destined to cultdom rather than recognition of its outright cinematic brilliance.

53. Drag Me to Hell

speaking of being ignored, this is the best american horror film of the decade by a longshot. when it released last summer to almost nothing, i really felt like horror fans were missing out. this film is quinessential sam raimi and the film horror buffs have been waiting for him to make since evil dead II. all we needed was more bruce campbell and this would have perfect.

52. Donnie Darko

there was a magical time where everyone loved jack gyllenhaal (sp?) and i think it was mostly due to this film. another film unfairly ignored in cinematic release, it found an audience through midnight showings and DVD. its rare that a film combined time travel, existentialism, and bunny costumes so well. its a shame that the unofficial sequel to the film (S Darko) was better than Richard Kelly's follow up films

51. Barbarian Invasions

another best foreign film oscar winner; this quebecoise film is one of the 3 big right to die movies of the decade (others being million dollar baby and the sea inside [that comes later]). directed by denys arcand (the most quebecoise and one of the best north american directors as a whole), it was a whipsmart, very talk-ey movie but a very affecting and memorable one.

Favorite Movies: 2000-2009 (100-76)

2009-12-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

here we go! the top 100 favorite films of mine this weekend. im going to post links or youtube videos just the name and a brief few words about why they belong on here. if they look interesting look em up

100. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

one of the ingenious comedy action films of the decade. for a brief moment we remembered that val kilmer is funny and were reminded that robert downey jr (the 90s were not his decade) is a force to be reckoned with

99. Inglorious Basterds

definitely one of the standard films of 2009 and continues tarantino's streak of perfection. between hans lambda and the amazing opening scene, this is definitely going to stand the test of time

98. The Edge of Heaven
turkish director faith akin's follow to head on was almost as good. the sparse gentle and subtle social drama hinged on non traditional relationships and dysfunction. akin is one to watch in the years to come

97. Russian Ark

alexander sukurov's russian masterpiece is one continuous shot. that means the 87 minutes of the movie was done in 1 take. challenging every convention of cinema and logic, he pulls it off and creates a grand world of his own that transcends time

96. Spirited Away

a surprise best animated film winner (that is, if you didnt see it) from the mid 00's. this film was one of the highest japanese films ever and continues director hiyao miyazaki's string of masterpieces though this still wasnt as good as princess mononoke

95. Master and Commander: The Far Side of The World

im really disappointed that this was a box office bust as it really had a potential to be a great series. russell crowe and paul bettany were both excellent and while director peter weir saved the seafaring genre, it didnt make very much money

94. Scotland, PA

im going to have a bunch of obscure movies on here you wont see on critics list and this is one of them. a forgotten adaption of macbeth set in the 1970s with the beginning of fast food drive thru restaurants. maura tierney was a perfect lady macbeth and this entire thing needs to be seen by more people

93. You Can Count on Me

and so we received mark ruffalo, who was supposed to be the next great actor...and then he made some really bad decisions (view from the top? in the cut?) but i will still remember him for his excellent performance here (and in eternal sunshine)

92. The Descent

the british could make horror movies? who knew? this decade will not be remembered for good horror movies. in fact, there are remarkably few good ones but this is a keeper. caves, darkness, monsters, suspense. done.

91. Once

everyone knows that the british isles know music and this irish production is a simple, sweet, earnhest and wholesome film with some of the most memorable songs of the decade. um... the british isles is the UK ireland and surrounding islands, right?

90. Before Sunset

im putting my romantic dramas back to back i guess. i did enjoy before sunrise but found it a bit syrupy to be taken truly seriously. sunset though is a more mature and appropriately bleak follow up with one of my favorite endings of the 00's

89. Winged Migration/The Travelling Birds

hey look! its birds and theyre flying! i saw this documentary and wanted to become a bird or at least ride in contraptions that make me look like i was flying (they use these crazy ass bird mimic things to film! its crazy!)

88. Story of the Weeping Camel

and apparently im putting animal documentaries back to back. this is a mongolian doc from 2003 about a camel who rejects her calf and villagers attempts to get the mother to take it back. its incredibly sad for most of it and incredibly sweet by the end.

87. Good Bye, Lenin!

a hit film from germany, this really deserved to win best foreign film at the oscars. it was everything a good movie should be - well acted, directed, with a great story. this farce is about a son trying to prevent his 'recent recovered from a heart attack' mother from finding out about the fall of communism

86. Man Without a Past

its time for another OBSCURE foreign film. finnish director aki kaurismaki is known only in HARDCORE film circles. he directs very short feature length fims (75-80) with very little dialogue and dry as a bone comedy. if you can appreciate his style then most of his films are wonderful little tales. man without a past is among his best

85. Brokeback Mountain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RqsVn1dkgQ

84. Turtles Can Fly

one of many iranian movies on my list, a country i am continually impressed with in terms of filmmaking. this is about a boy who installs satellite dishes to small towns so that can receive news about the recent US invasion of Iraq.

83. Abnormal Beauty

OBSCURE psychological horror film from japan directed by the pang brothers (the eye). starring 2 japanese pop stars in the lead, this is a dark and twisted film about photographing the beauty of the perverse and violent...including DEATH!

82. No Country for Old Men

a divisive film. everyone i know either loves it (majority) or hated it. clearly, i am in the first one and given my love for the coen brothers, its not surprising. also, this movie gave us anton chigurh, one of the most memorable villians of all time

81. Signs

theres a monster in my room can i have a glass of water? -- one of my favorite opening lines of all time. im not sure if anyone loved this film as much as i did but i found it unique and often pretty damn terrifying. i really hope m night shyalaman makes more movies like this and not about things like killer wind

80. Requiem for a Dream

did anyone see this and feel completely hollow and empty afterward? i did. even thinking about the horrific last few scenes, i want to cuddle my cats and not let go. so affective and so devastating

79. Blackboards

another iranian movie AND one of only 2 films directed by women on this list! samira akhmalbaf (daughter of legendary iranian director mohsen) made this simple and movie film about roving teachers trying to teach illiterate boys in villages how to read, write, and do math. they travel with blackboards on their back and continue despite not having very much luck.

78. May

one of my favorite horror directors to pop up this decade is lucky mckee. he did the woods, sick girl, and this, a film i consider a modern horror masterpiece. this shows on IFC a lot if you get tha channel, i just recommend watching it.

77. Lives of Others

the best foreign film oscar winner of a couple years ago, this beat pan's labyrinth and rightfully so. this film is epic in many ways. im getting sick of writing so ill just sum it up by saying, its german, about the east/west divide and ends happily

76. Capturing the Friedmans

wrapping up this set of bests is one of my favorite documentaries of the last 10 years. about a seemingly normal family, the doc investigates the father for strange sexually perverse crimes that may or may not have happened. one of the most interesting examples of non biased filmmaking ive seen in recent years, it gets my hearty nod for filmmaking in a real and not exploitative ways

My Favorite Movies from 2000-2009 - Part 1 or 5

2009-12-16T12:51:00.000-08:00

i havent written a blog solid entry for a bit now and though im compiling a recent watching entry, i have been diligently putting together a list of my favorite films of the last decade. ok, as my stupid wife pointed out, there is still a year left in the decade and that the year 2000 was in the 90s. to her and all you other poindexterish jerks, i say suck it-decades over.

before launching face first in to the list here are 25 movies that ALMOST made it. a bunch of 2009 films are on here and maybe with some more time they would move up the list but freshness does not always mean long term viability.

125. 2046

another sequel, this time to kong war wei's brilliant in the mood for love. atmospheric and ethereal and fascinating

124. X2/X-Men 2

i promise this list is more than just sequels. this x men was far superior to the 1st and 3rd

123. Jarhead

this film struck me immediately and im disappointed it never caught on. a more fitting realistic modern war movie is hard to find

122. Frost/Nixon

easily one of the finest, well crafted, and superbly acted dramas for adults of the decade

121. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The

the best of the lot. deserves accolades if only for the battle of helm's deep

120. 24 Hour Party People

an honest, funny, and often sad film about the rise, death, and rise of brit pop

119. Moon

a true sci fi mindfuck, which is becoming excessively rare in the era of cgi and blowing things up

118 Wonder Boys

curtis hanson's finest film and michael douglas best acting of the 00's. the script was very clever and entertaining

117. My Summer of Love

the little known british drama that gave us emily blunt also features a fine turn from paddie considine

116. Hotel Rwanda

it says something when an unflinching, bold, and shocking is criticized for being too flinch-ey

115. Yi Yi

edward yang's chinese family drama is long (3 hours) but is always interesting and heartfelt

114. Touching the Void

this documentary about climbing mt everest has dramatizations that were done so well, i forgot it was staged!

113. The Girlfriend Experience

for me, the standout independent film of 2009; a bleak statement on the economy and the increasingly blur line of commercialization of sex, love, and companionship

112. Children of Men

another great mindfuck of a movie. never before has a vision of the future been so realistic and frightening

111. Up

what other studio can introduce to characters, a love story, a marriage, and a death resulting in tears all within the first minutes of a movie? just pixar.

110. American Splendor

without question, this biopic on harvey pekar is the mixed documentary and shot film ever. paul giamatti was robbed of the oscar.

109. Hot Fuzz

how do you follow shaun of the dead, the greatest horror comedy of all time? by making the greatest action comedy spoof of all time.

108. Secretary

so dark. so twisted. so erotic. at the end of this, its hard to know what to feel aside from dirty and sexy at the same time

107. Rabbit-Proof Fence

this australian film about the horrific mistreatment of aboriginal peoples should be mandatory watching in all history classes. it manages to be sad and shocking without being overdramatic

106. Ginger Snaps

if there is a better analogy for a teen's sexual adolescence than turning into a werewolf once a movie, i havent seen it. great horror film (hmm...actually Teeth comes pretty close)

105. The Ring

though i prefer the original japanese version, the american remake is still of the scariest horror films ive ever seen and it still keeps it bite after all these years

104. Frida [2002]

salma hayak can act. who knew? ive always been interesting in frida kahlo but appreciated her even more after seeing this biopic

103. Lost in La Mancha

poor poor terry gilliam. all he wanted to do was adapt 'Don Quixote.' luckily, this doc about the unraveling of the production is a masterwork in itself

102. Time for Drunken Horses, A

the first of many iranian films on my list. extraordinarily subtle and real, this tale of the poor trying to survive is a tremendous eye opener as to how the other side of the world lives.

101. Adaption

i really wanted to put this in the top 100 but i couldnt justify taking anything out. its a shame because i loved this movie and forgot for a minute how awful nicholas cage is

A Poem

2009-12-07T19:06:00.000-08:00

a major digression from the normal blog entries:

The Internet is Lonely Without You

Dedicated to Sian and hoping that she gets a new phone soon

an anime portrait was absent this morning

upon my computer screen

i frowned and moved to work in my lab

knowing you werent here

well you are somewhere but sadly left phoneless

cuz your android decided to break

youre filing papers and possibly receipts

from farmers who buy pigs and sheep

for there werent drawings or even bad jokes

and lolcats cant match your style

you will appear again at 3 oclock my time

but by then the day is done

and time slows to a crawl as the day slightly draws

because the internet is lonely without you

what happens when i get to talk about godard

2009-12-06T17:51:00.000-08:00

on friday, my friend melissa called and asked me to give her a crash lecture on the french new wave and jean luc godard. she needed some quick talking points and of course she came to me because i know everything about film especially regarding the great godard.

i never actually got to talk about him in any length before and only gave a few sentences about him whenever situations called for it. i usually said something like 'he is a master though not all of his films are masterpieces.' thats true, i didnt care for many of his films but would happily watch a bad godard over and over again. but given the opportunity to talk about him, i realized how amazing i actually do find him even when his movies arent that great.

i dont love him on the same level as bergman, kurosawa, chaplin, or kubrick but in terms of intriguing directors, he is top. the upper echolon; a GOD(ard) even among enigmatic talents.

what i admire about godard the most dawned on me--he never sold out. his goal in creating films is exactly the same as it was when he first started. he set out to change film and the conventions of film. a former critic, he wanted to change the rules and some 50 years later, his films are still incredibly unique and fascinating though not always intensely watchable. this isnt a bad thing though. watching something recent like notre musique or forever mozart, ones realizes that they are hard to follow and difficult to comprehend but this was always his MO.

when he made breathless and changed cinema forever, he dropped the viewer into the middle of a movie in a seemingly already in progress scene and made the viewer catch up throughout the first half of the film. for a 1950s viewer, this must have been infuriating as viewers werent challenged like this before. now his most recent films are sometime loosely plotted, have involved music overpowering the dialogue which itself contains intense, long monologues on politics and religion often with the camera not focused on the person who is talking.

he is a recluse, doesnt give interviews now, and doesnt show up to accept awards much to the chagrin of good friend wim wenders. in short, he never gave up his artistic vision and reputation as a rebel and even his most commercially acceptable film, le mepris, is a challenging and reference filmed piece that is watchable but also exceedingly artistic.

few directors have been this confounding for their entire career.

i wish i got to talk about filmmakers i loved more and in greater detail but most people just dont want to hear a guy without formal film education ramble on about the love of a director or a movie they never heard of. regardless, if you need any refreshes on anything, let me know. ill be happy to send you into a state of information overload

revisiting bergman

2009-11-28T19:24:00.000-08:00

a few months, i revisited my first moment film snobbery and recently, i decided to continue my trip down memory lane. ingmar bergman and the seventh seal was the first art house movie i saw and from that moment i was hooked. i gobbled up bergman like leftover stuffing and soon i saw his entire catalog. over the years, i rewatched virtually all of his movies and maintained that i still love him. however, i realized i hadnt watched the original 5 hour versions of SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE or FANNY AND ALEXANDER; two of his most legendary works that when broadcast on PBS brought bergman back into the american movie going mind.

after watching versions that are some two hours longer than the movie releases, i was left wanting even more. scenes from a marriage is such a painful, excrusiatingly honest piece of film-making that it hurt me to watch at times. the story is very simple, two people's marriage is set up, ended, and somewhat reconciled many years later. the dialogue is so honest and real that it hardly seems like a movie. the arguments the two leads have resonates with married folks of all ages. btw, the two leads are erland josephson and liv ullman, two of bergman's regulars and its hard to believe that this was their first movie in which they shared more than a scene together.

for every bit as stark as scenes was, FANNY AND ALEXANDER is a lush, vibrant, and beautifully done masterpiece of a film. if scenes was a chamber drama, this was an epic. the film is about the ekdahl's, a family of actors whose patron dies suddenly leaving the theatre and family without a leader. fanny and alex, the two children, then have to live with a bishop who marries their mother in a house of strict punishment and complete religious piety. in the film version, what is most interesting is the depiction of the bishop. in the film version, he appears more evil but in the TV version he just appears to be very strict and unfair.

without question, my favorite part of any bergman movie is in fanny. not when uncle carl farts out a candle though that is pretty awesome. no, i am talking about the magic jew. erland josephson (again!) plays the said magic jew who is able to transport the goyem by shouting towards the heavens into a chest and then make them disappear. its an awesome scene and intentionally magically and mysterious. the film after all, is considered a fantasy.

both of these films were amazing outstanding works of art and if youre going to give them a watch, i recommend the original TV versions. they give you more incite the characters and to the story. and after all, more bergman is always gooder!

RECENT WATCHING - NOVEMBER

2009-11-28T18:41:00.000-08:00

Gomorrah

many consider this italian drama to be the best contemporary mafia film in recent history. released last year to tremendous accolades it was among the critical highlights of 2008. frankly, i dont see the big deal. it was well shot but i was frequently bored.

The Two of Us

now were talkin'! this charming french comedy from the late 60s with michel simon is a sweet life affirmed comedy set against...nazi occupied france? told from the POV as a child in hiding, its really a sweet film about a boy and a rascist old man who acts as his surrogate grandpa in a time of instability.

Tess

Roman's polanski's 1981 period piece based on thomas hardy's classic movie tess of the d'ubervilles. boooooooooooooring. 3 hour period pieces are not my thing.

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song

a movie made for the brothers and sisters tired of the man. melvin van peebles blaxploitation classic is legendary for its unapologetic depiction of race relations and unsimulated sex. the story behind this movie is just as interesting as the film itself. an odd curiousity, not a bad watch from a historical perspective.

The Family Game

generally, im a fan of 80s/90s japanese comedies but this one fell flat. very flat. perhaps it was a bit too dry and a little too satirical for my american eyes.

The Limits of Control

wow! what a jarmuschian film! that beind said, this is jim jarmusch's new movie and there is no mistaking it whatsoever. a bit like dead man in its obscurity but with a better delivery, control is mysterious and existential to a T. also, its got tilda swinton and bill murray in small roles. DONE

The Lost

american b horror movies are getting good and with the runaway success of paranormal activity, i hope that this trend will continue. the lost is an above average unsettling horror flick from 06 and begins with a nude erin brown aka misty mundae followed by some unique direction and creepiness. what else do you need?

The Girlfriend Experience

i hope to dedicate a whole blog to this but for now ill say that there is one of the best films of 09 ive seen. it is intensely well written and informative. porn star sascha grey delivers a magnificent performance that is subtle, realistic, and understated. i really have become to expect a lot from steven soderbergh.

The Decline of the American Empire

the director of this film denys arcand is the greatest quebecoise director in history. his films jesus of montreal and the oscar winning barbarian invasions are masterpieces. this is not. its not bad but plays like woody allen lite. unless you want to watch a bunch of intellectuals talk about sex 90 minutes, id give it a miss

Anna and the King of Siam

let no one say that i am not a rex harrison fan but this 1944 drama from the same text as the king and i is incredibly wince worthy rascist. harrison is no thai king and while i always enjoy a little irene dunne, i maintain that the 1950s musical is far better

The Ruling Class

peter o'toole in his prime highlight this delightful satirical english comedy from the 70s. the film is a bold statement on the uselessness of the british monarchy and is a scatching political indictment. all of the acting in this top notch and makes you wonder why o'toole hasnt won an oscar yet!

Hopscotch

speaking of actors in their prime, this 1980 walter matthau political comedy is also pretty damn top notch. centered an embittered ex-FBI agent, he sets out to make fools out of the entire department. funny and charming as ever, matthau is simply a joy to watch.

Piccadilly

we go back to 1929 for a look at a classic silent film that has held up very well. this tale of revenge, jealousy, and murder (most foul) stars anne mae wong, the first american asian star and some other people. its a shame wong isnt a bigger name as she was extraordinarily beautiful and charismatic. this is one of her best performances.

Mortal Storm

i just finished this one! i love early jimmy stewart movies and this 1940 drama is unheralded treasure of a film. directed by the great frank borzage, storm is about a german family who struggles against the early reign of hitler. one of the first anti-nazi films, the film makes a powerful statement and could be considering a polarizing piece of media in terms of american involvement in the war.

The Tale of Desperaux

yeah, this is the mouse with big ears movie with matthew broderick as said mouse. im not sure why i watched this. it looked cute. it was boring. i dont think it was meant for people who watch the mortal storm.

Yes Man

if zoey deschanel keeps making movies where she sings, im going to watch every movie she makes. singing aside, this was actually not a bad watch. jim carrey goes rubber faced again and i think i missed that. all in all, not a bad way to kill 90 minutes.

Hunger

another best of 08 film getting a dvd release. unlike gomorrah, this is an intense film. first time director steve mcqueen (not bullitt) packs an intense punch in this political drama. stark, bleak, and effective cinema verite, this is a dark film but tells an important story.

WHEW. caught up. there are probably more films in there but these are all i can track

what are my least favorite criterion collection films?

2009-11-14T06:29:00.000-08:00

every week on here, i usually post something praising the criterion collection for their awesome awesomeness. ive seen 94% of the collection and will complete it by the end of the next year. though ::SHOCK:: there have been criterion films i didnt like and some that i flat out hated. here is the list of films i flat out hated.

Wings of Desire

many consider this 1989 wim wenders film as one of the greatest movies ever made. i dont get it. its not bad perse but i found it incredibly dull and the fuzzy lens seemed a bit soap opera-ish

The Spirit of the Beehive

another "classic" that i just dont care for. i normally like spanish films from the 60s but i just found it boring though i always enjoy me some ana torrent regardless of how old she is (6-60, she can act!)

The Night Porter

i normally love twisted depictions of sexuality and this S&M/WWII fetishistic movie should be right up my alley. but no, i hated it; almost to the point of anger and migraines. charlotte rampling was never so dull

Insomnia

i am referring to the original 1997 norweigan film though i also really didnt like the remake. i love stellan skaarsgard but this story, execution, and style seemed meh and boring.

Howard's End

the ultimate sleep aid. this was PAINFUL to watch. so boring. so very boring. it was like masterpiece theater! thats the idea though, right?

Honeymoon Killers

one genre that i normally never seem to enjoy is early 70s B movies. they just feel to trashy and weird. this is a fine example of a B movie that is just bad.

Hard Boiled

i hate john woo. ive never liked anything hes done. why would i like his hong kong actioner stuff? end of story

Flesh for Frankenstein / Blood for Dracula

paul morrissey's 70s sexploitation "classics" were produced by the greatest art hack that ever lived -- andy warhol. i dont see the redeeming value of either of these.

Fists in the Pocket

an italian horror/drama/thriller done very smooth and sly though its not very good. this director never really did anything more interesting than this either.

À Nous la Liberté

director rene clair is considered one of the greatest directors of the first half of the 20th century and i never saw the big deal. some have said chaplin stole from him (which he did...a bit) but i think clair first stole from chaplin. still, didnt think this film was terribly funny

White Dog

while im all about having kristy macnichol in the collection, this sam fuller directed tepid race drama is too heavy handed for serious watching.

Armageddon

why criterion? why?

Mon Oncle Antoine

the second most boring in the collection, this tale of a boy in a coal mining family in 1970s quebec is about as fascinating as it sounds.

thats it actually. these were the only films i gave 1 star to on netflix! i hate 13/502 films. not bad.

Steamy Foreign Sexual Awakening Dramas

2009-11-11T18:14:00.000-08:00

that is what netflix claims to be a favorite genre of mine. well, that is certainly more detailed than 'independent' or 'drama.' despite briefly considering myself a pervert (i am), i started to look over some of the selections on it. of those, i was most intrigued by MAN, WOMAN, AND THE WALL. the plot is as follows: man moves into apartment and discovers that his neighbor is a possibly hot woman and begins to listen to her through their paper thin walls. in his mind, he imagines her looks, actions, what her apartment looks like, and her life in general. through some lite stalking, he tracks her schedule and is able to figure out where she works and actual begins to develop a real friendship with her as he continues to listen to her through the wall. meanwhile, the girl's boyfriend is a far creepier stalker who videotapes her in her apartment and makes voice masked harassing phone calls. the woman meanwhile has two stalkers only her neighbor has her best interests in mind and also comes off as one of the nicest and best intentioned stalkers ever. he might be the first truly sympathetic stalker character.

in many ways, id compare this to a low budget version of copolla's masterpiece 'the conversation,' with gene hackman. through technology, its possible to invade personal space like never before and some good could come of it. while man woman and the wall is not nearly as good as the conversation, its still an excellent film.

as the neighbors begins to fear the woman's boyfriend, there is a slow transition to actually help her get out of her relationship and not to necessarily be with him. he is a shy man and is torn between the woman he wants her to be and who she actually is.

also, as the film progresses, the inventions his mind created for her change to reality and less sexualized. eventually, she is simply another woman, granted a beautiful woman. its interesting that two different actresses play the neighbor; one that his mind created and one that actually lives there (after he discovers where she works). the first one is obviously more beautiful and porn star hot (surprise, the actress is actually a porn star!) but the neighbor in actuality is pretty damned hot too. the film would have been more real if the actress wasn't that good looking and perhaps a little more plain.

either way, this was 83 minutes of consistently interesting watching. thanks a lot netflix and i look forward to more "Steamy Foreign Sexual Awakening Dramas." While im at it, perhaps ill watch more "Visually Striking Dark Dramas," "Suspenseful Movies Based on Real Life,"and "German Shit Porn" i mean..."Movies of the 1920s to Watch Instantly"

RECENT WATCHING 1st Half of November

2009-11-11T17:42:00.000-08:00

oh my blog. oh my sweet little blog how i miss thee. there are so many ive wanted to write about but havent had the time or energy to do so. im going to write a real entry in a bit but just for my cataloging purposes, i want to summarize what ive watched recently (quite a few things!) that havent moved me enough to warrant a blog or their own.

HEARTS OF DARKNESS: A FILMMAKER APOCALYPSE

i was never really that moved by apocalypse now and barely reacted to it though found it interesting from a historical kind of view. however, after seeing the documentary on the horrific making of, im amazed that it got made. so, i appreciate the movie more but am still left unimpressed by it in the end.

HEARTLAND

yet another highly questionable choice on the new york times top 1000 movies of all time list. this american film from the early 90s is about a woman who goes out west to make a new life and does. she endures hardship yadda yadda. this sucked. it was dull and poorly acted and profoundly uninteresting. NEXT

THE CLASS

laurent catant's award winning biopic won heaps of awards last year and deservedly so. it is the essentially true story of a french teacher (who plays himself) and given that the story is based on his memoirs, there are buckets of truth in the film. its gritty, interesting, and plays like a good documentary. i was genuinely moved by this film

HARD BOILED

john's woo actioner from the early 90s stars chow yun fat and features the kind of stylized action that woo has become a joke for. yeah, i never liked john woo. i always thought his type of action films ushered in era of filmaking without substance. the plot of this is a bit more complex than that of face/off but it the sidegun battles were still wasted on me.

THE STORY OF O

i was sick last week and i packed together a bunch of random films into 3 days. this was among the more random choices ive selected. based on the contraversial erotic novel of the 20s? 40s? 60s? the story of o is about a strange sex cult where sex is the sexiest and sweetest taboo. many have considered one of the most influential erotic films of all time and i can see that. however, it still doesnt make for very good watching for um...long periods if ya get ma drift! HAR

SOME FOLKS CALL IT A SLING BLADE

mind you, this is not the 1997 full length sling blade but the short film that inspired the movie. billy bob thorton plays OF COURSE the loveable karl childers, everyone's favorite biscuit loving lunatic murderer/misunstood manchild. an interesting watch as a supplement to the brilliant full length version. also, molly ringwald's in this! and its only 25 minutes long so you can watch it while your lawnmower is getting repaired at bill cox's outfit.

THE COLOUR OF PARADISE

the randomness continues. this iranian film from ten years ago (told ya. its random) is a heartbreaking and painful watch, as are most iranian films (duh) but its also a superbly shot and wonderful story about a blind child and his struggle to be treatment as an equal and seen as a viable human in the eyes of his father. judging from its cinema, i think the country of iran needs a hug and a kitten to play with. HOWEVER, it has a happy ending (kind of)

HOOP DREAMS

im not watching this yet; im about halfway so note that my opinion might chance and if its does, ill repost. however, so far, i am very unimpressed by this. i remember that in '95, when it wasnt included in the oscar nominated documentaries (it was shut off), it was a huge controversy. i agree with the academy. its boring and definitely overlong. but that might change

THE UNINVITED

the original, a tale of two sisters is one of my favorite horror movies of all time. the original korean film from a couple years ago was an astonishing, almost revelatory, horror/psychological thriller and beloved to me. so, when i heard that there was a remake, i of course wanted to write angry letters and plead with the directors not to make it. because im a masochist, i watched this and discovered the biggest shock of all; that i thought the remake was pretty good. dont get me wrong, its completely lacking the atmospheric tension and creepiness that made the original so brilliant but the remake works. i am going to credit the excellent cast, particularly the talents of emily browning, elizabeth banks, and david strathairn. yeah, im shocked. ok. now im going to write an actual blog on a single movie.

RECENT WATCHING - Rest of OCTOBER

2009-11-03T17:44:00.000-08:00

like most weeks, i watch movies. here is a recent rundown of things that have appeared on my screen that didnt make enough of a mark on me to warrant its own blog entry:

CRIMINAL LOVERS - this french francois ozon dark twisted thriller from 1999 isnt as affecting and unique as swimming pool or under the sand but it definitely has its most moments of sexual power plays and murder. im a huge fan of ozon and his unique style but this one didnt really jump out at me. still pretty good though

LITTLE DORRIT - with no disrespect to the great derek jacobi and alec guinness, this was dull. this 1988 adaption of dicken's little dorrit is painfully slow and very uninteresting. without question though, both actors still deliver fantastic performances in this 6 hour borefest.

SOUTH PACIFIC - having seen this classic rogers and hammerstein revival on broadway a few months ago, i was curious to watch the original film version from the 50s. directed by josh logan, who directed the original show on broadway, it was an honest and direct adaption from the stage complete with the same wonderful songs (some enchanted evening, gonna wash that man right outta my hair, bali hai etc). acting was kinda meh but the broadway cast spoiled me a bit

ATANARJUAT (THE FAST RUNNER) - well. this 2001 film was shot on digital video, is 3 hours, and filmed entirely in innukitit (the innuit language of northern canada). that being said, it was pretty good. with all these things going against it, the fact that it was an interesting revenge tale means it was pretty outstanding. i need to give major to lead actor Natar Ungalaaq. he is completely naked running through the canadian snow and glaciers for about 10 minute running from people trying to kill him. that being said, his penis looked TINY especially after falling in ice cold water. its not a fair statement on him due to shrinkage but man, it take guts to be out there that naked and that cold. or perhaps it takes bal---nevermind.

THE UNINVITED - the version i watched tonight from the 2009 horror film; a remake of the superb korean film 'a tale of two sisters,' one of my favorite films of all time. what suprised me the most about this is that i didnt hate it. in fact, i kinda liked it though it was not nearly as good as the original. however as far as remakes go, this is probably among the best. the cast of david strathairn (sp?), emily browning, and elizabeth banks really sold it though. so yeah, this is definitely a pleasant surprise.

NIKKATSU NOIR BOX SET - this 5 disc collection of rare crime noirs from 60s japan has a few real gems. nikkatsu is a studio in japan which in the 60s was known for putting out edgier fare to connect with younger audiences looking to break from the japanese film traditions of ozu and kurosawa. basically, these films are japan's attempt to make their own stylized film noir a la the US and france. of these rusty knife and cruel gun story are a bit underwhelming. a colt is my passport looks pretty damned cool and has a quentin tarantino-ish feel to it though is more style than substance. the two true gems of this collection are i am waiting and aim at the police van which i will go into more detail below.

- I AM WAITING is a superior film noir about a washed up disgraced boxer, a mysterious dame with a sordid past, and a cafe where people go who have nothing left. this is a film that could stand up to any film noir, japanese, french, or american. definitely recommend for fans of the film noir genre

- TAKE AIM AT THE POLICE VAN was directed by the japanese noir master seijun suzuki and was a superb, intense, and twisty noir thriller. i see a lot of parallels between melville and sam fuller in this film. suzuki was definitely one of the finest cutting edge directors in japan at the time and in this early work, it shows how great he would become

revisiting my VERY first memory of film snobbery

2009-11-01T18:01:00.000-08:00

when i was 12 years old, my friend justin and i were driven to our local video store to rent a movie. my choice was BARTON FINK. it was 1992 and i was reading 'entertainment weekly' like it was the bible and i read great reviews of fink and that it had won the palm d'ore at cannes. so i rented it and of course i didnt understand it. the film was a mediation on the dangers of pursuing cash windfalls rather spiritual and creative fulfillment. at the same time, it was a scathing indictment of creativity and how its stifled, inspired, clogged, and sold as commodity. barton fink is probably one of the more unaccessible coen brothers movies so this was definitely a little heavy for a 12 year old.

when my mom picked me up from justin's house, i told her we rented barton fink. she asked what would ever inspire me to rent it. i told her it won the big prize at CAN-NEZ (yes i pronounced it CAN-NEZ). this was my earliest memory of being a film snob.

and that was the last time i saw the movie until last week. because im into silly completionist tactics, i marked it as seen on 'lists of bests,' crossed it off the 'they shoot pictures' top 1000 spreadsheet, and gave it 2 stars on netflix but i had never ever seen the movie.

i actually liked the movie but not a lot and feel that my 2 star rating was a bit premature. i mean, i was 12. in reality...i gave it THREE STARS! however, i can walk away from the movie feeling good knowing that i watched, understood it, and even when i was 12, wasnt enthralled with it. in reality, its probably one of my least favorite coen brothers movies. im not sure it should have won anything at cannes (pronounced kahn. or sorry KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! yup, i just threw in a cheap, unrelated, and nonsensical star trek reference FTW. the 12 year old michael would be proud.

masaki kobayashi's the human condition: reissue of the year

2009-10-25T10:31:00.001-07:00

over the years, ive made no secret of my opinions on gritty war films, especially japanese ones. kurosawa is one of my favorite directors of all time and i find ran, kagemusha, and seven samurai to be masterpieces. i love kon ichikawa's fires on the plain and am a sucker for ozu's sentimental tales of japanese post war insecurity.

when i initially heard about THE HUMAN CONDITION, a 9 1/2 hr 6 part epic from masaki kobayashi (director of the outstanding SEPPUKU), i was intrigued but daunted by the undertaking of yet another epic film. but since this one starred tatsuya nakadai, i rolled up my sleeves, ordered a disc a week and dove in.

since i became an extreme cinephile, i can tell whether or not im going to fall head over heels in love with a movie in the first 20 minutes or so. and with this one, i was entranced in the first few minutes. ever since i met kaji, the main character (played by nakadai), i knew that i was going to enjoy spending 10 hours with him.

kaji is a pacifist, a socialist, and incredibly naive. he seems himself as the voice of reason and humanity in an insane time. he is madly in love with his wife, michiko but not enough to go back on his ideals. throughout the ten hours, we follow kaji through being the boss in a chinese labor camp to being sent to the front of the war for his ideals and finally, as a POW in a russian war camp. in each step of his harrowing struggles, we see the pain and frustration of war and what it does to a human being. each part of the film, he has to endure some crisis of faith and conscious.

while the things kaji is doing are awful, it is all in the name to return to michiko and to find a good life for the both of them. despite all the killing and struggle to survive, never does kaji waver from his central core of beliefs. what is painful is watching him see that humanity isnt as good as he thought. throughout the first 3 parts of the series, kaji believed in the communist philosophy and that his new life was meant to be in russia with people who were more civilized and fair. but like the japanese and chinese, the russians too were brutal and violent. so he continues to search and make his way back to michiko despite all these forces against him.

SPOILERS BEGIN

he doesnt make it but the final scene of him lying dead in a desolate plane is so heartbreaking and beautiful (in a sad and gut wrenching way)

SPOILERS OVER

the execution of the above is painful to watch and left me feeling incredibly empty inside. i was so moved by the final scenes and the love in kaji's heart. i didnt cry. i couldnt. i just felt cold and empty. i needed to cuddle a cat but there werent any cats so i watched cartoons.

however, what the movie taught is that love can survive in the hardest and lonliest places. at the same time, since kaji never betrayed his own ability, one cant help wonder if things would have been easier for him. but then again, i guess that this isnt the point of the movie. the point is to embrace the struggle of humanity.

if you cant tell, i was completely floored by this movie. im not sure how its been out of the mainstream for so long but THE HUMAN CONDITION needs to return to the collective conscious of the movie-going public. or at least be fawned upon by critics and filmies alike (which looks like its happening!) this is definitely my favorite DVD watch of 2009 and among my favorite films of all time. absolutely amazing.

i need to go cuddle a cat.

i call it the tingler!

2009-10-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

in celebration of halloween, i decided to watch my favorite B-horror film ever, THE TINGLER. made into 1959 and starring vincent price with direction from the legendary b movie director william castle, this is about fear and how it manifests itself. not in the figurative sense, but in the literal way; as in, fear is an organism that builds on the spine of a human and is released through screaming. if a person is not allowed to scream, the creature on the spine builds and kills the person.

make no mistake, this is one of the silliest movies ive ever seen and without a doubt, one of hte most entertaining. and there are fantastic moments of well filmed terror. there is a great sequence that combines B&W with color, a rich red color representing blood which is first seen dripping out of a faucet and then the camera pans to a bathtub FULL of blood. awesome.

and then there is the amaing "science [very fictional]" in the movie. for example, deaf people die of fear. they dont have a chance if theyre scared really badly.

there is something so fun in the massive absurdity of it and the presence of vincent price makes everything better.

i love that this could be a parody of 50s sci fi films in the vein of LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA or THE TRAIL OF THE SCREAMING FOREHEAD.

im not really sure where im going with this...aside from saying that THE TINGLER IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!1

RECENT WATCHING - OCTOBER

2009-10-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

if you read a bunch of your recent posts, you remember that i stopped writing about films and made this my travel journal. yes, i went to the UK for 2 weeks had an awesome and didnt watch a single film setting a new non-movie watching record. that was the first time in probably about 5 years that i havent watched at least 1 movie in a week. how outstanding is that? anyway, i got back and indeed, the movie watching resumed. here is a quick recap of my recent watching since returning from my trip:

THEY WONT FORGET

a superior melvyn leroy film from the 30s. this is notable for a). claude rains donning a southern accent and b). lana turner's first onscreen role. if its amazing how much charisma and screen appeal she had when she was 15. turner's character is killed and a murder mystery develops in a small southern town. good film with solid performances

PASSAGE TO MARSIELLE

the claude rains-athon continues! this michael curtiz director film from the 40s stars humphrey bogart, peter lorre, and syndey greenstreet alongside rains. for film buffs, you will note that this the core that made up casablanca, curtiz's legendary film made the year earlier. aside from the cinematic interest of seeing this reteaming, the film is told in flashback...in a flashback...in a flashback. its not a great movie, but an interesting watch overall. also, as an interesting aside, this film stars michelle morgan, the french actress that curtiz originally watched cast in casablanca for the role that went to ingrid bergman. morgan turned the role because she wasnt offered enough money

WHERE DANGER LIVES

the last film in my claude rains-a-thon also stars robert mitchum and mauren o'sullivan. this is an excellent film noir about a doctor who falls in love with a insane patient. to make things more complex, mitchum gets a concussion and is slowly deteriorate healthwise as the film progresses. its DOA mixed with a lil hitchcock (notorious perhaps). great noir!

UNDERCURRENT

from claude rains and robert mitchum, i moved on to a robert mitchum movie. a vincent minelli noir also with katherine hepburn making a rare film noir appearance! robert taylor plays hepburn's husband which might be crazy and trying to kill her and its up to mitchum to save the day. if someone needed to save my life, i would probably choose mitchum too. shes in good hands.

THE BANK JOB

lets move forward in time by ahead 60 years. this was the jason statham 2008 film which was actually pretty good. ive always been a sucker for a well done heist film and this is indeed one of them. not much to say about it aside from it was solid and entertaining.

GREY GARDENS

this is referring to the HBO film with jessica lange and drew barrymore from earlier this year. ive of course seen the maylses brothers documentaries (grey gardens and beales of grey gardens) and find big and little edie to be two of the most fascinating crazies ever to live. this film is actually a nice little footnote to the docs and provide some more background information on the lives of the beales mother/daughter. i can see how they didnt get a theatrical release but as a TV film, its a good watch.

CLEAN, SHAVEN

weird. creepy. unsettling. interesting. 90s indie at my peculiar.

METROPOLITAN

another 90s indie movie, director wilt stilman's debut (last days of disco, barcelona). this one is in the vein of yuppie talking movies (thanks IMDB). this shares a couple cast members from kicking from screaming, another one of my favorite 90s indie movies about nothing. metropolitan is a satircal film about the vapid lives of new york debutantes. its a nice social commentary with witty conversation. a decent, engaging film overall

curious about curious

2009-10-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

years ago, i watched I AM CURIOUS YELLOW a 1967 genre mixing swedish film that combines frank sexual politics, gender roles, and fiercely political socialist rhetoric. i must admit that i initially rented it because i heard about the boatloads of nudity and sex in it. it was one of the first major films to depict sexuality in such a way and i was curious (har har). the film is not a sexy one and at times is very dull and if youre not interested in gender roles and socialism, then this movie is not for you.

luckily, i am.

the star of the film lena nyman delivers one of the bravest performances in film history. her frank sexuality and openness with her body was remarkable for 1967 and director vilgot sjoman managed to create a film that was marketed as pornographic but is way more political than anything else. it even features a quick interview with martin luther king, jr about his views on civil disobidience! for a film that a lot of people initially wanted to watch for tits, this is a pretty big departure.

despite all this admiration i had for this blue, i didnt really enjoy it very much. flashforward ahead 2 years later and i watched THIS IS CURIOUS BLUE, the follow-up film done the year after. its a continuation of the ideals and politicisizing of the first time but with a decidedly more bitter and ironic tone. to be honest, i really preferred this one.

with both of the films, there are elements are staged documentary and filmed sequences and in this one the film between fiction and non-fiction was blurrier. my favorite scene was a staged conversation betweeen sjoman and lena about wavering committment to the film. it was a staged scene but the feel was so natural and completely shatters the fourth wall of cinema.

there are even some michael moore-like displays of civil disobidience and literally tearing down the walls of western political society in favor of a socialist regime. BRILLIANT! any idea what i just said? no well...ummm...lena nyman is naked a bunch of times again. believe me, you see everything. open and spread-bare political rhetoric and all!

i just dont like 8 1/2

2009-10-17T17:41:00.000-07:00

this is going to be a short one.

tonight i re-watched frederico fellini's masterpiece 8 1/2. unanimously considered one of the greatest films ever made, i never gave it a serious watch. i tried watching it about 5 years ago but couldnt get into it. however, a lot has changed in those years. during that time, ive experienced virtually all of fellini's catalog and enjoy quite a bit of it. ive gotten into luis bunuel and dusan makavajev; really out there filmmakers. so, when i saw it was going to be on turner classic movies, i DVR'd it to gave it a second chance.

and the result was pretty much the same.

i still dont like it. i think its wierd, often dull, and though i agree that the direction as well as marcello mastroianni's performance are excellent, if not sublime, the movie as a whole is lost on me.

in some ways, im kind of glad that im not going crazy for this because it means that not every film in the upper echelon i like. if my tastes as to what is the best of the best is the same as everyone else, it wouldnt terriblt original for me now would it.

so with that, 8 1/2, the searchers, and l'atalante would never be in my top 100 (or 10000!) of all time.

the joy of being a captive audience

2009-10-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

its been 2 weeks since i watched a movie. i slept on the plane ride over to the UK and whilst in the UK, i only watched season 2 of burn notice so i spent OVER two weeks not watching any movies. this is some sort of personal starvation record of film. though now that im home and facing a full DVR, i whet my appetite with a couple movies on the way back.

people watch movies on planes that they would NEVER watch in a theater or even DVR but with 7 hours and no charged laptop battery, watching YEAR ONE with jack black and michael cera seemed like a great idea. i had some vague interest in seeing this in theaters but the extraordinarily bad reviews swayed me and my $12 but at 30,000 ft, i was pretty excited to see it. there were other options but im not sure you can call terminator: salvation an option.

while i didnt love the film, i laughed consistently throughout the picture. it was actually not a bad watch and had some genuinely funny moments. when it was finished, i was happy. i had actually benefited from being a totally captive audience. to even more of a suprise, i started watching the latest woody allen movie whatever works and didnt enjoy it as much as i thought i did. however, i only watched half of it as i fell deathly ill 45 minutes in and collasped after a horriffic trip to the lavatory but that is TMI.

but back to year one.

how often has that happened to people? they get on a plane, watch a movie they would never see in theatres and end up enjoying it. quite often. i also watched marley and me.

well, i sort of watched marley and me. i didnt actually listen to the soundtrack but i caught myself looking up every now and again at it. i didnt want to watch this for many reasons, namely: 1. its a family film, 2. jennifer aniston, 3. owen wilson, 4 (and most important): i know that the freakin dog dies and when did i look up? WHEN THE DOG WAS AT THE FUCKING VET AND BEING PUT TO SLEEP!!!!!!!! and yes, i got teary. from a movie i wasnt watching without a soundtrack.

i changed my mind. being a captive audience sucks.

did i also mention i watched the last 30 minutes of transformers 2 on the plane as well and considered attempting to crash the plane to avoid anyone else having to watch it when it looped again.

great, now im on a no fly list for that statement. dear, government, i didnt actually mean that last statement. it was meant in jest because transformers is evil. please remove my name from no fly lists as it was a joke. sincerely, mpathy h

Day 12-14: the highlands, the peat, the sheep, and the sheep

2009-10-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

in scotland there are approximately 34598098230948267821098 sheep to people. i discovered this on my way up to inverness from edinburgh. it was to leave edinburgh so early as it is really a fantastic city with excellent food and terrific ambiance and my good friend stef, a canadian.

we drove up via pitlochry, a small quaint town which is mostly a whiskey distilling town including blair athol which is one of the makers and suppliers of bells blended whiskey. they also make an awesome single malt and is one the older distillers in scotland. we of course went on a tour and cathy even tried whiskey and i have a series of 3 pictures detailing it. i am not going to describe them as the pictures each tell a thousand words, mostly hilarious...for the viewer.

however i am getting ahead of myself. before going up to pitlochry, we stopped at stirling which has an impressive castle. a very impressive castle in fact and if you know braveheart, you will know that this castle was the one of robert the bruce, the king of scotland during the time of william wallace. also at stirling castle was the residence of mary queen of scots for a bit and that of james the 2nd. the views from the top are amazing and i can definitely see how a ghost would want to haunt this castle (which it does). there was a murder most foul there and the dead guy's ghost haunts the ground. definitely not a bad haunt.

the town of stirling is, like most olde cities, walled in with the old section of the city looking well...old. its also on a giant hill. so cathy and i climbed up to the top of the hill where the castle roosts. i told cathy there wasnt a parking lot knowing full well there was. so we walked the mile uphill...happily! it was a great view all the way up

we went on a castle tour and enjoyed it thoroughly.

after that, we went to the william wallace monument. we didnt walk up the tower because it was too expensive and we were already at the top of a mountain.

after that it was up to pitlochry and enjoyed the quaintness as well as the whiskey. mostly the whiskey.

the drive up through the highlands was amazing. i am going to try and describe it. so, there werent mountains but hills and there werent any "towns" just tiny tiny villages but none of these were actually visible through the road. it was just hours of peat covered hills with craploads of sheep all around us. little white dots on the mountainside that look like snow; they give a lot of character to the hills. there were also highland cows, long haired cows with huge horns.

it was just like this hours and it never got old.

we arrived up in inverness rather late at night and went out to a dinner at a swanky restaurant. it was a bit overpriced but fish up there is fantastic. trout and salmon were as fresh as iceland , boston, and the west coast combined.

the next day we went to culloden battlefield, clava cairns, and loch ness.

clava cairns is a series of a neolithic burial chambers from 2000 BC. around each chamber were a series of standing rocks. it was like stonehenge but not as impressive but still pretty remarkable when you together that 4000 years ago, olde timey humans were doing stuff in the very sheep covered grounds you are standing in. the air was mysterious and a bit cold and wet but it was raining.

next up, we to culloden battlefield. in was on this battlefield that the dream of an independent scotland died. this was the site of the last battle on english soil. on this battlefield was the last stand of the jacobites and their energetic leader bonnie prince charlie. it was an exceedingly bloody and tragic battle for scotland and the guides were clearly still affected. the moor that the battle was fought on war was surrounded by nothing and just an eerie flat landscape where thousands of people died. i encourage you all to look up the battle of culloden and watch the peter watkins film about culloden. also, tilda swinton lives near there! if i had more time i would have went to her town and waited and tell her how awesome she is. the last of england...hell yeah! the deep end? ORLANDO!? YEAH!

but i digress. last stop was loch ness. there is a common misconception that people go there for the monster. no. it is the largest fresh body of water in britain and is also home to uruhquart castle, some of finest castle ruins in the north of scotland. its right on the water and is picturesque. the loch is also surrounded on all sides by magnificent hills so the loch ness monster is really almost an after thought when compared to the brilliant scenery. we took a boat out that went to the castle and cruised around. lovely!

at that this point, i still hadnt got into any accidents with the car. ill cut off your curiousities now and say that i didnt get into any accidents at any point and got the full deposit back on the car. so :P to all of you. however, we paid for gas upfront and we were told to return the car empty, something that i took literally and when we pulled into the parking lot of our hotel (sorry car park) the gas gauge said we had about 24 miles left till the car runs completely out of gas. all we need to do was drive to the airport.

end of story for now.

that night we went to see franz ferdinand, the native sons of scotland, at a TINY venue in inverness. normally, these guys play to arena in the UK and large 5000 person theatres in the US and seeing them in a venue that holds 1500 is amazing and unique. unfortunately, there were about 2000 people there and the venue was COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY PACKED! we spent the entire concert halfway between the inside and outside of the venue. we were literally standing in the double doorway that opens to the dancefloor because we didnt want to getting too inside. yeah, this was definitely way too overbooked. however, we both enjoyed the show quite a bit. immensely in fact as both of us are fans of this delightful scottish dancey pop group.

that was the last night of our trip im afraid

the final day however was an eventful and busy busy day. we did the following

- got in our car which stopped registering how much gas we had left and we made it...BARELY to inverness airport whcih was actually about 15 miles out of inverness. we were so close to running out of gas

- the happiest moment of the trip for me was seeing the 250 quid deposit for the rental car credited back to my credit card

- flew to london gatwick

- dropped our bags (which weighed 60 kg, or 150 lbs total) at victoria station baggage drop and hopped on the tube to knightsbridge

- knightsbridge is the stop of harrod's the famous department store in london which has everything. literally. everything. its posh, opulent, decadent, and has a 7 story egyptian escalator.

- we went to high tea at the georgian restaurant there on the 5th floor and had traditional high tea with sandwhiches, scones, tea, and cakes AND a chocolate tea (in celebration for chocolate week at harrod's) with chocolate cake fruit sandwhiches, chocolate chip scones, and white chocolat ein whcih to dip fruits ::drools::

- gave meera offensive thing from york. she LOVED it.

- bolted out of harrod's, went back to victoria, picked up our bags, and headed towards paddington. at this point, it was 530 and our flight leave at 730.

- at paddington, we got on the heathrow express at 556 and was at terminal 5 by 615

yes, we made our flight. BARELY. we made final boarding call and got on the plane. SUCCESS

our flight home was without incident and we got home at 1130 which would have been earlier if we could actually find our car in the tech square parking garage (third floor, front)

and that was it. we were back in stupid america. we ARE back. ill have more thoughts on this but i have to lot to do. i have to deal with the pictures and start scrapbooking the trip and of course start watching the incredible amount of stuff on my DVR which is 100% full and that is not even counting the last 3 eps of curb, bored to death, always sunny, and mad men which are waiting on demand for me.

fin.

Day 12 (i think): The Burgh of Edin

2009-10-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

when i first said i was coming to ediburgh i was met with an unheralded chorus 'I LOVE THAT CITY!' i have to say that i agree, this city is absolutely amazing. the architecture is pure georgian, 18th beautifully preserved tall buildings in the midst of magnificent monuments and a wonderful castle capping off the skyline. since it was never bombed or engulfed in flames, the city is totally preserved with just a couple modern buildings jutting out over the skyline.

DAY 1

we woke up and headed immediately to the small but well stocked national gallery of scotland. the art museum has a spectacular collection of old masters including a very impressive collection of early italian rennasaince paintings including some wonderful raphael and daddi works. there were also quite a few baroque italian and flemish works including a room of rubens and a fantastic 7 painting collection by rococo painter claude lorraine. breathaking

unfortunately, the impressive collection of impressionist and realist works were being restored though there was a gaugin that i studied still there. oh well. the basement had some impressive works by scottish painters. yes, there are scottish painters and they are quite accomplished including sir david wilkie who i will seek outin the US

after that, we left and met my good ole lovely and dear canadian friend stef and a friend of hers. they took us to 'worlds end' which is a slightly touristy, albiet, very acclaimed pub. i ordered haggish. i ate haggish. i really cant see what the big deal is! its quite good! its like ground meat and bulger. it was delicious! ive had it again since and confirmed that it is heavy but good. black pudding is still gross though regardless of what sauce you put on. its still ironey and disgusting.

stef went with us to holyrood palace, the queens residence when visiting edinburgh. while not as impressive as buckingham, it was quite lovely. the rooms had a stately and simple elegance which seems to be the trend for the royalty

the ruins of the 12th century abbey the palace was built attached to the palace and after the perfectly executed audio tour, we walked around the gardens and ruins. again, they were beautifully restored.

stef left us and cathy and i parted ways for a bit. i went to cadenheads, the largest independent scotch distillers in the country. i had myself a nice little tasting of some of their malts which the supply to major scotch producers like glenfiddich and glenmorangie and a chat about distilleries to visit up north. they also slagged the tourist scotch places :) ftw cadenheads. i ended up purcashing a half liter of cask strength 17 year single malt (for 12lb!).

that night, i went to dinner...ahem...alone. i needed. no CRAVED indian food. so cath and i split. i went to mother india and ate my weight in indian food. sooooooooooo good. it was tapas style and everything down to the perfect coriander chutney was amazing.

and so ends day 1

DAY 2

finally i ate a traditional english breakfast (in scotland). more haggis along with ham, sausages, eggs, beans, tomatoes, and mushrooms...and coffee. lots of coffee. i had a weird dream the night before about smuggling monkeys into the US. and my coworkers were there too. no idea.

we went back to the national gallery to see a ticketed exhibition on spanish art in british collections which included quite a few works by murillo, zubraran, valesquez, and goya. twas a fascinating exhibit and since its not a traveling show, this was the last chance to see all these works together with interepretations by classic british artists john constable, wilkie, turner, and gainsborough among others (nice copy of las minenas by wilkie)

then we went to edinburgh castle and was daunted by the size of it. of course, we might have been tired by the hundreds of steps to get up there. still, it was a very impressive castle in which every building that wasnt still officially used was filled with supplemental historical informationa nd exhibits on american prisoners kept and an interesting bit on the fascinating history on the scottish crown jewels which had been stolen, hidden, and change hands more than a slutty scot on a saturday night.

lets see. whats next.

oh yeah. we went to the national museum of scotland (not the national gallery) and saw more ancient scottish ruins, archives, and things. we are getting sick of history but its impossible to ignore the incredible of stuff that has occured on this little island. this museum had someo f the best preserved vases, metal, and leather ive ever seen going back to 4000 BC! or 30 BC if youre a religious person (and thus, wrong)

then: coffee at elephant house, a great coffee bar where harry potter was imagined by jk rowling (or so the place claims). then shopping.

now im blogging.

WHEW

ok, i cant write anymore. i drank a nice nip of scotch and am getting ready for another traditional roast dinner. it wont be as good as liz's but im hoping for goodness nontheless.

3 more nights...

day 11? 12? - reliable internet again -- need to blog

2009-10-10T12:14:00.000-07:00

ok, ive checked my gmail, facebook, messages, twitter, sirtris mail, and voicemail. i have 30 minutes to write a good blog about york, durham/hadrian's wall and day 1 of edinburgh

YORK

probably the most picturesque city ive been to in england so far. this is an extraordinarily old and charming city with an amazing walled old city dotted with ruins and a medieval section of the city called the shambles. some of the streets are so narrow that the buildings nearly touch each other. this is definitely a 2 day UK city.

we went to the york history museum which was one of the most interesting museums so far. york is built in the heart of old viking, roman, and normal settlements and each one was built on the other so there are archeological finds aplenty and this museum has em all. it also includes ruins from the old sections of the city. literally, the museum is built on the foundations of the old ruins of the city! as the museum descends there are more and more distinct areas of ruins.

there is also the old norman keep which is comparable to the keep in cardiff castle. its a large circle made of stone. cool. this is right the york castle museum. the keep used to be in the now destroyed york castle. there is a museum that stands which is a definite visit for its inclusion of york from the victorian era to now. there are recreations of kitchens from the 18th century the 1950s as well as vintage tubs and vacuum cleaners. however, the crown jewel of this museum is the 2 recreated victorian streets which need to be seen to believe. yes, ill post pictures soon

finally, i will discuss yorkminster abbey which is considered in the top 4 cathedrals in britain (salisbury, st pauls, westminster being the others). its an architectural marvel! not only is it huge but the extensive crypt is built on the remains of the cathedrals from older civilizations. its interesting. one period stops and another one begins all in a 5 foot height!

the lats night in york was spent on a ghost tour; the original ghost walk of york! it wasnt as scary as new orleans but full of macabre charm. also, the mighty boosh took the same one a year or so ago :) the guide was a delightful old chap with excellent vocal timing and a vincent price like narrative. definitely good for some scares and fun

but sadly we had to leave but en route we stopped off in...

DURHAM!

what is durham? there isnt much there. its a posh lil university town but the main is the durham cathedral and castle, two world heritage sites. durham cathedral is considered the most preserved norman style cathedral in the world (their empire was big this is impressive) and is also the final resting place of st cuthbert, the patron saint of pets! prayer to st cuthbert for the cats

i climbed the tower 380 steps up to the top as i have in every cathedral that had an open tower (salisbury, york, st pauls). this is a pretty tough climb but it was worth it for the sites of northern england and north umberland. the old section of the city had the same ancient feel to it that stratford and york did but it was flanked with an ultra modern mall with a bunch of UK chain restaurants (ask, slug and lettuce, nandos, um...pizza express?). anyway, it was the cathedral that was the main site and see it we did. it was very impressive. the castle was pretty small and not worth the admission price which is why we didnt go in :)

besides, we needed to be off and get to the housesteads roman fort on hadrian's wall.

at this point in the trip, the 4 divided highways ended and the 2 lane carriageway took over and for 90 hellish hilly miles, i drove it and only hit one curb! that is a victory uninitself. also, we began to see sheep. thousands of them. thousands and thousands and thousands of sheep all around us. i wondered if i died and went to heaven and was rewarded with virgin sheep.

we ended up in hexham which was the start of hadrian's wall...or at least so we hoped. we got stuck in rush hour in hexham (its 1 light but what a ridiculous light!) which derailed our plans to get to the roman fort ruins before it closed. however, with a lot of help from our england map (stupid sat nav was useless!) we ended being pointed towards the housesteads roman fort.

finally we arrived at the most preserved of the roman ruins that date back to the 2nd century and despite the site being closed, we climbed to the ruins anyway and snuck in. however, hadrian's wall was completely overtaken with sheep. the sheep invaded and conquered the fort. apparently, the area around the wall is all farmland and sheep graze there. it was adorable! so after a quick frolic (i have picture) and a wander around the ruins, we headed back to the car and onto to edinburgh.

that was the day of our 5 year wedding anniversary and after 2 hours of backroads, we got to edinburgh and found that the main way to get our hotel was closed. the entire city is being uprooted to make way for a tram so after 20 minutes aimless driving in the rain and the dark, we saw the hotel behind closed barriers figured we couldnt to it and parked in a carpark 10 minutes walk away. we got the hotel with all of our heavy luggage and checked in. turns out that they had parking and it was way cheaper than the carpark and cathy forgot her wallet in the car. in short, we had to go back get the car got lost again and arrived very very angry. we both agreed it was a bit of a suprise we didnt break up by the end of it all! not the best way to end our anniversary but a few reasonably priced drinks of good single malt scotch put me in a good mood. sleep fixed cathys mood...i think.

alright, that is it. i wanted to write about edinburgh day 1 but this is really long right now and most of you have probably stopped reading. either way, i have to get a party being thrown by my canadian friend stef for her flatwarming a 10 minute walk from my hotel :) im a popular boy arent i? i have ladies all over the world!

ADIEU!

Day 9: York or Welcome to the North

2009-10-08T10:48:00.001-07:00

i dont have much time to write as my internet pass expires in 13 minutes. i wasted way too much time on twitter and the criterion message board. right:

YESTERDAY

- went to BATH: amazing oustanding medieval roman city. toured the baths which is actually a working roman spa and bath. everything is remarkably reserved. drank spa water with 47 minerals. its a little metallic

- went to STRATFORD ON AVON: birthplace of shakespeare, home of some truly old and still standing 15th century houses. birthplace of shakespeare was cool old house but the museum was rather interesting

- went to NOTTINGHAM for dinner: nothing here except "trip to jerusalem", the oldest pub in england, dating back to 1150. ate a ploughman's and cathy had the oldest prawn cocktail in england (thanks sian)

- arrived in YORK

TODAY

- walked around york. need more time to write about it

off to edinburgh tomorrow. will type review of york then. on the way up, we are stopping at a castle whose name i forgot and hadrian's wall

Day 7: last day in Cardiff; too many sad goodbyes

2009-10-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

Somehow this trip is half over and ive already to bid farewell to many of my dearest friends. There should be a cap as to how many people one can say goodbye too in this small a period. At this point, I have said 11 sad goodbyes and have one more to go in the later part of the trip. Staying with friends for half of the trip sounded like a great idea when in theory but its much easier to say goodbye to a comfortable and impersonal hotel room than it is to say goodbye to friends who opened their homes for you.

This evening, I had some tough ones. I said goodbye to people I only met but knew for a while. others i know excruciatingly well and some i wish to know better. either way, there is not enough time. in that respect, i wish i was in hotels. that way, i could only look to upcoming destinations than looking back thinking about the times i missed with my dearest friends

that is the problem with having your heart stuck in two continents. i have two lives -- one in boston and in the UK and its heartbreaking to think that they never be one.

well enough melancholy.

yesterday, still terrified of driving, we went to caerphilly castle (ca-philly) north of cardiff. the castle is among the oldest in europe and the second largest in the UK behind windsor. the ruins were remarkably preserved and from the top of the walls gave some fantastic views out on the area into the valleys around. after that, we went to llancaiach fwar (sp?). this is a welsh historic manner that is set in period. in other words, one is transported through time to the 16th century where the guides only know of their world and not of such things as tea and density. i had a fantastic time confusing periods of history and trying to engage them in conversation typical to their period. or a period. or phrases i just made up that sounded ye olde (like 'i forsook the cuppence' 'rubadub'). good times. after, we went up a mountain and i had a bit of a frolic (pics to come).

then back to wales where we met up with @sianz and @anna_seren for welsh sushi which is wool covered in fish scales. ok, it was actually real sushi with fish and stuff. it was quite good though i dont think think new york (or japan or boston or seattle) has anything to worry about. better than jersey or philly though.

today we went to THE BIG PIT, an UNESCO world heritage site that is literally, a big pit. coal pit. we descended 100 meters into the ground to the UKs oldest working coal mine and received a guided tour from an actual coal miner. they put miners helmets on my head and everything! we went with a childrens school group which sadly were not left behind to work in the mines. pity. however, i did purchase a coal sheep in the gift; a nice consolation.

the plan after that was to go to the ancient city of bath but it was late, wet, and rainy so we went into downtown cardiff. after all, it would be kinda strange if cathy stayed 3 nights in cardiff without actually seeing the city. so in we went and walked around the downtown, civic center, arcades, and took a tour of cardiff castle. its not as impressive as caerphilly but nice nontheless.

for dinner, liz and james got take away from a real bonafide chip shop. since neither of us have had fish n chips on this trip, it seemed only appropriate. not only did i have fish n chips but i had a welsh clarks pie! whats in it? meat. and onions. and a little brown sauce. the meal was outstanding! the chips were french fries, they were slightly smaller than potato wedges and not the least processed. they were actual potatoes cut up! novel concept, eh?

finally, we all went out and met sian, anna, @sarah_nicholas and @lozhamer for a small tweet up at buffalo bar where we had the pleasure of seeing two great bands off merge records: the rosebuds and telekinesis. the former played without mics on the dance with just the singer and the accordian player; a very different type of set from what i am used to seeing from them or anyone else. telekinesis, whose principal member michael i have a mutual friend with, was fantastic. his album (s/t) is one of my favorite albums of 2009 and their live show was amazing. all 8 people in my party enjoyed it. now im here sleeping in the bed of death getting ready for a couple sad goodbyes in the morning and then a fun day in bath, startford, and york!

why the bed of death? because it is the most comfortable bed in the world and one falls into a death life sleep. speaking of which, my atavin is kicking in and i am losing the ability to type.

so, to finalize, i would like to clone myself and send him to work in the US and ill make do here because that is the only way a dual life between my two spatial loves can happen

day 5: london --> cardiff: oh, inverted island!

2009-10-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

the uk is one of the most remarkable lands on earth despite lacking many of the things that make other places so amazing. it doesnt have mountains, deserts, beautiful beaches, or extreme climates that make exotic lands so spectacular and for the most part the food is a touch above mediocre.

the whole country is the size of the east coast of the US yet there is more history here than anywhere else in the world that isnt currently at war. today we got up early and took a taxi over to the car rental place and began our trip to salisbury to see the cathedral. picking up the car, i know it would be a horrific challenge.

where i come from we drive on the proper side of the street. gods side like all good people.

well, it was hard. it was REALLY hard. it wasnt so much the opposite side of the street; that was actually pretty easy. if you followed the person in front of you, then the path is laid out. the hard part was having to negotiate distance from the other side of the car. as a result, i was hugging the sidewalk (sorry...pavement) side of the street pretty frequently. yeah, the cars on the drivers side looked like they heading right towards me and the curb looked miles away. got that one reversed i did

ok, back the UK

we drove along the M4 which might rival route 80 in pennsylvannia in terms of boringness and eventually turned off and headed south into salisbury. as we entered, we saw that it was founded in 900 AD. that makes that the 1650 founding date of north andover, ma seem recent and trivial. as we drove in, we passed under thousand year old gates into the old section of the city towards the cathedral which might be one of the most important ones in all of europe. it is huge. mammoth. ridiculously huge. it is simply astounding to think of 13th century workers putting together this 15 story building and spire without technology. inside was some of the most intricate and prolific stained glass ive ever encountered. and to top it all of, in the chamber house there lies the best preversed of the magna carta.

now THAT is a cathedral.

on our drive over to old sarem, the name for the site of the former cathedral and palace, destroyed in the 11th century, we encountered some more amazing cultivated fields strewn with sheep and giant ass pigs. these were definitely eatin' pigs and not the snuggly kind.

the amazing thing about the UK as with the most of the europe is that its had thousands and thousands of years to perfectly cultivate its land. all of the land has been touched and changed by humans but it remains looking beautiful and pristine in ways that i cant imagine the US pulling off. earlier, i mentioned that the UK lacks mountains but has some of the most perfect rolling hills ive encountered. as we drove to old sarem, i regained my appreciation for the european touch and the amazement of the UK is despite what it lacks.

after seeing the ruins of old sarem (piles of rocks but still fascinating) we went to stonehenge. after making 098029830948239482039 spinal tap references including actually playing the song on my cell (not my mobile...i dug up my cell phone which has my music collection on it) out loud as we were walking around i asked cathy what the big deal was. she said that literally with the druids, nobody knew what they were doing though who they were was largely documented. thousands of pounds of rocks being stacked perfectly upon other thousands of pounds of rocks lacking basic technology though they most likely pulleys.

seeing these old parts of the UK reminds you how special and sacred this land is. it is where anglo saxon society took its roots and though it may hard to believe, on this grubby little island is some of the most amazing scenery and history in the world.

im in the diff now at the home of liz and james and will regale you all with tales of merriment and songs tomorrow or if im too drunk then the next day or if im too drunk...

btw, since it has been brought to my attention, i have done the following things:

- ate a scone with clotted creme with strawberries at buckingham palace

- had about 100 cups of tea at every conceivable time of day

- ate a few traditional pub meals

- have been drinking my weight in warm beer and ciders

day 4: final day of london and the joy of being a tourist

2009-10-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

what have a i learned in these fateful nights since i arrived in the LDN so many days ago, a groggy traveller

1. free wifi is not to find in elephant and castle

2. travel blogging is hard and should now be attempted after ive taken atavin at 1 am after a night of heavy drinking

well, here it goes

so my love affair with london definitely continues. there are so many things about the city that remind of new york that i often wonder if i can catch the 1+9 to bakerloo. while crossing the jubilee bridge, i was cursing tourists for stopping traffic so that they can take a picture with the stupid thames in the background. im trying to get to the tate. go away. i need to see me some jeff koons.

but im a tourist too. granted, i might know a bit about the city but im still definitely a visitor to this amazing city. part of the problem of being an nyc expat is that i constantly feel like a visitor to wherever i go. even in my home of boston, which i know inside and out, i still feel like a gaping tourist sometimes while walking along the charles or catching something at the mfa.

this is the essence of being human -- to be able to be a tourist in places that are both familiar and foreign. i think that the beauty and sites are relative and that an amazing waterfall is still amazing regardless of whether its outside of albany or in africa. one should always respect the city they live and hope that they can find new crevices to discover.

that said, the last 4 days in london have been amazing and breathtaking as usual. i went to places with cathy that ive been before but didnt mind returning with a fresh partner (tower of london, westminster abbey, greenwhich GMT sites, among others). on this trip, i saw some new things i hadnt experienced: st paul's cathedral with its 500 step ascension to the top and the london eye which is like walking 500 steps up. both afford me with some amazing views of london i hadnt yet seen before.

somehow though, after 6 trips and about 3 1/2 weeks spent in this city, i still have things i want to see: an unknown art museum in north london (totally forgot the name), a return trip to the national gallery, a proper wander around harrod's, and day trips to canterbury and oxford. i need to come back here and soon.

like new york and boston, this is a city i can continually a be tourist in...though im not going to stop and take picture blocking traffic on major thoroughfares...assholes.

Day 1: London

2009-09-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

ive been up for a while. 40 hours or so. i just got from dinner with zoey and the cath and fading fast. however, i am going to try to write a lil sumpin' up about this lovely day 1 of london. traveling a red eye overnight goes in several different stages:

- on the flight, not sleepy gives way to boredom which gives way to periodic sleep

- seriously, im like a cat. i tried to fool myself and intentionally didnt watch movies on the in flight entertainment dealie so i can be bored and sleep. it sorta worked. i figured watching TV shows was a good compromise (flight of the conchords, spaced, and peep show -- 90m. crap)

- next, off the plane there is a feeling of disorientation most of the time. when us americans travel to other countries and suddenly its a day later and there are foreign languages all over the place, its a little disorienting. when going to england, everyone just sounds polite. god bless that accent. too bad its not scottish

- arrival into center, reinvigorated. i prefer to brush teeth, wash face, carry on semblage of normalcy which works until the day is a few hours and the first of many crashes begin

alright now, what i did in between crashes?

1. went to westminster abbey: saw a lot of tombs, took the audio tour. when i was there in january, i didnt have much time and had to bust on through without actually observing much. having seen it for 2 hours i can assure all of you that it is not a waste of time or money and charles darwi is buried there!? WTF!? see christians, evolution founder in church. teach it to students. suck it.

2. went to buckingham palace. this may not seem like a big deal and it really isnt but its only open 2 months of the years for visitors. after all, the queen is probably having crazy sex orgies -- randy old girl. yeah, that place may not look like from the outside but inside its definitely a bit impressive, what with the rococo frescoes, guilded EVERYTHING, and rubens paintings scattered about, its definitely a site to behold.

ok, that is day 1. tomorrow is day 2. there will bemore things and hopefully less traveler's GI issues

TOPIC CHANGE: MOVIES --> MY VACATION

2009-09-28T19:39:00.001-07:00

for the next couple weeks i am going to be blogging about my vacation to the UK for 2 weeks. ill include thoughts, observations, ideas, sights, meals, drunken exploits, and other things that will occur to me in my whirlwind 15 day trip.

so stay tuned and relax, i might even slip some movie stuff somewhere in the fray.

when the highest a movie can achieve is a tinge above mediocrity

2009-09-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

FLASH OF GENIUS is a biopic about of a man named Dr. Robert Kearns, the man who invented the intermittent windshield wiper. the movie stars greg kinnear in the titular role and he does it with style and substance. in fact, kinnear may be one of the most charming and likeable actors today and his presence takes a film to new highs. this movie is mostly about patent law and a court case to determine if ford stole his inventions. that being said, its not going to be a thrill a minute exciting rush of awesomeness. john grisham it ain't.

flash of genius is ok but it had the potential to be so much worse. a world where every story deserves a movie sounds intriguing but unfortunately, that would result in a lot of boring films being thrust out. while the story of bob kearns is interesting, it isnt the most fascinating subject matter. kinnear is the real hero of this movie. he sells his role and plays it with conviction and heart. it is thanks to him that the movie is the greatest it can possibly be.

i watched this with moderate interest with occasional folding of laundry and lazy web surfing and by the time the film ended, i was sorta glad i watched this flick. i also realized that there was nothing i would improve upon. the highest aspiration for what this can be was attained; a decent, sometimes dull, vaguely unmemorable film. so congrats to all involved for making a passable film about something that for all intents and purposes should have been dull beyond words.

RECENT WATCHING 2nd Half of September

2009-09-26T15:06:00.000-07:00

ive been busy and would like to blog a few of these things, especially in some of sort of film noir round up, but meh...here is a recap of my recent watching i dont feel like expounding on full time

MAN'S CASTLE - a suprisingly well done exercise in early sound film (1933) directed by early american master frank borzage and starring a young spencer tracey and loretta young, two stars who will obvious do much better. this early work is a nice indication of things to come for all

MONA LISA - the breakthrough film by famed irish director neil jordan (the crying game), this one stars bob hoskins, robbie coltrane, and a particular bad ass turn by michael caine. its a noir-ey, twisty crime film that is filled intrigue and whatnot. hoskins in crime movies is pretty much always a must watch

CARL TH DREYER: MY METIER - a criterion doc on the life and unique style of the great danish direcor carl theodor dreyer (passion of joan of arc, ordet). very surprisingly, this was very poorly done and not terribly informative. dreyer was a fascinating personality and this doesnt do him justice.

COUP DE TORCHON - i was shocked i enjoyed this film. i normally find french post new waver bernard tavarnier's to be incredibly boring but this one was exciting and sorta felt like claude chabrol instead. a young and oft naked isabelle huppert stars in this thriller of a serial killer/moralist living french occupied algeria prior to the breakout of the war.

A COLT IS MY PASSPORT - one of the films in the newly released Nikkatsu Noir collection from Eclipse; this is a tarantino esque noodle western from the 60s (...japan). not much of a cohesive or interesting plot, but this had great music and some cool camera work

GENERAL IDI AMIN DADA - a 90 minute interview with general idi amin and a profoundly interesting look into a charismatic and completely insane director. i can honestly see how the people of uganda were so taken with him. he is so swarthy and well spoken cannibal!

THE NAKED AND THE DEAD - this is a gritty war movie from the late 50s that seemed like it would be pretty ahead of its time. however, now it just looks like every 'war is heck' overlong films from the 50s. by no means bad but by no means interesting

RANCHO NOTORIOUS - fritz lang's worst film. i cant even remember if i wrote about this already. lets just say that germans probably the best choice to direct pleasant western flix

THE LONG NIGHT - now this is one hell of a film noir! starring henry fonda and directed by the great anatole litvak, this dark tale tells in flashback the events that led to the murder of a magician (wonderfully played the always entertaining vincent price). dare i say this is "smoldering?" an absolute must watch for noir fans!

SCANDAL SHEET - '...she didnt get married, she got murdered.' yup,, another smoldering film noir from the 50s. though not as good as THE LONG NIGHT, this is still a pretty entertaining flick. broderick crawford plays a tough as nails newspaper editor with something to hide and john derek is the rookie with a nose for the truth. OOOH! directed by phil karlson who also did...

THE PHENIX CITY STORY - ive been wanting to see this one for a while but was very disappointed with the true crime feel of the film. that genre is really hard to pull off and unless its in the ultra auteur hands of sam fuller to jules dassin, it just comes off as boring. and this unfortunately is really dull.

THE HUMAN CONDITION TRILOGY - will blog about this VERY VERY soon..

the hit or miss films of Eric Rohmer

2009-09-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

eric rohmer is one of the last living directors of the french new wave and alongside claude chabrol and jacques rivette, represent the last link to the golden age of cinema in france. rohmer, like chabrol and rivette have had incredibly prolific careers that have consisted of some masterpieces and some uninteresting stuff.

in terms of rohmer specifically, one of my movie 09 goals was to watch more rohmer. i watched every film in his comedies and proverbs trilogy where i will quickly summarize:

Comédies et Proverbes (Comedies and Proverbs):

1981 La Femme de l'aviateur (The Aviator's Wife) — good, flirty, idealistic, and at times humourous films

1982 Le Beau mariage (A Good Marriage) — cant remember anything about it...must not have been very good

1983 Pauline à la plage (Pauline At The Beach) — fantastic! will discuss later!

1984 Les Nuits de la pleine lune (Full Moon In Paris) — meh

1986 Le Rayon vert (The Green Ray/Summer) — i saw this a while ago and consider this a worthy entrance into rohmer's catalog though not deserving in they shoot picture's top 1000 films of all time

1987 L'Ami de mon amie (My Girlfriend's Boyfriend/Boyfriends and Girlfriends) — worst of the bunch but not horrible

last week, i watched A SUMMER'S TALE (CONTE D'ETE) and absolutely loved it. this was a part of his his series of films; the seasons series.

plot: musician falls goes to south of france to meet girlfriend who doesnt show up. he falls in love once and then again. there is a romance, melancholy, and music; all the things i love in life.

the common link Summer's Tale and PAULINE AT THE BEACH is Amanda Langlet, the cute, intellectual, and engaging star of Pauline and Summer's Tale. In each of them, she plays a wise beyond her years teen confused by love and baffled by relationships. she has an incredible charm, sophistication, and spunk that is decidedly french but not the somber sort exemplified by sandrine bonnaire.

its movies like pauline and summer's tale that make me wish i was a french teen in the late 80s/early 90s. i totally want to hang out with french hipsters in skinny jeans listening to british music. i started that sentence quite genuinely but now it seems really silly. ok, i will change that too. i wish i was french and had a time machine to go back 20 years. i already have the hipster, jeans, and music part taken care of. on a related note, i did put this lego version of the eiffel tower together in the last few days.

so yeah, in summation, rohmer has some pretty good films and in the spirit of echoing past blog sentiments, know your movie type.

im sorry but this movie isnt for you.

2009-09-22T15:35:00.000-07:00

i am (attempting) writing to an audience of mostly cinephiles; hard core movie fans who view movie watching as something other than a way to pass the time. ive discussed here in the past about movies as entertainment vs movies as fun vs movies as experiences. movies, like life experiences, may not always be good or fun, but sometimes, one profits from them anyway. is anyone going to walk away of Schindler's List saying, 'DUDE! THAT AWWWWE-SOME! the explosions were fuckin fantastic! and those naked chicks!" i hope not. or if they do i hope im around to blog about it after. regardless, it was a movie that was meant to be experienced in all of its gory, graphic, and sad detail. no, a movie like this is not meant to be fun.

with a somber, well publicized film about the holocaust, its easy to know that if you like movies for a bit of good times, you may want to give ole Schindler's List a miss. With other movies, its not as clear. This morning, i was listening to the OPIE AND ANTHONY show who were looking at a list of the top 50 best movies of the aught's from the I HEART CHAOS blog. on that list were the usual suspects (amelie, downfall, lord of the rings, beautiful mind) but there were odd and contraversial choices as any good list has -- namely, the twilight samurai (which i have yet to see!), southland tales, and SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK.

while i definitely question the inclusion of southland tales, synecdoche was the one that O&A particularly beat up on. they never heard of it and one of their callers called it 'shit' and 'boring.' i really wanted to call and tell them this wasnt a movie made for mass consumption and they shouldnt even try to comprehend it. this was not a movie made either for them or a majority of their listening audience. snooty? yes of course. true? i think so.

synecdoche, if you havent seen it, was a very challenging film to watch by any stretch. it was almost 3 hours long and begins with complicated premise: theater director gets a grant and builds a scale replica of new york in a warehouse in order to put on a play about his life. so, we are already into the realm of conceptual art which is hard enough for anyone to follow. then, as the story wears on and the play becomes part of his life, replicas of new york are being built inside the warehouse as the story of his life develops in real time. so, at any given moment, there are numerous actors playing the director, stars, publicists and then actors are hired to play the actors and so on. more models are being built and the play of his life merges with his actual life. the ending is sad, beautiful, poignant, and a little bit tragic as the warehouse play goes on continually for decades.

this isnt exactly transformers. synecdoche is a midfuck of a film about obsession, self delusion, and subtle captures the stages of life in a literal and figurative sense. to put it simply, this was not a movie made for the masses; much like how bride wars, matthew mcconnaughey movies, and tyler perry things werent made for me.

so, unless you enjoy hearing yourself complain or take to the internet to do so, before launching into a diatribe about a movie you hated and think if you were really the target audience. and THAT is why i am never going to write anything about high school musical. that shit scares me. the acting is like silent movies with talking

Mel Ferrer: The Luckiest Actor in Film History

2009-09-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

MEL FERRER is probably not a household name unless youre a cinephile or an audrey hepburn fan. however, during his nearly 50 year career on film and stage, he worked with such great directors as jean renoir, king vidor, reiner werner fassbinder, anthony mann, and fritz lang and kissed some of the most beautiful leading ladies of the 20th century (marlene dietrich, audrey hepburn, leslie caron). and oh yeah, he was also on falcon crest.

was mel ferrer a good actor? no. he lacked any sort of talent or charisma and despite his many leading roles, he is the most boring and uninteresting actor that has ever lived.

as i watched the decent but unmemorable fritz lang western, RANCHO NOTORIOUS, i really took a good look at mel ferrer's performance. not only was he bad and completely unemotive, but when he was on screen, i thought of things i could due to kill time before the scene was over. writing this blog was the top thought.

who was mel ferrer? he was born extravagantly wealthy and bedded and married audrey hepburn. yes, THE audrey hepburn. they stayed married for 14 turbulent years and during their marriage, she made all of her greatest films and a bunch of crappy ones too. the crappiest of which, GREEN MANSIONS deserves a special mention. mel ferrer directed this debacle in which hepburn as a wild jungle woman who gets seduced by an adventurer played by anthony perkins (the star of psycho...yes). i think harvey fierstein would have made a more convincing adventurer than the mild mannered, effeminate perkins.

during their marriage, perkins also roped hepburn into starring in king vidor's disasterous, horrific, nearly unwatchable take on war and peace. this film featured henry fonda as a pierre and ferrer as prince andrei, two roles that should have been either reversed or recast, as both actors were woefully miscast. has anyone out there read war and peace? the casting was one step up from casting robin williams and billy crystal. it was a film of the highest cringe values.

still, hepburn made funny face, roman holiday, sabrina, a nun's story, wait until dark, breakfast at tiffany's -- all of her famous ones -- during this period. it seems that her only missteps were on ferrer's recommendation. so basically, hepburn became a star despite ferrer's best intentions.

mel ferrer was a tall strapping good looking guy but that should only take an actor so far. the fact that he kept getting decent work for 50 years is a complete mystery. maybe people owed him a lot of favors or he talked his way into roles. either way, his fame was completely undeserved.

sadly, mel ferrer passed away last year but he paved the way for actors to be getting good work despite lacking talent. just throwing it out there, but i think chris evans, channing tatum, and paul walker, and countless others need to send a thank you card to mr. ferrer's estate for making it possible for them to be incredibly rich. send some flowers too.

quick linking note

2009-09-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

im going to be bloggin a bit this weekend on various crap but i just wanted to let you all know that i am now officially part of the LARGE ASS ASSOCIATION OF MOVIE BLOGS aka LAMB.

thanks folks!

nothing really much to talk about on the movie watching front that i am not going to write about in larger scale but if you havent seen misaki kobayashi's HUMAN CONDITION TRILOGY rent or buy it IMMEDIATELY! this film is without question one of the most powerful war films ive ever seen.

subversive cinema -- unexpected part 2

2009-09-13T17:09:00.001-07:00

the day after i wrote my subservsive cinema blog entry, i saw THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PYJAMAS and knew i needed a second part. basic plot courtesy of IMDB:

Set during World War II, a story seen through the innocent eyes of Bruno, the eight-year-old son of the commandant at a concentration camp, whose forbidden friendship with a Jewish boy on the other side of the camp fence has startling and unexpected consequences.

so this is a holocaust movie and i am going to say something i rarely say about holocaust movies:

THIS FUCKING SUCKED!

this was a shmaltzy, stupid, uneccessarily melodramatic, completely implausible, waste of time. INGLORIOUS BASTERDS is closer to the truth and more plausible than this piece of crap.

on the acting side, it starred david thewlis, remus lupin from the harry potter movies amongst other good films. he was sorta in cruise control for this one. on the other hand, vera farmiga is in it. she broke through with a great performance in the departed and has gone on to star in such films as joshua, feast of love, orphan, and this, so she pretty much used up all about that scorsese karma.

anywho, movie itself:

this subject matter of this film was dramatic enough: young boy discovers horrors of nazis. cheap sentimentality doesnt need to be poured on. the holocause was so horrific and shocking that the slightest bits of subtlety is enough to make the audience feel sickened and find humanity in the story of the struggle that the jewish people faced.

as a jew, this movie offended me. it painted a way more sympathetic portrait of nazis than i would like. second, it insulted the technical abilities of the nazis and the intelligence of the jews.

::SPOILERS::

in the climax of the film, the german digs a tiny hole in a couple minutes thereby breaking into the concentratio camp

needless to say, how unrealistic is this? you dont think that some of the jews in the camp would take advantage of this obvious design flaw? argh!

::END SPOILERS::

so there is no reason for a holocaust film to be subversive. the sympathy is there and doesnt need to be played up. just think of schindler's list. was that played up in the least? no. the images told the story without a need for overdramaticizing.

the one thing i can say in favor of the film was that it was only 85 minutes long. guess they ran out of sugar

i would like to say more but im afraid i would offensive and thereby get banned from blogspot. disagree with me? think im a fascist? im worse. im a critic and a snooty blogger with poor grammar. go fuck yourselves.

RECENT WATCHING 1st Half of September

2009-09-13T16:43:00.001-07:00

i have not been watching very many movies lately as i have been getting caught up in burn notice, mad men, and true blood. also, im 1/3 of the way through masaki kobayashi's 9 1/2 hour human condition trilogy and im working on another entry on 1960s japanese films from the bold and daring nikkatsu studios. ive also been travelling. why am i apologizing? i watch too many freakin' movies as it is? btw, i was at ATP (all tomorrow's parties music festival ny) that had film showing and i saw jim jarmusch walking around. my jaw dropped and i just wanted to run up to him and make fishing with john and down by law references with a sprinkling, 'mothafuckin ghost bustin bill murray' thrown in. i didnt see any of the films (only 1 i hadn't seen, HAUSA, which will end up in here eventually). anyway, here is a quick summary of the movies i saw that arent going to get full entries

RATCATCHER

ive now seen both of lynne ramsay's feature films and think we are in desperate need of another film from her. while this one was simply ok, her style is unmistakably unique, daring, thoughtful and brilliant. she is the best filmmaker in the british isles.

i recommend renting the criterion release which features three of her short films, kill the day, gas man, and little deaths, the latter of which is superb!

THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD

a fine methodical cold war drama from the 60s with richard burton and claire boom, directed by martin ritt. at times a bit plodding but burton was pleasantly restrained and was quite good

WHILE THE CITY SLEEPS and CAUSE FOR ALARM

i am grouping these fine superior 1950s film noirs by fritz lang and tay garnett (resp) because i DVR'd them thinking i hadnt seen them before. turns out i did and i enjoyed them so i watched them again. you should watch them

JUNIOR BONNER

in this lil cin verite number from the 70s, steve mcqueen (the ultimate king of cool) plays a rodeo champ. sam peckinpah directed this and like most of his films, i thought it was dull and didnt care for it but every steve mcqueen is worth watching. so cool.

PARK ROW

solid early work by sam fuller, one of the greatest directors of all time. this was about the newspaper industry around the turn of the last century. not a spectacular film but fuller's stye is remarkably unique. not sure how he made turn of the century new york noirish. great score as well

yeah, thats it...SERIOUSLY!